Crazy Minds

by BlueHeartForever

Published July 8, 2012

In Short Stories

PreviousNext
Mika, a teenager with an honest heart. Always smiling and being positive. Ruining his day must take a lot. Though, do not get confused, he isn't one of those extremely happy, go-lucky, hyper kind of guys, just your average, positive, shy/quite guy. He has many fans, and friends--but only two of them are his closest--the ones that know a little bit more about him. Since he is so distant from everyone, no one knows of his other side, or rather, his true self. Even so, he isn't such a bad guy...

Mika laughed with full of humor as he saw the man getting his head shopped off, and soon after his body falling into the ground motionless. He popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth and chewed on it slowly, considering he was still chuckling.

I would have SO made his little sister watch, Mika thought with a snort.

The psychotic man in the T.V. started his way towards a young, frightened woman. She screamed, hoping that someone would hear her and stop the man just in time, just as he brought his chainsaw up and slashed it at the top of the young girls head and cut her up in two. Mika started to laugh hysterically at the scene.

"What a loser! The scene would have looked better if she yelled out a", Mike stated in a girly voice, "'No! Please, stop! I beg of you'", then he started to laugh harder than the first time.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep here", Edward--Mika's roommate--grunted out in a sleepy voice.

"Dude, you are missing this!", Mika exclaimed with excitement, yet disbelief of how incredibly funny it was.

"It's a freaking HORROR movie, how can you laugh at such a thing?!" Edward sat up and glared at her incredibly annoying roommate.

"Sheesh, for the next heir of an undefeatable assassin's family, you sure are weird", Mika frowned, looking at his incredibly weird roommate.

"Just because I'm an assassin doesn't mean I find humor in people getting slaughtered" Her glare intensified as she noticed Mika rolling his eyes while tightening his lips in a straight line at the same time. A strange habit of his that Edward seemed to like a lot.

"Whatever cross-dresing freak--" He instantly got hit by his weird-ass, as Mika likes to call her--or cross-dresing freak--, roommate.

Edward quickly got under her sheets again and instantly fell asleep. Strange how the girl was just fighting how she couldn't sleep because of all the noise that Mika was making.

Mika blew out a breath, turned the T.V. off, thru the popcorn bag into the trash can, and went to bed. Edward was the only one who knew of Mika's cruel humor, and Mika was the only one who knew that Edward was a girl that liked to cross-dress and was actually the heir to an assassin's family. Even though they know such crazy secrets from one another, they aren't exactly close, making them not know much, other than what they already know. The reason as to why the other is in a boarding school is unknown for them. Truth is, they have a lot of secrets...secrets that one is either to afraid to the other, or they just don't want to hurt the other.

*~*

"Mister Edward, please tell us what is the answer to this question" Mr. Walter said in firm voice, looking at his book, and then quickly taking a glance at Edward who hesitated in answering.

Nobody knew who Edward Robinson was, or if it was her real name--or what gender she was. Honestly, nobody cared. 'He' was just the quite, loner student who didn't want to get close to anyone. The boy that loved quietness and taking classes. That kid with the four eyes--sine he weird glasses all the time. It didn't sadden her--she just didn't care what other people thought! She was an assassin in a mission--or at least that's what her parents think. Truthfully, she didn't want the assassin job anymore. Her mind was rotten to the core and she didn't like it. Whatever it takes to become a normal human being, she would think occasionally. Problem is, Mika wasn't helping, at all.

Edward had gotten up from her chair and answered the hard mathematical question. It was all quite simple for her, but not for others. She wasn't like most, obviously; she was homeschooled by the smartest of profesors around the world. Her knowledge was great, except it was quite limited to understand basic human feelings--other than fear, agony, and anger, of course. School had finished quickly, so she headed straight to her room.

Feeling exhusted; Edward thru herself into her bed and instantly fell asleep, not noticing that Mika and his two best friends--Zack and Joseph--were there looking at her with curiosity.

"He sure is one weird dude", exclaimed Zack, flipping his jet-black, spiked-up, long scene hair in the process.

"Did he really no notice us here?" Joseph wondered out-loud.

Mika nodded gently and smiled even gentler than his nod. "He's a good guy, once you get to know him", he giggled a little at the end of his sentence. He isn't gay, like Zack, and his friends know that, but that doesn't stop them from eyeing him with a raised eyebrow when he does questionable things like this. Their looks made Mika frown, "I'm not gay"

"Yeah, sure", Joseph dragged out.

"No, really I'm not", Mika kept reinsuring them with his frown deepening each time.

