We call him Mr.Teach
Since he enjoys this more than the beach!
Tries to make us remember by acting like a leech!
If you were to sit here, me the teacher; you the student
I would blow your mind up like an explosion in a beaker
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Cute poem bibi; I liked the rhyme scheme. Although I feel you may have left out a few words in some lines, it is orginal and funny. For example, in the 3rd line, I would of added what it is you don't want to know anymore (this, him...). In line 6 its missing (a, this, or something else). Other than that, this was a nice poem. Nice work, keep writing. Hurtado
AHHH BOLD! THAT'S LIKE ME WRITING THIS ENTIRE REVIEW IN CAPS.
So overall, I feel like the poem needs less rhyming and less caps too. You don't need Pass capitalized, or Bore or Snore for that matter. The second stanza is better than the first. I feel like you finally got out of being bored and actually began to start talking about how to improve things. Still, I don't want to be bored. Try making chemistry fun for us as a reader, like describe your imagination of blowing up the beaker, which does need a determiner I feel, and what chemicals you could use to do it, or that type of thing. That would really give some spice to your poem.
Also, try not to re-use words in a poem this short. Beaker was already used in a beaker glass, which doesn't need caps, so using it at the end of the second stanza also, makes it seem redundant. Personally, I would hack off the top of this poem and just leave it as the second stanza. You've got interesting wording calling the teacher a leech, and although the rhyming is kind of obvious throughout the poem, I think that's alright for now.
Again this is a simple poem I made IN CLASS, I did not write this poem in reference to the rules. I made it neither to make chemistry boring nor fun it was simply something I did to let my feelings out for the moment. And I put some words in caps to POINT THEM OUT PURPOSELY.
Nice work!
I am giving a review:
The poem has a nice pattern and goes along really well. It is quite a humorous work that I enjoyed much.
The only lacking thing I see is the punctuation. Otherwise, the poem is good.
The rhyming scheme is well-employed. It reminded me of my first poem I wrote last year about school. It contained such stuff. I think you are a beginner to poetry. Don't worry, just keep writing like me
Hope it helps...
Well thank you for the positive feedback but Like I explained to Aley, this is a simple poem I made IN CLASS, I did not write this poem in reference to the rules. And if you want me to "keep writing like you" then send me an example of your poetic work, would love it learn from it
that made my day.
I'm glad my poem made your day, a boring 1 hour chemistry lecture & I came up with this. He almost read it & I had to hide it xD