Young Writers Society

chapter one; old scars

Jacob wasn't one for straying from the path, he liked things to be simple. It was easier for him to focus on what is in front of him than constantly looking for more, which was ironic. I suppose he wasn't the most intelligent in the room, in terms of academia, but he was always the wisest. I think that is why, it shocked people how simple he was. He was the type of person who knew the exact steps to the bus stop down the road or how long it takes to get from A to B. He didn't like change and he liked to stick to what he knew. However, today something was different - as if he craved more, or perhaps he just craved the old. Jacob hadn't been quite sure what had led him there but he had stumbled into a small shop, five minutes or so away from the centre of Finchley. The storefront was covered in intricate details and bright paints, it was a muriel in itself. Outside, the sun was beaming down onto the windows and pavement; and the birds were singing in chorus with each other. A pastel blue filled the sky and not a white cloud was in sight. The grass and bushes and trees were a beautiful green, the flowers blossoming in shades of pinks and reds and purples and yellows and blues and every happy colour you could possibly think of.

As Jacob pushed the chipped red door open, the bell rang faintly and he was greeted with the soft hum of smooth jazz and the summer scents from the incense burning through the rooms. The shop’s interior was just as quirky as the exterior: fairy lights were lining the ceiling and large bohemian tapestries draped across the walls; the shelves and rails were roughly coated with bright yellows, reds, greens, blues, oranges, greens and as many shades and tones of the rainbow; and the floor was covered with offcuts of carpet - each piece a different colour and texture. There were festival-like signs pointing to the different sections of the store, which seemed to sell everything but the kitchen sink; books, clothes and shoes, handmade jewellery, candles, decorations, skincare and beauty, records, and each thing was unique. The store was different and quirky, although he had no idea why he was there or how he got there - Jacob liked it.

An elder lady was browsing the classic book section. her hair a bright pink and her wrinkled hand clasped over a first edition copy of the Great Gatsby. There were several employees: one was sat at the till, a few restocking and placing things in the right section, one cleaning the worn down building and several assisting numerous customers. Jacob stood behind one of the clothing racks, taking everything in, his eyes drawn to a woman as she walked over to the pink-haired lady,

“It is such a beautiful book, isn't it?” The woman smiled, her voice soft and inviting with a gentle Welsh lilt. Much like the store, she was dressed in a boho, hippie fashion. Her ash hair was left in surfer like waves by her sides, with a feather and several braids dotted around her head. She was wearing a fitted black crop-top and a pair of green palazzo trousers. Her top exposed her torso, showing off her tanned olive skin and the navel piercing on her stomach - enhancing her muscles and abs. Her ears were accompanied with dream catcher earrings and many other intricate jewellery, in various places of her cartilage, as well as a silver hoop in her nose. “I remember when my mum bought it for me when I was fifteen. It got me into writing and now I’m about to publish again, crazy isn't it?” She smiled again. “If you need anything let one of my team know, we’ll be happy to help.”

“She is absolutely stunning isn't she?” Jacob was startled as a girl, who was no more than eighteen, crept up behind him. “But she has a boyfriend and he is literally gorgeous but then he is a bit of a dick and then there was always the one guy she was in love with before and I’m rambling. Lily.” The young girl smiled, extending a hand out as she turned and pushed her glasses off her head and back over her eyes. She was wearing a white cropped gypsy top and a pair of patterned palazzo pants with a pair of black heels. Her fawn brown hair had been thrown into a messy bun above her head, with a few strands pulled down in front of her face - one getting caught on the hoop in her nose and others on her various earrings.

“Jacob,” He chuckled, shaking her hand. “Do you work here or something?” Jacob smiled at the girl, his voice thick with Irish charm that stole the hearts of many. Lily looked up at Jacob as she vigorously typed away on her phone, chuckling slightly.

“Sorry, tweeting - got to keep my fans happy. Technically no but Seren is like my inspiration in life, I come to her writing workshops and I do a load of social-media influencing and modelling so I promote some of the clothes and stuff they have here but I mainly just stalk her.” Lily joked, looking at Jacob closer. He was 6’3 and muscular, his physique highlighted by the tight-fitting grey long sleeve t-shirt and black skinny jeans. His hair was a light black and pushed above his head in a quiff and his defined face was accompanied with a light stubble from missing a week’s shave. “You really don't fit in here...” Lily paused for a second, thinking.

“I don’t, you are right. I’m just getting to know the area and wanted to get my girlfriend a present. A book or something but I don't know anything about books.” He hadn't lied to Lily, he had told Sophie that he would get her a present, perhaps it wasn't a book or anything that would be in the shop (Nova) but he needed some excuse for why he was stood aimlessly in the corner.

“You should've said Jacob because it just so happens that I’ve applied to be the new literature assistant, aren't you lucky?” Lily smiled, beckoning Jacob to follow her. “So give me something to work with, what does she like to read? Christian Grey kinky shit, teary lovey-lovey romance crap or like a zombie horror action, ooh that would be fun?” Lily chuckled at herself, “I’m sure that I will be able to pick her something out, and I succeed you have to come back and tell Seren to give me the job. Deal? Deal.”

Jacob shook his head, laughing with Lily. “Romance crap, I think. Trust me she aint in to that kinky stuff, unfortunately.” Jacob winked at Lily who was rolling her eyes, as if to say that crude jokes were trademarked to her. Jacob watched her as she ran her fingers across the spines of several books, on a red bookcase beside him. She shook her head before moving onto a yellow shelf.

“This is the book for her but I’m not really supposed to sell it, well actually I’m not really supposed to sell you anything. It’s a new book so I doubt that she’ll have a copy.” She smiled, passing it to him. “It’s about this girl who gets her heartbroken and then ends up in a shitty ass relationship. It is like her journey and how she copes - all that jazz, she’ll probably cry but she won't put it down. I can gift wrap it and write like a cute personalised message, for about two quid extra. I mean I am proving myself so no favours, sorry.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good.” Jacob glanced down at the cover, a rose shedding a flower onto a white background. His smile faded to a slight frown as he read the title, “A million things I should say - by Seren Thomas...”. Jacob held the book, his hand shaking gently, and flickered through the pages - occasionally, pausing to read pieces of from various chapters:

Sophie loved culture and learning about different walks of life, she likes to see how others behaved and acted. This had been influenced by her love for literature and one of her favourite authors had once said, ‘to write you must watch and observe. You must see life through the eye of others...’. So often, she found herself watching those who pass her by or were visible from a nearby window. Today, as she walked towards the shop, was no different. Her eyes drifted across the streets and through windows. She found it difficult to explain to others and sometimes she disliked her habit. Often she’d catch a glimpse of old friends and see them happy without her but other days she would witness humanity at it’s best. Sophie smiled, remembering watching a man propose to his partner. Times had changed so much since then (and her life had too) but she couldn't help but think about how the two people were. Sophie wondered whether they got married in the end and had children and lived in a big house and led a perfect life. She wondered if they were happy. People watching, if that is what you want to call it, taught Sophie that nothing is ever really as it seems and if you pay enough attention you can see the changes, that no one else notices. If you remember those you have seen, you may even catch them with others. That was what hurt the most. She saw cheating, witness it but she didn't know them. She couldn't help and that hurt. All Sophie ever wanted to do was help others and to please but she couldn't. She felt helpless.

“Ethan, look!” She smiled, pointing to the couple not the other side of the river. They looked so happy, as they smiled and laughed. You could see it in their eyes, their love for one another. It was infectious, the passion. Sophie looked up at Ethan, watching him as he focused on the couple. The man got down on one knee and shouted as loud as he could 'I love you so much and I want the world to know it, so will you marry me?'. The woman had giggled continuously, he slipped the ring onto her finger - the wrong finger at first, which caused even more laughter- and they kissed. They kissed as if nobody in the world existed apart from the two of them. Their love was pure and it was refreshing. It was refreshing to see but Sophie couldn't help but mutter,

“Josh would have loved to see this.” It was quiet enough to be inaudible but she knew that Ethan had noticed her behaviour. Sophie had seemed to form a frown that he could not shift at it was at that moment, she hated herself. She wished she had pressed send but most of all she wished he had never met Ethan. He made her forget and she didn't want to forget. It was the last thing she ever wanted to happen.

Lily smiled as Jacob furrowed his brow, “What do you want the message to say?” She had walked over to a small section of the room - The Writers’ Corner - and pulled out a small square of card and a pot of ink, gently dipping her pen into the liquid.

“ ‘Jo, I hope you enjoy exploring London and that you are as excited about the move as I am. I cannot wait to start this new adventure with you - with love, Jacob.” He responded, half of his mind in the room and the rest still engrossed in the book.

Josh had meant more to her than just an ex. He was, after all, her fiancé. He was her first true love and Sophie had always worried that he was the one. Josh had been there through everything, he had seen her at rock bottom and seen her at her very best. He was always there and then one day he wasn’t. She had told Ethan that because it was three years ago, it was in the past and she was more scared of having to move than seeing him. But... But he moved to where she grew up and Sophie had always wondered whether there was more to it. Not that it was just a good move for his career. Three years was a very long time not to see someone. She knew she had moved on and she loved Ethan with the entirety of her heart but the thought of being faced to face with Josh scared her. It made her realise that she never dealt with how she felt, she just locked it away and didn't think twice about it - about him. Sophie didn't suppose she would know how she felt until she had to stand in front go him; to watch him with his new supermodel girlfriend and to see him live his life without her. It scared her and it scared Ethan too. Sophie was Ethan’s true love and he knew that she would always love him less than he loved her. That hurt the both of them and maybe Sophie should tell him that she was scared of him but that frightened her more than her feelings did.

“Lily do you know anything about this book, like whether it is based on real life or just pure fiction?” Jacob could feel his heart racing as he placed the copy back down on her desk. It was strange to think that Seren was a published author, it had was her lifelong dream, but it was strange to think that her book felt so familiar. It was as if he had lived through what she was writing about, and maybe she had based it upon their romance or maybe it was just a coincidence. He couldn't be sure.

“I mean, I’m not 100% sure. I haven't really had that much of a chance to ask Seren about it - but she is due back here in like...” Lily smiled as she glanced at her phone to check the time, “five minutes ago. She popped out to see her heartthrob boyfriend, Elliot, and go to the gym - usually takes about an hour and a half and she left just after you got here so yeah she should be back.” Jacob nodded, realising how long he had been browsing the shop and chatting to Lily about everything and nothing. “But Seren will know, I mean after all she wrote -”

“What would I know?” The door flew open and Seren waltzed in, her arms filled with various boxes - which she had picked up from the publishers on the way back to the shop. She placed them in the adjacent room, brushing past Jacob. “Sorry that it took me so long to get her Lily - you wanted to talk more about the job, didn't you? Elliot had to talk to me about some stuff with work, and the fact that an old-” Seren paused for a moment, “an old friend is moving to London and will be working with Elliot. Then I had to go to the publishers, oh and then I ran into Chelsea - y’know the woman who owns the coffee shop down the road and she has already finished the book which is incredible. It came out, what yesterday? Anyway, I am here now. What did you want me to find out?” She eventually emerged from the side room and looked up at the customer, she had pushed past. “Jacob...”

Seren had been sat at the table, outside Joe’s (a small coffee shop in Dublin), for an hour or so - letting the scorching sun bronze her already tanned skin. She smiled to herself, taking a sip from the large mug in front of her. Amelia had been due to meet her half an hour ago but in true Murray form, she still hadn't arrived yet. Seren didn't mind that much, she hadn't had time to take in Dublin within the year and a half she’d been living in Ireland - so it was nice to just enjoy the city. They were due to meet before heading off to the student library, to complete their coursework but Amelia was probably stuck in traffic or still deciding what to wear. Seren took the time to enjoy the peace and closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the unusual heat.

Jacob was stood across the river bank and smiled as he watched her bathe in the sun. It was strange that he had seen her so often and she had never even glanced at her. He had heard so much about her and he, above anything, was intrigued about this foreign export that his sister had befriended. Jacob took a breath in and walked across the bridge, towards Joe’s. He had visited the cafe every Sunday morning, he thought to himself that perhaps that was the reason Amelia convinced him to meet Seren there - to make the moment more significant; memorable in the long run - in case it amounted to more than an embarrassing set up date, that she had no idea about. Jacob could hope. Believe and you will receive, he chuckled at his own thoughts before taking a seat next to Seren - who had quickly got lost in the landscape around her.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” He smiled as she jumped slightly, surprised to see someone next to her. She bit her lip, examining the figure that had joined her. “Best part of Dublin, nothing can beat it. Seren, right?” Jacob’s accent was lilted with the Irish charm (that was noticeable against the thoughts in Seren’s head, which were still strong in Welsh dialect and accents).

“Yeah, it’s lush. I think it comes to a close second to home, nothing beats Wales. Nothing. I mean except for a lot of sporting teams but nobody is perfect-” They both chuckled, smiling. “You’re Jacob, aren't you? Amelia told me she was going to set us up but I didn't think she would make me come into the city for an entire week.” Seren rolled her eyes slightly,

“Oh she dragged me here too, but don't worry love; I am sure we can find something to join this city for the week. You know Dublin, the city of love-”

Seren spat some of her drink out as she tried to control her laughter, “The city of love and Dublin are two place names that I never thought would be used to describe the same city, ever. But I suppose we will see how much love it gives, won't we?” She smiled looking into his eyes, she felt at ease around him - even if they had known each other for just a few moments.

Seren walked towards Jacob and stumbled in her heels, falling into him. Her hand on his chest but she hesitated to move it - even when she realised it was there. She could feel his heart beating faster and faster, hers was too. They were stunned into paralysation. “How are you? How've you been? You and Jo are okay?”

“Seren,” He took a deep breath in and held it for several moments before exhaling heavily. Jacob looked her and felt compelled to brush the strands of hair out of her face, sending shivers through both of their bodies as their skin was reunited with each other. “I am good, yeah I’m good. How are you?”

Seren had noticed that he had dodged the question regarding his relationship, it was nothing she thought. It was probably because she no right to ask or he didn't want to tell his ex-fiancé about his new life. People just didn't do that, “I am alright, I guess. Yeah, I’m alright.” She paused for what felt like forever and took in his features. He had changed slightly since she had last seen him in person, his skin was tired and had aged slightly but he had physically become stronger - she struggled not to notice how good he looked. She focused on what she had missed about him and couldn't help but notice the glimmer of blue in his deep green eyes. Jacob looked so similar but felt so different, it was like when the Thai lady would try to sell her a gift for more expensive than that stall next to her at the market - ‘same, same but different’. Seren struggled to explain it any other way,

“Um... I wanted to tell you and I mean while you’re here and all. I got an offer, a really good offer, from the Cobras - I seriously couldn't refuse, I would've been stupid to. So anyway, it means we (Jo and I) will be moving here and I’ll be playing with... Elliot? I just wanted to tell you. I don't want you to think that I’m intruding-”

“I know, Elliot told me. Don't be stupid, it is fine. Honestly it is.” Seren cut Jacob off, staring into his eyes - as he continued to stare down into hers. She couldn't help but fall back into old habits, into what she knew. Yet, she couldn't help think about everything that was wrong between them but over anything - she couldn't help but think about how she lied to Elliot about how she felt about it all.

London was home to amazing places and five minutes away from the bookshop, ‘Jackson View Diner’ was wedged between high-end clothing stores and it had to be on the list of amazing places London had to offer. It was the perfect combination of a classic American Diner and a classy urban restaurant. There were booths marking the perimeter and a retro jukebox stood at one end of the room on a checkered black and white floor; while the main area was filled with large tables and a stage where classical music was played. It was a strange combination but it seemed to work and although beaten down the Diner was still standing, just. The room was filled with a gentle buzz, as the groups of voices and noises from the till and the music from the jukebox and strings duet and the faint crashed from the kitchen all began to blend together. The noise outside had drifted in through the adjacent door and the few windows, which had been wedged open to let the warm spring air through, but one of the customers seemed oblivious to it all. She sat in the booth farthest from the door, and with a book in hand, sipped her coffee. The girl was so engrossed in her book that, even when a man sat across from her, she didn't look up. She didn't look up, even when the waitress dropped the contents of table nineteen’s order - onto the tiled floor by the kitchen. Her left hand was wrapped around the spine of the book, her ring finger left indented with a faint tan line, whilst her right thumb and index finger were poised on the corner of the page ready to flick to the next part of her book.

The man that had sat down opposite was dressed in a tight fitting top and rugby shorts that were all branded with the logo of the nearest professional club - the Cobras (based in NW4). His skin was heavily tattooed and his usual brown quiff had fallen over his forehead, presumably from the intense training session he had come from. He sat watching her for several minutes as she continued to read. He glanced at the cover, trying to take a glimpse at the title. The man reached a hand across the table and gently tapped the woman’s wrist.

“I love you, you know that? Like crazy amounts and I wouldn't let anyone change that.” His smile widened, as she looked up and slid the book into her gym bag. Elliot hesitated for a moment before attempting to compose a sentence. “I, I... Uh. I was going to tell you later but um, so you know that Richie moved to France and the club is now looking for a new winger or back three player? Well they have decided to sign... Jacob Murray.” Seren looked at him for a minute, taking in his features - as if she hadn't seen him in years. The way his blue eyes seemed to change colours in different lighting; how one brow was slightly higher and more arched than the other; the way he bit his lip, whenever he was agitated or nervous, and how he still looked at her with love and compassion; after everything,

“Elliot,” She chuckled, “why do you look so worried?” Seren smiled as if to lighten the mood. Elliot relaxed and rested his hand over her own. “I love you too, Elliot and Jacob bloody Murray isn't going to change that. I promise...”

