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Monsoon!!

by Bhaavya Singh


Lighting strikes, thunder roars

Drizzling is turned into heavy downpours

Wet roads and muddy paths, 

Indicates that the monsoon starts. 

Take out your umbrellas and boots

After scorching summers, now the wind is cool. 

Trees are estatic, for now everywhere its green

Everyone is delighted and so the nature beams. 

The season of love is here

There is only joy, no fear. 

Beauty is again alight

Blissful, and even more bright. 

The vibrant flowers bloom with pride

Nature is adorned, as elegant as a bride. 

Vivid rainbows can be seen

In monsoon, Mother Earth gleams. 


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212 Reviews


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Reviews: 212

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Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:41 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



Hello! It is I, your friendly neighborhood Horisun, here for a review!
This poem is really great! The flow is awesome, the word choice, on point, and the metaphors, amazing! I did see some places where (I think) there are missing commas, like after "Vivid rainbows can be seen" and "Beauty is again alight"

Other than that, this poem is really great! :) I'll leave you like! Keep on writing, and have a great day!






Thanks:)



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Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:38 pm
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello! FlamingPhoenix here with a short review here to tell you what I thought of your poem, and to help get your work out the green room.

Okay let's begin.

So as far as I could see I couldn't see anything wrong with your work. So I'm going to tell what I love about your poem. So I thought the flow was really good, it went really well with what the poem was about. This calm feeling came over me as I read, it was really relaxing.
Now I want to talk about what your poem was about, as I read it I saw large thunderclouds rolling in and removing the warm summer sun, I can't really explain it, it was just really good.
I loved that you used descriptive words, it just made the poem for me. With words describing the image you want us to see that just made it come to life, it was amazing and I loved everything.
Also I love the choice of name for this poem, it really did catch my attention when I was looking for something to read. And I'm glad I stopped by and read your work!

Anyway as you can tell this poem was amazing and I loved reading it, and I'm also glad I got to be one of the lucky people to review this too. I do hope you will write again and post it on YWS soon, because I will be keeping a look out for more of your poems, they are just amazing. I hope you have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion!






A fiery thank you @FlamingPhoenix.





No problem!





No problem!



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11 Reviews


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Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:01 am
riancarthy wrote a review...



Hey !!

This poem is very nice and i loved it just a small mistake or improvement would be the rhyming bits. I loved the opening like @Awru but i wish the poem had more rhymes. If it all rhymed it would sound even better than it already does! As i started reading it,
'Lightning strikes, thunder roars'
'Drizzling is turned into heavy downpours'
Had me hooked, but then when the rhyming sort of stopped, I found myself looking for rhyming parts.

Aside from that, i really did enjoy that and i loved it. The exclamation marks in the title actually really attracted me, if it was just, 'Monsoon' i still would've clicked onto it, but i wouldn't have been as attracted as i was with 'Monsoon!!'

All in all, it is a very nice poem and i thoroughly enjoyed it! Keep up the good work and all the very best @Bhavvya Singh


-@riancarthy






Thanks, I would be taking care of my mistakes from next time.



riancarthy says...


No prob it was amazing !!



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61 Reviews


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Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:03 am
Awru wrote a review...



Hallu!!Awru here to rescue your poem from the inclement green room. I will start by saying this poem was super and i really enjoyed reading it. Your descriptions were quite good. However since the whole poem is supposed to be in this rhyming flow at some parts the flow did not went too well and the verses seemed a bit off key. But overall it was simple and smooth. Its one of those poems whose beauty lies in their simplicity. Not too strong,complicated words are used and simple rhymes do feel really nice

Lighting strikes, thunder roars

Drizzling is turned into heavy downpours

Thats a very good opening stanza . I love it.
Wet roads and muddy paths,

Indicates that the monsoon starts.

The second verse though. The grammar is a tad weird here.There should have been use of has or have in it but then again it won't rhyme and you will probably have to replace the whole stanza.
Take out your umbrellas and boots

After scorching summers, now wind is cool.

It should have been Now the wind is Cool
Trees are happy, now everywhere its green

Everyone is delighted, the nature beams.

How bout
Trees are ecstatic for now everywhere its green
Everyone is delighted and so the nature beams

You don't have to take it if you don't like it. Yours is fine too but the use of rich vocabulary is always appreciated. It gives a certain charm to the overall impression
Other then that its Nice

Keep It Up :smt023

peace out






Thanks awru, for your praise and especially the valuable suggestions and advice.



Awru says...


My pleasure :D




"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites