z

Young Writers Society


Violence

Run & Hide

by Azathoth


“People move because they are scared of staying still. People underneath the boot of the world, with nothing to fear, move because of something greater than fear.” Those were the last words her grandmother had said to her before passing away. No, not passing away, before being killed. It always sat in the back of her head, wherever she went, no matter what she did, though there was nothing she had to add to it. It was just there, it simply sat and nothing more. She never completely understood it, on occasion, she thought she did but then she would think about it some more and it would be lost to her again. Even when running through the dark and damp sewers of the city she still thought about it. She wondered if she was under the boot of the world yet. Was her daughter there? She pondered this as she ran hand in hand with her daughter. Her dress was soaked in muddy liquid but she did not have the time to worry about it. Her breath was heavy and her energy was nearly depleted.

“We’ll come for you and your family.” The last words that he heard from his general before being deployed. Not the most poetic sentiment but it got the message across. It played over and over again in his head as he slowly trudged through the mud of the sewers, his boots feeling heavier as he continued. He didn’t want to mess up, he didn’t want to run. He couldn’t. Otherwise, they would come for him and his family as so promised by his higher-ups. No failure, no desertion, no fear. That’s what he wanted but all he could feel was fear and all he wanted to do was leave. He held his weapon tightly in his hands, his armour and gear pressed up against his body like it was a constrictor snake, wrapping around him. The mask on his face made a loud and deep noise whenever he breathed. He knew there was no real reason for the mask or the noise, besides fear. It was meant to put fear into the hearts of the people they were chasing. He and his comrades marched through the sewers, searching with their flashlights and weapons at the ready. Tubes stretched across their gear as if their veins were protruding from their bodies. He was scared.

The woman continued to sprint through the sickening sewage which splashed up against her legs every step she took. Her legs were tired and her body was cold, she could only imagine how her daughter felt. She started to grip the young girl’s hand tighter, fear consuming her.

“Mommy, stop, you’re hurting me!” The girl pleaded to her mother. The girl’s mother did not listen to her. She simply kept running, she didn’t want to let go of her hand. The girl looked up at the woman’s face, focused and serious. She was quite bright for a child her age and she realised that no matter what she did, no matter what she said, her mother would not listen to her.

The woman kept sprinting, it was the only thing she could focus on. Escape. She stared into the darkness ahead of her, a black abyss, with no end in sight. The grey, cold bricks of the wall were drenched in disgusting fluids and covered in rats and webs. She kept moving, for she could not stop, no matter how much she wished to. She was terrified of staying still. The fear consumed her body, taking over her senses and controlling her movements. Despite this, she still noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She pulled on her daughter's arm as she bolted past it but stopped in her tracks when she saw it. The sewer system led off in another direction, in a small tunnel in the wall. It was wet and disgusting but that didn’t bother her one bit, nothing did. The young girl let out a quiet cry of pain as her mother pulled her arm and lifted her up into the tunnel. The girl’s mother was scared, which made her terrified. The woman crawled into the tunnel with her daughter and tried to get further into the cramped space, but she couldn’t make it far. They both sat and waited, both of them scared that they were staying still.

His comrades were no comfort to him. The lone soldier couldn’t tell if they were also scared or if they were bloodthirsty. Their masks and muffled voices did not leave much room for emotion. He was surrounded by fellow soldiers, his armour was strong and his weapon was deadly but he still felt as if he could die at any moment, or worse yet, he could kill someone at any moment. His family never wanted him to be a killer and neither did he. He wanted to be a poet or an artist, not a murderer. He never wanted to be the monster that people run away from, he didn’t want to be the thing that goes bump in the night, but there he was, chasing down a family. He didn’t want to stop though, he was terrified of staying still. He looked forward, through the darkness which his bright light pierced like a blade. The dagger attached to the front of his weapon reflected the light, shining in his eyes. Once he moved the weapon out of the way, he saw something. A tunnel protruded from the side of the wall. No one else seemed to notice it, but he did. He even saw a person hiding in it, a mother and a daughter. He didn’t turn, he didn’t make a noise. The soldier couldn’t make out their faces but he knew they were scared. They continued trudging through the mud, the lone soldier was terrified, but he felt as if he had done the right thing.

The woman watched as their pursuers wandered by them, seemingly not taking any notice of them. Once they were out of sight and had faded into the darkness, she slowly dropped down into the disgusting water. The young girl’s mother reached out her hand towards her. The girl grabbed her hand and slowly began to crawl back through the tunnel. The slippery surface through her off balance and she fell out. Her mother caught her in her arms but not before she let out a loud cry of fear that echoed throughout the entire sewer system. The woman held her daughter in her arms and began to run in the direction that they had come, sprinting through the muddy water.

He heard them. That means that everyone in his squad heard them too. The worst sound anyone could hear... the scream of a child. Without hesitation, all of his comrades started to run as fast as they could in that direction. Apparently, they were not scared like him. He didn’t want to chase them, but he couldn’t stay still, so he turned and ran, holding his weapon tightly and breathing heavily.

