Published June 19, 2011
A/N: I dedicate this poem to the members of 'Gay Writers/Supporters. Its about how i wish people would respect the gay society, even though they are abit different, it shouldnt chnage the fact they are pepole too.
Why should I be afraid, to be who I am?
Why should I be sad?
Why should I be afraid to do what I want?
Why should I feel bad?
Why should I be worried,
Just because I like girls?
Why should He be worried,
'Cause boys give him the twirls?
Why should we be scared,
Of who we really are?
Why should we stay behind,
While others will go far?
Why don’t we have a reason to shine?
To let our lights be dimmed?
Why should we be made to feel,
Like we have gone and sinned?
Why are people so freaked,
When we just be who we are?
Why should we be treated differently,
Were all still a shining star!
Why should we not stand for,
Our feelings for the same gender?
For we are still people,
Not robots with bent fenders!
So just STOP teasing us,
STOP with the name calling.
STOP pushing us over
And watching while we are falling!
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141,293 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
This poem was pretty good, I s'pose. I liked the rhyme and lack thereof. However, I wonder, exactly what you were trying to get across.
Explanation? The topic of your poem may be Gay Treatment/Rights. But as to how you get that across, there's a hundred and one possibilities. But I see you've posted this in the Lyrical Poems section and there's something about this section that's almost like a condition that may be found in your poem, or a quality exhibited by your piece. Powerful emotion.
Yes, the subtext sounds rather general, but if you look at the great poems that come out of this section you'll see what I mean. Here's one and Another.
Now, it's not my intention to compare your poem to any of these as much as it is just to show you what I think would help for you to pay attention to. Emotion.
I see this is something you *do* feel strongly about but remember that in poetry, there are methods and techniques you can use to express that poetry. Imagery, for one. Figures of speech like metaphors and oxymorons in the use of your poem and throughout. There's rhythm, that could be employed, where your poem has a certain speed to it to capture the motion. Or you could throw them out the window and freestyle. Whichever you choose it should be thought out carefully nonetheless and you should choose a style that will strengthen the poem, and not a poem to strengthen the writing.
Regards,
If you have any questions or complaints about my first review in a while please PM me,
TheNewHero
Really good poem. The only thing to work on is maybe the grammar a bit, for instance
You would say "are who we are", and we're all still shining stars. Other than that, I really liked the theme and message.
This is a good poem. I like the ending. You showed emotions through your poem.
Nice job! I loved the message this poem sent about LGBT! It had a good voice that sounded almost powerful and gave me chills at times. There were a few grammar errors and I would take a little look-see at the overall structure/organization of the poem. All in all, I enjoyed reading this poem, good work, and I hope you keep writing about LGBT!