Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
(I'll put some context at the bottom of the story- Baezel)
The teacher on Lunch Duty let out a sigh when Jake and his friends walked up to where Robin was sitting.
“Oi, birdy, what’s up with your lunch?” Jake said. Three of his friends rolled their eyes while one handed money over to another, having lost a bet.
Robin swung around in his chair. “I don’t know, dirt-boy. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with my lunch?”
“I’d say it looks like dog-shit but my dog’s classier than that.”
Robin raised an eyebrow. “Then your dog’s the classiest thing in your family, and he licks his own balls.”
“I’d say every dog does, but I don’t think you’re that flexible.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Robin dared.
Despite all of his friends now having moved on, Jake made a great deal of rolling his eyes and scoffing. “Sure, if I had a camera on me at the time. I can picture it now: “Local Boy Breaks Spine Trying to Suck Peach Crayola.”
Robin tapped his chin dramatically, and hummed. “Maybe you’re right, I’m not that flexible. Looks like you’d have to get it for me, dirt-boy.”
Jake raised both eyebrows, not having been blessed with the gene to lift only one. “Fuck you, birdy, I ain’t no charity worker.”
Robin stood up, until they were nearly chest to chest. “No? I thought you gave all your money to charity- or are you just poor?”
“Wow, real smart, birdy. As if you’re any better, getting that bitch of yours to pay for everything.”
Robin quirked his head. “Joan? Why, Jake, are you jealous?”
Jake laughed. “Of you? Is the mountain jealous of the pile of shit?”
“Damn, dirt-boy, you should be a poet.” Robin leaned close. “But no, Jake, what I meant was are you jealous of Joan?”
Jake jerked his head back and made a coughing sound. “Uh? No? Why would I be jealous of Joan. Why’d I want to babysit you all the time?”
Robin sat back in his chair, a smile on his face. “I’m offended, I thought you liked spending time with me, dirt-boy.”
“I’ll show you how much I like it, birdy. You, me, after school, at the scrappy’s. I’ll pummel you.” Jake pushed his shoulders up, chin raised, and Robin laughed.
A student sitting opposite them peered at them, then at her friend, her expression scrunched into utter confusion.
“I look forward to it, then, dirt-boy," said Robin.
“What, you not going to do anything? Show off your flimsy punches in front of a crowd?” Jake quipped.
“Nah, wouldn’t want to tire you out before tonight.” Robin smirked and turned back to his food.
Jake laughed, and sauntered towards his friends. “Enjoy your dog shit,” he called back.
“Will do,” Robin replied.
The teacher arrived at Robin’s side and said in a resigned tone, “I hope you aren’t starting fights, Mr. Brown.”
Robin dug into his lunch with gusto, and didn’t bother looking up to say, “And I’d hope you’d teach something interesting someday, Mrs. Smith, but I’ve learnt better in the past three years of your bullshit.”
Mrs. Smith, who was having a very bad day, pursed her lips and walked away, shoulders bunched up.
Robin didn’t share any classes with Jake for the rest of the day, much to his disappointment, and survived double English only by texting Joan, who was lucky enough to have a free period.
Moan: Did you get into another fight?
The Brat: No
Moan: That was rhetorical
The Brat: No it wasnt. if it was then it wouldve provoked me to think
The Brat: Joan
Moan: Then why is everyone talking about you and Jake Claylands getting into a fight?
The Brat: Cause we arranger one
The Brat: arranged*
Moan: You arranged a fight.
The Brat: Thats what i just said
Moan: Why did you start a fight with Jake this time?
The Brat: Correction: I didnt start it
Moan: I sweat to god, Robin, if you don’t stop fucking around right at this minute I’ll throw all your candles and scent-y stuff in the bin.
The Brat: JOAN
The Brat: NO
The Brat: JOAN DONT OKAY ILL TALK
The Brat: Also why you sweating to god, what has He done to you?
Moan: Say bye to ‘Winter Orchid’
The Brat: FUcK ALRIGHT
The Brat: He said the homemade meal my mum made looked disgusting, then called me a dog. He also said that if he ever got them, he would publish nudes of me, which, as you know, could ruin any chances I hoped of for further education, which would honestly ruin my life. I couldn’t imagine living without the hope of furthering my knowledge.