The woman ran with her heart in her arms and it was crying in fear. Suddenly, she could see ahead of her, the darkness had faded and was exchanged for the light of a flashlight coming from behind. They had reached them. She didn’t turn back, for she knew what she would see and she kept running. She had been running for hours now and her legs could no longer take it. They gave out and she tripped down onto the ground, dropping her daughter. The soldiers gathered around her, their lights shining in her face, but she still didn’t turn. Terrified, she grabbed the young girl from beneath the water. As she did, she saw the rock on the ground and she noticed the green water slowly turn to crimson red.

Without a second thought, she got up and turned around. The woman faced the monsters, the things that go bump in the night. She stood there, her heart bleeding out in the mud behind her. She was underneath the boot of the world. She had nothing left. She had nothing to lose and nothing to fear. She didn’t stay still, but not out of fear. She started moving, not scared of a single thing that could happen to her anymore. The mother lunged forward and grabbed the soldier's weapon, trying to get it from them.

The lone soldier looked at her face, tears flowing down her cheeks. She yanked at his weapon but it did nothing, he kept holding on tightly, out of fear. He was terrified, he was scared, he didn’t want to stay still. He pushed forward against the woman, trying to get her off of him, forgetting about the sharp dagger on the front of his weapon. Suddenly, without warning or notice, the mother stopped. Her tears stopped running down her cheeks and her face became pale. She dropped to the muddy ground, the green water becoming crimson red. The mother laid next to her daughter. Everything was quiet. The lone soldier said nothing as his comrades patted him on the back and celebrated him. He walked away because he was scared of seeing what he had done. He moved out of fear.


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Mon Sep 04, 2023 8:00 pm
cookiesandcream123 wrote a review...



Heya, Azathoth!

It's been a while since I've read one of your stories, so I was happy to finally find this! :D

Similar to Mortem, this story has a mix of sadness and horror. You really have a lot of good ideas! This is veering slightly off-topic, but there's a character from a game called DDLC who likes reading horror and surrealist stories that explore the "darker sides of human nature." I didn't really know what she meant back then, but I get the vibe these stories are like that.

Now, onto the story! The ending is quite depressing, yet it makes sense. There was a flicker of hope when the soldier walked past them -- just like how in Mortem, there's that moment of relief when Hugo saved the girl -- but things plummet downhill pretty fast. Which sadly makes sense, considering how bad their situation is.

No, not passing away, before being killed. It always sat in the back of her head, wherever she went, no matter what she did, though there was nothing she had to add to it[..]
Even when running through the dark and damp sewers of the city she still thought about it.


I really like how you began the story. Instead of jumping in right away, you used the quote as a teaser, and then slowly revealed more. It kept the reader curious and guessing, but not confused.

“Mommy, stop, you’re hurting me!” The girl pleaded to her mother. The girl’s mother did not listen to her. She simply kept running, she didn’t want to let go of her hand.


Poor girl. I'm guessing the mom was too possessed by fear at this point.

She stood there, her heart bleeding out in the mud behind her.


Ahh I love the metaphor of her heart being her daughter. So heartwrenching...! I wonder if the daughter's death was the mom's fault for being careless? Maybe that was another way fear had controlled her?

His family never wanted him to be a killer and neither did he. He wanted to be a poet or an artist, not a murderer.


Even though we didn't know much about the soldier, you were able to make us sympathize with him, by talking about his family and aspirations. He felt more real this way. Very well done!

She never completely understood it, on occasion, she thought she did but then she would think about it some more and it would be lost to her again.


I noticed this run-on sentence. In the above part, I think there should be a period after "understood it", plus some commas. Like this:

She never completely understood it. On occasion, she thought she did, but then she would think about it some more and it would be lost to her again.


Plus some other spots here and there, but nothing too major! Grammar is a tricky little thing, but by fixing those spots, it would help the sentences flow more. Especially the lengthy ones; if done correctly, it'd break them up into easier chunks.


But all in all, this was a thrilling and interesting read. I notice that your descriptions are more concise, and you also didn't use too many "started to" or "began to" this time. There's clear improvement from Mortem! I really enjoyed reading it.

Great job on this and have a fabulous day/night! :D




Azathoth says...


Thank you so much, I%u2019ll try to take your feedback on board



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Sun Aug 27, 2023 2:33 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Interesting and sad story. Fear brings out quite the ugly in people, doesn’t it? One way monsters are made is when they succumb to fear. If the man doesn’t do something about the situation, if he keeps submitting to his own fear, then soon, he won’t be anything at all. He’ll be a real, thoughtless killing machine.

This was intense, I liked this story.

I hope that you will have a beautiful day/night.




Azathoth says...


Your thoughts on it are interesting, thanks for reading





You%u2019re welcome. :)




Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
— Sylvia Plath