Published September 28, 2008
I marvel at the work of men:
That silver ’scrapers grand
And bubbled crowns of Capitols,
Or minarets, still stand—
But what are they compared to pines
Or God’s domed Azure Hall?
The landscape of His nature’s room
Is stateliest of all.
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140,890 Literary Works • 673,704 Reviews
Very refreshing. I enjoyed it immensely.
Criticism ... Some words upset the flow of the poem. It almost makes it come to a halt.
But, like I said, I enjoyed it immensely.
I love this! It's hard (at least for me) to pack such a strong message in so few lines, but you did it extremely well. *hands gold star*
A gold star. My sentiments exactly. Well done!
--Anna
i really really like this poem, you know. I mean, despite its length or rather lack thereof, you really made it work. I don't think it would need to be any longer, because it seems that you fit everything you meant to say in these eigth lines, and you did it very well.
I must admit, however, that the second stanza seems better than the first. The first just doesn't flow as nicely, plus there seems to be a mistake, at least I think so.
"That silver 'scrapers grand"
well, i think it should be "those silver 'scrapers grand", just simple number agreement that you seem to have missed. And then, I can't say I like the use of the word "or" in the fourth line of the first stanza, but then again, I myself can't think of another way to put it, i just don't think it sounds quite right.
The second stanza was fantabulous, though. So true, and all though you didn't go into terrible detail about all the beauty of God's creation, (which could have taken quite a while), you summed it up nicely, and consicely.
"But what are they compared to pines...?" That was my favorite part. Immediately I got a picture in my mind, so even just one word - pines - is great imagery the way you used it.
So yea, great peice, i really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the great read!