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Blue

by BetsyJ


Our souls are

a secret sweep of

Blue --

blue-glazed puddles

glossed with sky.

Ghostlike and hazy

like the swell of smoke.

The bite of winter.

Blue

is the curling wisps of

Mystery.

Magic.

Melancholy.

wafting into our

world from

somewhere else.

Blue

is lungfuls of mist-air:

crisp and cool,

ribboned with

the earth's quick,

and the rain's damp.

Blue

is the hushed whisper

of angels, maybe?

tasting of clouds.

And halos.

And glory.


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75 Reviews


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Thu Sep 30, 2021 3:10 pm
SadboyJay wrote a review...



Hey jay here to leave a review here from your lovely poem called blue

lets get to it

First when i read this poem i know it came in to your mind to make a poem like this it yeah us people we use our feelings to make in a poem yeah thats us who writes our poems but blue was actually good my good part from it was Blue

is the hushed whisper

of angels, maybe?

tasting of clouds.

And halos.

And glory. like you did your best and put your effort in to this poem i love it it was the best thing we forever gotten

Second my compliment with your poem is just keep doing better with your good mind of making good poems in you use your brain as well to help you inspire the people out there that really loves you


third how you could of inprove was the words that you had forgotten in the poem was like ummm well the ocean is blue blah blah blah whatever you could of thought of something along with that



keep writing and this was a amazing poem called blue!!




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Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:49 pm
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Phillauthet wrote a review...



Hi! I'm here for a review.

I love this poem! Blue is probably my favourite colour, and I'm glad to see a poem written about it.

The hyperbole and imagery are absolutely stunning.
I think my favourite lines were

blue-glazed puddles
glossed with sky.


In these lines,
Blue
is the curling wisps of
Mystery.
Magic.
Melancholy.
wafting into our
world from
somewhere else.

I like how you've expressed blue as ethereal and otherworldly, mystical and magical, but I think that's a little too hyperbolical. It seems a little... prejudiced, if I may say so.

But this part:
Blue
is the hushed whisper
of angels, maybe?
tasting of clouds.
And halos.
And glory.

seems really good. It doesn't have that 'prejudiced' feel the other stanza had.

Maybe that's just me!

Other than that, I think the poem was great.

Keep Writing!




BetsyJ says...


Hi,
Thank you for your review:))
You've said some stanzas felt prejudiced...can you please elaborate on that?

I would say that I'm, perhaps, biased to the colour, but "prejudice" connotes that I am somehow against other colours, or am making some kind of unfair judgement based on my own assumptions. I don't think I have really done that, do you?

Also, I am unsure whether you mean hyperbole or alliteration. "Blue-glazed puddles glossed with sky" is not hyperbolic, really. Yes, it is imagery, but how do you mean that it is hyperbolic??
I have the same doubt with the other example you have quoted: "Mystery. Magic. Melancholy"

Thanks again, otherwise, for your comments.



Phillauthet says...


Sorry if my review hurt you in any way... That was just what I thought.

Yes, I meant that it sounded a little biased... I wasn't able to find the exact word "^_^

I meant the hyperbolical expressions in other places such as
'Our souls are
a secret sweep of
Blue --'
It somehow feels so... unreal. But, in a good way.

I should have added a space after that line with the hyperbole "^_^

Anyway, thank you for pointing those out! It really helps me in writing better and more precise reviews!



Phillauthet says...


Hey, I just learnt from you're wall that you're Tamil. I'm a Tamilian too! Welcome to the club!! (which, as far as I know, consists of only us.)



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Thu Sep 09, 2021 9:57 pm
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abigaileigh wrote a review...



Wow, if blue wasn’t already my favorite color you would have convinced me. This imagery is amazing, and your metaphors are so creative. My favorite line is definitely
“ ribboned with
the earth's quick,
and the rain's damp. “
It really stuck out to me. I also loved your use of italics, it really makes the poem feel flowy and deep visually as well as when you read it or hear it. Great work!!




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Thu Sep 09, 2021 12:51 pm
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waywardxwallflower wrote a review...



Hello! Wallflower here with a quick review (:

Firstly, the main thing that really stuck out to me about this poem was how vivid your imagery is. Throughout the poem, I found myself visualizing and falling into the scenes you described.

Along with this, your myriad ways to view the colour blue is incredibly creative; a lovely idea that was also very well-executed.

"...blue-glazed puddles/glossed with sky." These couple of lines were so incredibly unique and vivid; I could really see your individual writing style here. I've never seen another poem describe puddles quite like this.

Overall, your writing style, ideas, and imagery are all lovely! This poem is a fantastic and fascinating weaving-together of these to create a beautiful, personal, and incredibly unique work of art.

Keep writing!!




BetsyJ says...


Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!



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Wed Sep 08, 2021 10:24 am
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LizzyTyler wrote a review...



Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your respective time zone. Anyway, onto the review. This was an interesting poem! I love how you connected the color to all these different things.

The only things I might change, would be the last two lines the seem a bit off. Maybe make them more like “Of halos./Of glory”. This is just me nit picking, please feel free to ignore me. :D

blue-glazed puddles
glossed with sky.


I think this was my favorite line. All of the lines were very beautiful, but this one stood out to me for some reason. It was just so vivid, using words I’d never even think of using to describe the color blue. I really enjoyed you poem, and I hope to see more of your work around soon! Stay safe, and keep writing!

-Lizzy




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Tue Sep 07, 2021 10:59 pm
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TrinityPoeting wrote a review...



hello BetsyJ! Nicole here with a short review.


first impressions: wow, I love the description of the color! that is such a great idea for a poem. it really makes you think of the color blue in such a different way. i like the way you described it here:

''Ghostlike and hazy

like the swell of smoke.

