I loved it... but the last stanza didn't seem to be as awesome as the rest of it.
And, for the sake of specific compliments...
because you know I love you more than silence.
... never change this line...
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Very beautiful and inspiring as always, Brad... even if it's on the short side.
"it still plays for you, but you get so discouraged"
I can't quite put my finger on it... but something about that line does not flow well in my head.
Maybe it's drawn out or just doesn't fit with the rest of the stanza...
But, meh, it was great. Enjoyable.
I loved it... but the last stanza didn't seem to be as awesome as the rest of it.
And, for the sake of specific compliments...
because you know I love you more than silence.
... never change this line...
The cracks in your windshield
make the street split and wind,
wind. Did you mean "wind" as in winding something up or like "wind" as in...the air? I think you meant the first "wind" as in winding but it seems like it should be the other because it just seems right...but then again, it wouldn't work with the next line. Oh well, it's your poem not mine.
Mirrors only reflect the whole to point out the holes
God! What a mouth full...I had to read it like 400 times to get it right :S. But it was still cool.
Your broken guitar still makes music,
What kind of guitar is it that you're talking about? Just out of curiousity...
I love poems about guitars--even if they suck...I guess I just feel like I can relate.
Please, don't cry and feel relief, don't
let the emotions leak, because your tears
are only an expression of despair.
*Sighs* I'm lovin' this last stanza.
Points: 1078
Reviews: 333
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