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The Magic Mushroom - Keep My Casket Closed

by Ayanamaste


It seemed as if the only thing that was meaningful in my life was the mushrooms.

In four weeks, I had lost everything.

I had failed every test. I was unable to walk to school without falling on my face. Everything I looked at seemed to merge together, and most of the time I’d see paranormal and unreal things. When people touched me, I’d scream.

For the past few days, I’ve been vomiting a bucketful.

Now, I sat in my room, scared and alone. My body was hot. Blond hair was plastered on my forehead.

Agitation. Confusion. Fear.

My shaking hands grasped my cellphone. I could feel myself dialling Jack’s number. On the second ring, he picked up.

“Hello?”

“I’m scared, Jack.” I whispered. “I need more...Devon won’t sell to me anymore.” There was silence on the other line.

“Stay where you are and don’t do anything.” He ordered. “I’m coming to get you.”

That was the moment I blacked out.

By the time I woke up again, I was in the streets. I was shivering uncontrollably, only in my boxers, and beside me a pool of vomit.

I looked around but I couldn’t see anything. My cheeks were wet from tears.

I managed to get myself up to my feet. Keeping my balance on the walls, I staggered towards the beach. I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. I didn’t care. All I knew was that I had to get to it.

The beach, the beach, the beach...

I heard a loud honk, like a truck. At that moment I snapped out of it, but it was far too late.

Headlights. I was on the highway.

The last thing I heard was the crack of my bones.

The End...


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44 Reviews


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Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:05 pm
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EmmVeePi wrote a review...



"I had failed every test. I was unable to walk to school without falling on my face. Everything I looked at seemed to merge together, and most of the time I’d see paranormal and unreal things. When people touched me, I’d scream.
For the past few days, I’ve been vomiting a bucketful." This here is good description but entirely unrealistic. You've combined a heroin junkie going through withdrawals with someone tripping on mushrooms. Also it should be either "Vomiting bucketfuls" or "Vomiting by the bucketful".

All in all your description is good. Your narrative is simple but it works for the style. My biggest complaint again would be that you've pretty much written a story about a heroin junkie and simply replaced the word "heroin" with "mushrooms" and mentioned visuals a couple of times. If your gonna depict substance abuse do your research and know what your writing before you write it.





Someday, everything is going to go right for you, and it will be so wonderful you won't even know what to do.
— Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham, Questionable Content