Published June 14, 2011
Every minute without you is torture for me .
What are we to do?
To be in love without the touch of the other?
To not be able to express our love in anything other then typed words on a screen.
What are we to do when we cant see eye to eye, or hear each others voices.
The longing loneliness will keep growing until the pain leaves me doubled over. What am i supposed to do?
Do I just stand there, crying, as all feeling drains from my body?
How am I suppose to endure this ever lasting torture without you?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I can definitely relate to this poem, being in a relationship like that for 5 years. I really did like it, but I feel its missing something. You have the what is going on but wheres the why? Why can't you talk on the phone or see each other? You just left me with a lot of questions. PM if you have any questions!
- Boo
Thanks, and I give my apologies about the grammer.
Black Ink x.
Just to start out with, critique-wise, I just want to say that I was scared of this poem when I first looked at it, and others will be too if you don't do something about it. Even though it's not a long poem the lines themselves are long enough that it still makes an overwhelmingly huge block of text. Perhaps add some line breaks, or chop it into stanzas.
I really liked the emotion of this poem. Oookay, that didn't sound like I wanted to, so I will rephrase that; You did an amazing job expressing the emotion and I liked the way you described it. That's better. Awesome, I liked this one.