“I love you. I know how much he meant to you and I know that he hurt you. I know what he did, and I just don't want the past to ruin our future...”

-

“Are you serious?” She exclaimed, her voice breaking and her tears string her red cheeks. Her makeup was smudged and her hair knotted from the constant run of her fingers through the strands. “I loved you, I have always loved you and I am always going to love you. Since the fucking day we met to the day I die and I never wanted any of this. I never asked for one bit of this to happen to me, to us, but it did Jacob. It sucks but it happened. You are the one who has done all of this, not me. You aren't the person I fell in love with if you think that even one bit of me wants to leave.”

“Then don't leave, Ser! Stay and be with me. We can sort this out. We can finish the wedding plans and have a family. Me and you Ser, against the world. I need you-” Jacob reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back towards him. Their bodies just inches apart, they stopped for a moment. Their breathing slowed and they looked at each other. Their eyes began to fixate on each other. Maybe it was just a mistake, maybe it would never happen again but how... How could she know? Was there a way she could be certain that he wasn't lying, to trust him again? She could never be sure and that broke her. She believed in fate and happy ever afters, so what if he was the one and she left? It only lasted a second...

“I can’t Murr, I just cannot stay here - not in this house, not with you, not even in this city. I need to leave. I need to get out.” She sighed heavily, shaking her head and looking at the floor. “I was so young when I met you, so young when I fell in love with you. I spent six years on you, on us, and you betrayed me. You looked at that girl and you touched her, you kissed her and you slept with her and I... I cannot live with that, I just can’t. I am sorry Murr...” Seren looked away, picking up her keys and her bag. “I have to go, it’s for the best but please don't think I don't love you Jacob Murray because I do. I just cannot live with you, not anymore. I have to go.” She turned away and walked out the door. She got in her car and drove. She drove to the ferry port and got the first boat to Holyhead and from their she kept going. Seren sped past her childhood and kept going until she couldn't anymore. London could be good, she thought, as pulled up outside a hotel. Change is good.

-

“It was three and a half years ago, that is in the past for me at least. He moved to my hometown and to London for his own reasons. I am not going to let what happened, between Jacob and I, get in the way of you; your career and us. Look, I have to go to work but we’ll talk about this when I get home?” Elliot nodded as Seren grabbed her bag and rushed out of the diner and drifted into the crowd of people on the busy London streets...

“Are you sure? It’ll be good to have you around, I have missed you. I really have.” Jacob couldn't help but smile as he spoke. It was like she was a drug and you could control your temptations for s long but when you give in, it is like nothing before. She was his Euphoria.

“I’ve missed you too in some strange way. It is weird really, isn't it?" Seren sighed slightly, shaking her head as her mind was filled with melancholy thoughts. " 'Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?' She doesn't care where he is, she cares that he is a Montague and she is a Capulet. She cares that she can't have him. She is angry that she loves the one person she is supposed to hate. Yet everyone misunderstands what she means. It takes the tragedy out of the scene. She is angry that she loves him." Seren smiled to herself, getting lost in her train of thought. "Literature stays the same but the people interpret it differently. It is like life really, like friendships and relationships. Nothing really changes, but the way we look at it does."

"You are something else, S. You are something else." Jacob chuckled as Seren hit his arm. "I know you are some literature enthusiast, I know, but you are something else." He loved that she told people things through riddles of literature and quotes of plays and novels. Jacob enjoyed working out what she was saying, he always had, because whatever you think she is trying to get across is not the message she is really telling you. Seren was incredibly intelligent and she often hid that but Jacob found it attractive. She was the definition of a strong woman.

" 'My only love sprung from my only hate' Shakespeare was ahead of his time or Gnash stole his vibes." Seren smiled, closing her eyes for a second. "It is nice to be here, with you. Even if, tomorrow when we aren’t here in this moment, we go back to hating each other. It is nice, you know? Like before. It is like before..."

“Yeah, it is. Look I better go, the boys will be wondering where I got to. I’ll see you soon. Thanks, Lily for the help.” He placed the money on the desk and grabbed the box before walking out of the store without a second thought.

“Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, he turned away.” Seren wiped a tear from her eye and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath in before exhaling and turning to Lily. “The job, it’s yours. You start tomorrow at 10AM before opening at 11AM, I’ll go through everything with you then.”