Moan: Robin, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was that serious. You better fuck him up okay? And I swear to god, when I see him in geography, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.
The Brat: Thanks, Joan :)
The Brat: gtg now, Mr Ryce is saying something interesting
Moan: Alright, have fun :) and don’t forget to make him bleed.
Moan: Robin, Jake told me what really happened
Moan: Robin answer me
Moan: Robin I swear to god
An hour later, Robin threw his bike to the muddy ground, running up to Jake.
“Where are your cronies?” he called.
Jake saw him and grinned. “They had better things to do than waste time with shit like you.”
The October sun was already low in the sky, and the old pieces of cars and machinery cast eerie shadows.
“What? So no one gets to see your face after I’m finished with you?” Robin exclaimed in mock horror. “That's such a shame.”
Jake shrugged off his jacket. “Looks like we’re alone, unless one of your mums followed us.”
Robin followed suit, letting his jumper fall to the ground. “My mums won’t know about this until your crying so loud it echoes across the town.”
“Then how did one of them know to confront me in geography? Didn’t realise she had some bite to her. She told me a cute little tale,” Jake said.
“Yeah? And what would that be?”
The circled each other like one might in a real fight, but then Jake tripped over a gear box, and the mood was lost.
Jake righted himself, pretending to shrug. “Just a little tale about me calling you names, ruining your life, driving you to suicide.”
Robin nodded. “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard that before. Nudes, wasn’t it? Wonder how you got those.”
Jake raised his eyebrows. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Robin hummed. “Well, I wouldn’t send them to any of your friends.”
Jake stepped in closer, until a few steps would bring them to hitting distance. “And you wouldn’t send them to me.”
Robin, who did have the gene, wiggled his brows, laughing at Jakes soured expression. “The only logical conclusion is that you paid for them, right?”
“Something that worthless? Why would I throw money away like that?”
Robin hopped the final steps, close enough to punch him, but he didn’t make the first hit until saying:
“Well, that really depends. Have you found your charitable soul yet?”
Jake’s expression of surprise was wiped away with Robin’s fist. Jake yelled, “Fuck!” before slamming a hit into Robin’s shoulder.
Robin laughed and Jake looked at him in amazement. “You’re a real freak, birdy.”
“The correct term’s ‘Adrenaline Junkie’, I believe,” Robin said.
The fight continued for less than a minute; longer than usual because neither of their hearts were really in it.
It ended when Jake jabbed beneath Robin’s ribs, and he curled over. His gasps turned to laughs, stopping him from standing back up.
“That the best you got, birdy?” said Jake, pulling him up by his shirt.
Robin leaned in close to Jake, a scene so similar to the lunch hall, only now their chests were touching, and Robin hadn’t quite recovered his breath. “Maybe, Jake. Have you found your charitable soul yet?”
Jake’s face did something funny, and he coughed out, “Maybe.”
Robin blinked. “Damn, dirt-boy, I knew you were putting up a weak case.”
“Maybe I’ll just take any opportunity to fight you,” counted Jake.
“Maybe,” agreed Robin. “But didn’t you say you’ve found your charitable soul? So why don’t you let me go?”
“Why don’t I?” murmured Jake, which Robin thought was a rhetorical question.
Robin jerked his head back when Jake kissed him, a knee-jerk reaction.
Jake flushed but still managed to snap out, “What, chickening out now, birdy?”
Robin considered the past few minutes, then considered Jake, who, despite having his chin raised defiantly and hands curled into a fist, refused to meet Robin’s eyes.
“Fuck no,” laughed Robin, then pulled Jake into a considerably better kiss.
(Context: Robin is character of mine who's backstory I was fleshing out, and I was so amused by his first kiss story that I decided to write it, wasting a while of my life. He's an angry nerd, as in he looks like a thug and acts a lot like one too, but is primarily a nerd, devouring nonfiction books and watching documentaries, etc. He loves scented things like candles and insense sticks. Joan is his (only) friend who is Tired Of His Shit and sees him as a whiny brat (hence his contact name). She is rich. Jake is a character I literally just made up for the purpose of this idea.)
(In all seriousness, this isn't a good first kiss. Please don't go beating people up.)