The bite of winter.

Blue

is the curling wisps of

Mystery.

Magic.

Melancholy.''


I like the way you described it as ''mystery, magic''

things to improve: there's not much I could find to fix. it's good grammar and spelling wise.


overview: I thought this was a great poem!

keep writing!

-nicole




BetsyJ says...


Thank you for your review! Glad you enjoyed the poem.



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Tue Sep 07, 2021 8:47 pm
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Seirre wrote a review...



Hi there Betsy! I really enjoyed reading this poem, so I thought I'd stop by with a review for you :)

My immediate impression of this poem is that it is chock-full of gorgeous imagery. It opens up with the beautifully alliterative phrase "Our souls are / a secret sweep of / Blue--", and the images just get even better from there! I love how there's a variety of images, ie the poem touches puddles and smoke and angles, but everything is still held together really well by the overriding theme of blue-ness. If I had to pick a favourite part, I think it would be

Blue

is the curling wisps of

Mystery.

Magic.

Melancholy.


wafting into our

world from

somewhere else.

Because it's such a striking, wistful description. All of the imagery in this poem is *chef's kiss*, though!

I thought the repetition of "Blue" on its own line also worked really well! It did make me notice that there aren't any stanzas in this poem, and personally I think this poem would work well with some stanzas, either before or after each occurrence of a "Blue" line.
Before each "Blue" line:
Spoiler! :
Our souls are

a secret sweep of



Blue --

blue-glazed puddles

glossed with sky.

Ghostlike and hazy

like the swell of smoke.

The bite of winter.



Blue

is the curling wisps of

Mystery.

Magic.

Melancholy.

wafting into our

world from

somewhere else.



Blue

is lungfuls of mist-air:

crisp and cool,

ribboned with

the earth's quick,

and the rain's damp.



Blue

is the hushed whisper

of angels, maybe?

tasting of clouds.

And halos.

And glory.

Or, after each "Blue" line:
Spoiler! :
Our souls are

a secret sweep of

Blue --



blue-glazed puddles

glossed with sky.

Ghostlike and hazy

like the swell of smoke.

The bite of winter.

Blue



is the curling wisps of

Mystery.

Magic.

Melancholy.

wafting into our

world from

somewhere else.

Blue



is lungfuls of mist-air:

crisp and cool,

ribboned with

the earth's quick,

and the rain's damp.

Blue



is the hushed whisper

of angels, maybe?

tasting of clouds.

And halos.

And glory.

The first example is probably the more "logical" choice, but I honestly really love the poetic pause after each "Blue" in the second example. Totally up to your personal taste, though! And if you prefer it without stanzas, that's perfectly valid too.

(Also, it's possible you did have stanzas planned out, but the publishing centre didn't save your formatting correctly; it does that a lot! If that's the case, you can either put a placeholder between each stanza, like "-" or "~", or you can press the space bar a couple times in the whitespace between each stanza. So if "|" represents a space, then there would be an invisible "||||" between each stanza. I hope that makes sense -- if not, let me know!)

The only real critique I have about this poem is that it doesn't really feel like it has an underlying message or point, beyond being a pretty description of the colour blue. I don't really leave the poem feeling like I've been told a story, I leave it feeling like I've seen a painting, if that makes sense. Obviously poems aren't stories, exactly, but they often have some sort of narrative. Since this is your poem, and it's up to you what it's about, I won't leave suggestions on this front, just some questions you can consider! -> Is blue a metaphor for anything? What do you want the reader to take away from the poem? What emotion do you want them to feel after finishing the poem? Does the order of images in the poem matter/ is there any sense of time or chronology in the poem?

Again, this is to some extent a preference thing, so if for you the point of the poem is to be a poetic description of blue, and that's what you want it to be, then that is 100% fair and you don't have to give it a "message"!

Overall, I adored the descriptions in this poem, and I thought your use of repetition was super effective. I also enjoyed the flow created by the short lines and punctuation -- ex the way "Mystery. Magic. Melancholy." are all on their own lines and act as their own "sentences". I can't wait to read more of your poetry in the future!! I hope this review proves useful for you, and if you have any comments/questions about anything I said, feel free to bring them up!

Keep writing!
--whatcha

Image

Banner courtesy of @ImaginativeAlice <3




BetsyJ says...


Hi Watcha! Thank you for the detailed review. Glad you enjoyed the poem. I will definitely take your points and consider them.
Yes, the poem is structured with stanzas but when I published it, they didn't appear. Thanks for telling me about how to fix it.



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Tue Sep 07, 2021 7:27 pm
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OneMageArmy wrote a review...



Damn! I've never read a poem that made me see a color differently before!
Everything you related blue to had nothing to do with color, and yet it all did feel like a shade of blue when I thought about it. I've never thought about seeing colors in such things before!
I think I've learned something here that I can put into my stories in the future for better mood.
Your poem showcased that colors can be anything, good, bad, and unusual, and that's something I haven't seen before' I'm impressed.




BetsyJ says...


Thank you! I'm thrilled you enjoyed the poem.



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Tue Sep 07, 2021 4:23 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I enjoyed this poem talking about the color blue and how it could be more than just a color.It's lovely and poetic! My favorite parts were these lines:"Blue is the curling wisps of mystery.magic.melancholy." This tells me that blue brings the feeling of beauty and so much to discover.

The color blue can bring to mind many different feelings,like calmness,guilt or sadness.Maybe even all at the same time.This poem captured that perfectly.

Great job on the poem!




BetsyJ says...


Thank you for your views. I am really glad you enjoyed reading it.




Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
— Abraham Lincoln