Maple Born

Ahhhh, I loved this :3 I have absolutely no nitpicks.Although your symbolism did get a little lost about the middle(especially with the whole "nurses fingers" bit) the rest of the poem was pure gold. I especially loved the last line, it was almost a little too perfect and concluded your poem with a sense of completion while still leaving me on the edge of my seat...I just can't describe it. The only thing that I might do is work on the middle a bit. Like I said you symbolism got a little lost and I started to lose interest...perhaps try to spice it up a little, of course either way it is a masterpiece of its own design.

Keep writing,

Justlittleoleme

To answer the first reviewer "Nurses fingers" Are in fact confusing and I can't think of anything that describes the healing touch of physical in relation to a tree. To answer the second reviewer It is supposed to look like a tree.

Hello and welcome to a review with ZombieSquirrel (Crowd cheers) stay as long as you like

So i'll start by saying I found this intruiging, when I glanced the title I thought "That's original" Too often good pieces are undermined by so-so titles, great to see something fresh there

"You say my worries, troubles and thoughts are scary-
You believe this because it is not personal-
But I feel it "Within" me.
In my fragile frame-
It feels I have been pierced with poison-
Slowly but surely spreading through my veins-
My heart hurts, in betrayal-
Why do I bind those I love on the pedestal-
Oh! But "this" great gale tears at me-
rips me-
reminds me of what it was like to be-Homeless and alone-
It seems though you mock me-
And maybe in deep chambers, you express care-
Outward touch that you relieve me-
From my torment, it's growing more frequently-
Absent-Healing touch of nurses fingers-
Busy on those who demand more-
But I just desire you to choose me-
As the lucky fallen leaf-
Preserved-In the beauty, I am to share with those who catch me-
Before I fall-Autumn is failing-
Spring is to desperately far-
And as the trees golden offspring-I am terrified to touch the ground-"

Hello I'm April and I'll be reviewing this today. Sorry if I'm an awful reviewer, this is my first one. So bear with me(:

"You say my worries, troubles and thoughts are scary-
You believe this because it is not personal-
But I feel it in me. In my fragile frame-
It feels I have been pierced with poison-Good job here, I love your word choice.
Slowly but surely spreading through my veins-
My heart hurts, in betrayal-
why do I bind those I love on the highest pedestal-
Oh! But the great gale tears at me-I don't know what it is, but exclaimation points always distract me, as a reader. Sorry, just a little nitpick.
rips me-
reminds me of what it was like to be-
Homeless and alone-
It seems though you mock me-
And maybe in deep chambers, you express care-
Outward touch that you relieve me-
From my torment, it's growing more frequently-
Absent-
Healing touch of nurses fingers-I don't really understand this line...
Busy on those who demand more-
But I just desire you to choose me-
As the lucky fallen leaf-
Preserved-
In the beauty, I am to share with those who catch me-
Before I fall-
Autumn is failing-
Spring is to desperately far-
And as the trees golden offspring-
I am terrified to touch the ground-"