"Prove it", Zack said quickly, with an evil smirk. His right hand was on his right hip, while the other was making a 'bitchy snap of the fingers', making Joseph stare at him now with a questionable look. Zack answered by rolling his eyes and saying, "Don't start with me". Both their eyes landed on Mika again, making him jump a little. A smirk appeared on Zack's cute, little lips; "Now then, prove to us you aren't gay"

Mika blushed, purposely, and looked everywhere franticly. His eyes landed on a sleeping Edward, and instantly his eyes softened. Guess I should tell them the truth, with a sigh, Mika said "I like someone"

Both of Mika's best friends eyes widened, making him regret for a moment what he had said.

"OMG! And you didn't tell us?!" Zack exclaimed disbelieving.

"Well I--

"Who is she man?!", Joseph had interrupted Mika.

Weird how a second ago they thought I was gay and now they're asking 'who is SHE', internally Mika rolled his eyes.

"I can't tell you", Mika made his voice sound all shy, when in reality, he was not.

"Dude!!!", both his friends yelled at his face, not realizing that what they did was a huge mistake.

Edward had Zack in a head lock, while Joseph was already unconscious. Zack started to hit the ground with his palm as a 'I give up!' sign.

"Edward, leave him alone!" Mika yelled at his weird-ass roommate, trying hard not to laugh. Her eyes landed on Mika's. His eyes widened as he had noticed how icy they looked. It made him swallow a huge lump stuck in his throat. Such beautiful eyes..., then he slowly looked at her soft, moist lips. Somehow they almost made him melt as he noticed them slightly parted and moving as she breathed in an out to calm herself down.

Without faking like the other times that he had, he blushed crimson red, imagining himself kissing her. Damn, I got it BAD!

Later on, when Zack got his breathing back to normal, and Joseph had woken up, they all sat down to watch a movie, including Edward, which to all was a surprise. In a way, she did it as in a gesture of apology. The movie was comedy, since Mika knew if it was horror he'd end up laughing like an idiot and exposing his cruel humor to his friends. Nobody but Edward should have the privilege of knowing that secret.

The movie was very entertaining and it had finished an hour before the cafeteria closed.

"Well, we better get some food before they close" Joseph got up from his sit and walked towards the door, "What do you guys want?"

"Pizza!", Zack was the first to exclaim with excitement,

"Pizza", Mika's voice was sweet and shy, as usual around his friends,

"Pizza", Edward said with a monotone.

"Ok then", Joseph was about to leave when,

"Zack, why don't you go with him? You can't leave him to carry all of those boxes by himself", Mika interrupted Joseph's journey to conquer a few pizza boxes, to suggest that he needed some help. Of course everyone turned to him in a curious manner, knowing something was off, but none paid much thought into it, and both Zack and Joseph left to get the pizzas. Now Edward and Mika were all alone.

Slowly, and nervously, Mika turned towards Edward, who was looking at him with intensity.

"You want to tell me something", she raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"U-Uh, yeah", he glanced at his side.

This is strange behavior for him. Never have I seen him act nervous without someone other than me being around. Edward's suspicions of something being wrong increased once Mika looked at her with a strange emotion sparkling in his eyes. Suddenly Mika had leaned into Edward, stealing her lips.

Mika's hands grabbed Edward's cheeks as he kept kissing her, parting their lips for a few seconds, to then suck her lips again, their lips making noise as he did so. Edward was too shocked to respond. Never in her entire life has she been kissed, especially by such a strange boy as Mika was. Somehow, none of this seemed to be rational in her mind. Her eyes could see Mika's face as he kept sucking her lips in a sweet kiss. His eyes were closed in pure bliss.

After sometime of kissing like that, he decided to just keep their lips together, to savior the moment. His hands slid down her arms, and stopped at her hands, grabbing them and intertwining them. Noticing that she wasn't responding, Mika tightened his eyes close and pressed his lips harder against hers.

This is great, even if she doesn't respond!, Mika kept trying to convince himself that, but no matter what, he just couldn't help but feel his heart break into thousands of pieces. Having enough of stabbing in his heart, and about to cry of self pity, he pulled away and said, "Sorry, I didn't mea--"

Edward crushed their lips together once again, for just a millimeter second, and then pulled away. "Somehow, it feels good. So warm and gentle...It's my first kiss you know", Mika's eyes widened at her confession, "And I really liked it. You can kiss me anytime, just not in public", she scolded at him, knowing he would definitely kiss her in public.

Mika was speechless. Is she really saying this? Without caring whether it was real or not, he crashed there lips again, feeling content at her words, even if they weren't a confession of love. In all honesty, he just liked her more than a friend, not love, no, nothing like love.

Comments & reviews · 2
iheartluciencarr wrote a review Review · Sep 6, 2014

One of the issues I have with this story is that I feel as though it was meant to read by someone who was already familiar with the characters. I do enjoy the dynamic between Edward and Mika, but I would have preferred a little more of an explanation of the characters and who they were before they started to banter back and forth. Also, a clarification of Edward's gender would have been nice for someone, like me, who associates certain names with only one gender. The introduction strikes me as rather out of place, as does some of the dialogue, especially considering the age of the characters. Anything else I say will only be a repeat of what Lauren is saying.

User avatar
Lauren2010
Review
Lauren2010 wrote a review Review · Sep 1, 2012

Hey BlueHeart! Lauren here for a review!

This is a really interesting dynamic you have going here between Mika and Edward! I like it a lot, and it's different than the typical kind of teenage romance you see. That being said, I think there are a lot of things you could do to really accentuate that dynamic through the story.

Nitpicks!
First, there are a lot of little grammatical and spelling errors sprinkled through the piece. Several times you spelled "through" as "thru" and I think there was an instance where you used "there" instead of "their", among others. Taking a moment to do a thorough read-through (or even having another person read it through specifically to catch those errors) will help fix that!

Also, I don't think I get the purpose of the beginning bolded section. You don't need to explain about a character before the story even starts. Instead, show those details about the character through the story and let the reader discover them themselves. It'll make it a much more interesting, satisfying reading experience!

"It's a freaking HORROR movie, how can you laugh at such a thing?!" Edward sat up and glared at her incredibly annoying roommate.

1. Edward is a...girl? (okay, I get it now after reading more of the story xD)
2. "how can you laugh at such a thing?!" sounds really proper for a teenager, let alone a teenage assassin.

He instantly got hit by his weird-ass, as Mika likes to call her--or cross-dresing freak--, roommate.

I don't understand this sentence? Did Edward kick Mika in the ass? Or is he referring to Edward as a weird-ass? Oh wait, okay. Edward got hit by Mika, who he is referring to as a weird-ass (or as he prefers, cross-dressing freak). Okay, I get it, but the sentence is still poorly constructed. You've got too much going on to make sense without having to stop and think about it, which is something we want to avoid as writers. When a reader has to stop and think, it's throwing them out of the flow of the story and interrupting their experience. We want to write in a way that our readers stay immersed in the story the whole time they're reading.

Anyway, I would rework this sentence. Mainly I think the punctuation is what's causing the problem. Changing it to something like: "He instantly got hit by his weird-ass -- or as Mika liked to call her, cross-dressing freak -- roommate." The comma is what was making it weird, because it made it seem like "or as Mika liked to call her" was a different part of the sentence, when it's supposed to be with "cross-dressing freak" which was set off in the dashes.

Somehow, it feels good. So warm and gentle...It's my first kiss you know", Mika's eyes widened at her confession

This is another line of dialogue that sounds weird for a teenager to say. Not a lot of teenagers I know would say something like that, especially if they were the kind of girl who prefers to appear as a guy.

Plot
I really like the uncovering of romantic attraction going on here, but I think it could be navigated more deeply. Right now, it's a really quick introduction to Mika and Edward. We get a small sense of their personalities, relationship, and situation at this boarding school (is it a boarding school? all male I assume?). Taking the time to slow down and really delve into these characters and their environment can make the story seem much more real, as well as give the reader a much stronger attachment to the characters. Take the time to give a little more background on the characters and this school and how they came to be there. It might be interesting to throw in flashback scenes of Mika and Edward meeting for the first time, Mika discovering Edward is a girl, etc. That would strengthen their relationship in the readers eyes, and give more time for believable romantic attraction to develop between them for the reader to see.

It might also be interesting to add a few small scenes of the two interacting with each other in public/both Mika and Edward interacting with other students in the school. It would also give you an opportunity to show more of their personalities rather than just telling how they are and how they act.

Characters
I covered most of what I wanted to say about the characters in previous sections, really. I just wanted to add that I would really like to see more background on Edward's part. Why is she cross-dressing? Why couldn't she just be a girl at some school someplace? What made her want to give up being an assassin? Why did she choose this school out of everywhere else in the world? Knowing these things will make her a deeper, stronger, more connectable character.

Also, in the beginning bolded section it's mentioned that Mika has a secret (or a "true self" that he doesn't let everyone see). I don't think we ever discover what this is? Unless that's his sadistic sense of humor? Speaking of which, how does that factor into the story? Is that why he is interested in Edward? Why he kisses her? Or is it just something about him?

Conclusion
All in all, I really liked this story! I think it's a great start to a really interesting story. I love the dynamic you've started up between these two, and the situation they're in (even if some of the background stuff is still vague). With a little bit of work, it could be an even stronger, greater story!

Great job and keep writing!

-Lauren-



NO U
— Carina