Year of 2200: Ch1

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okay...well as far as a chapter one goes, I think this is a pretty solid one here. You've captured the essence of this world rather well I think and the buildup has been nice. There's enough I think to hook a reader into the story and this main character also seems likeable enough.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Take what you can, and leave nothing important behind. This is probably one of our last stops before we can restock on our way to the city."

He picked up multiple loaves of bread off the shelf, and then tossed them at the other four of us. Two of them hit me in the chest, and I had to drop my soot covered bag and crowbar to catch them. The plastic wrapping made a crinkling noise as my hands clenched them, and hit my chest.

"Now go get what you need, and meet at the store entrance in ten minutes." Tony said it as he put two loaves into his own bag, and swung it over his shoulder.

Okay..it seems we've got what appears to be the aftermath of some sort of disaster and someone who appears to be some sort of leader is giving out orders to our protagonist to be carrying out. Well, it certainly makes for a pretty intriguing start here.

I nodded, and reached for my bag, putting my own bread into it. I picked up the bag and crowbar, then turned to walk down the aisle, heading for the drinks. The market was nearly empty, because groups had been here before us, taking what they needed. I turned left, then left again, to where the drinks are. Everyone else with me must have had the same idea, because they were shoving water bottles into their bags. Grant saw me coming, then grabbed an arm full of bottles, then started tossing me them one by one. I held out the bag, opened it, and let them fall into it.

I said thanks, then turned around to look for some other stuff. Not much to see. Mostly shaving cream and toilet paper, and other stuff like that, not worthy of lugging around to survive off of. I came to the pharmacist aisle, and something caught my eye; pills, and lots of them.

Okayy...so this seems like just general looting going on here at the moment and it appears the theory of the aftermath of some disaster appears to be relatively true here. Things are slowly developing rather nicely here and hopefully this is going to pan out well for our protagonists here.

"Hey guys, we got some pills over here!" I yelled out, surprised there were even any left. I started scooping pain pill bottles into my bag, then tossed the rest to the others who came by.

I continued looking through the store, nothing much, really. I took a few kitchen knifes, though. Slipped them into my belt. Never know who's gonna pop out of a dark alley. That's why we stay in groups.

Most people are in groups so they can live their precious lives. Human's aren't that common anymore. But even when we come across the rare other group, there's usually, blood. And not just a couple drops. Most everyone fights for what the other group has, just to survive, instead of working together. It annoys me, but I don't know about everyone else. I am obviously in a group, or I'd probably be dead. Or worse, if there is one.

Well this is a nice little introduction to the general scenario surrounding this world. I think you do a great job of summarizing enough that we'd understand just how the situation in this world is without going into too much detail to make this too much of an info dump.

In the group with me were Grant, Tony, Maria, and Leroy. Grant is the all out fighter, he'll do anything to live, but he specializes in killing. He's bald, so he looks naturally tough, I guess. Tony leads us, if I were to say his role to us. I think he's cool, he doesn't particularly like to kill, but will if he has to. Maria is the only girl, and she was taught how to nurse by her mother, so she is handy at times. But Leroy, he's just there, I guess. He does a bit of everything. Wanders, scouts, kills, and he knows how to survive. But there's not a single word to sum him up.

And to make things clear, I'm Ben. I'm 17, and would be in high school, but I have learned everything from life. We've had to learn stuff the hard way, especially after the war. World War 3, they called it, but I'm no expert.

I do know they called it a nuclear war.

Well the fact that this is horrifyingly plausible in the real 2200 aside, this is a pretty good start to proceedings here. I think you capture the essence of this place rather nicely without dipping too far into the realm of narrating things. This little introductory paragraph is also fairly well done, I'm usually not too big of a fan of those, but in this scenario it seems to work out fine.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think this makes for a pretty solid start to a story here. There's enough here to make me want to turn that page and read more and I think the characters seem interesting enough for us to want to root for them. Its slightly cliche but there are hints of perhaps things being somewhat unique in a few aspects.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry