I believe it's about time for me to sit down, and put pen to paper for when a person does that flesh turns into blood. My life so far has been chaotic, messy and crazy. There were moments when I thought that it is unbearable, that I cannot handle it and that I should just give up. But I always remember that this is my life and I'm not just passing through it: I'm living it, leaving a trace after me and that requires for me to have emotional contact with my outside world, to suffer and rejoice…
It's about time for me to sit down, and put pen to paper for maybe when I do, some will learn from my mistakes and from all the craziness I have done. I have always lived my life in a way where I didn’t regret the things I didn't do but the things I did have the courage to do. I lived to have this courage, to be able to come up for air.
It's about time for me to sit down and put pen to paper for I have been through a lot and I have kept it all to myself and I think this is the best way to reveal long hidden truths. Some people's true colors are going to be revealed and so are mine, I just wish for you when you read this before you make any judgment to remember that you're not living our lives. It's easier to sit and pronounce judgments on people.
Where does one start? Where is the beginning? Where did my life get turned upside down? If you think about it, none of us leads this calm restful life, we all got problems every day and we deal with them trying to ignore the toll it takes on our spiritual happiness and well being.
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141,304 Literary Works • 674,340 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okay...so this sounds like someone that's about to start penning down a pretty darn interesting life story that's going to involve a whole host of other people as well, so well, certainly an interesting premise here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...interesting little paragraph to get things started here...not a thought I've seen expressed at the start of too many stories, but it does make a lot of sense those last couple of lines. And well, this certainly gets your attention pretty quickly too, starting off by showcasing this person here has been through a lot in life, and been through a lot of pretty tough times by the tone of things here.
Okay...interesting bit of repetition there, seems to nail home the fact that this person is sort of recording their life or something along those lines there here...and well, certainly an interesting statement there at the end to go along with the opening paragraph. There was a lot of talk of horrible things but now here they state that they've never something that they would regret...so hmm...creates even more interesting questions here.
Okay....so it looks like this story here is in fact something being written by this person here, and well, certainly an interesting call there with them telling everyone not to judge people based on what they end up reading so well, that promises to show some folks getting upto some potentially terrible things here.
Hmm, well a fitting end to the vein that this story was headed in there, certainly seems like the start to something that would make for a pretty interesting story here, and this seems like quite an interesting character here too.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty intriguing piece we have here. And yeah, I believe that is about all I've gotta say here for the moment.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I like the use of repetition that introduces the paragraphs. I am very curious as to where this story is going but I have a feeling its going to be very interesting and hopefully and enjoyable read. I can't wait to learn more about this character as they seem quite intriguing. I'm excited to see more of this!!!
This is very interesting. I can definitely see this going somewhere. Where, I am not sure whatsoever but somewhere. I have a very small sense of who the character is, but thats understandablr giving the few words you have written so far. There are a few grammatical mishaps. Some sentences have a weird structure to then, but that is easily fixed later. One thing I always tell people, is to never go back and read what you have written until you are done with it. Or need a little refresher on where you left off. Its important. I am excited to see more of this story and think you have a concept worth exploring more! Good luck and keep up the good work!
Hey! ChocolateCello here!
Welcome yo YWS!
First off, I truly love the content of this writing, so this will be purely grammatical.
So, here it goes. First, you need to capitalize "Weird", "This", and "Way" (Life is Weird This Way). Not only does it look better but it's the proper way to handle a title. Additionally, you haven't been indenting your paragraphs.
You seemed to be having a slight trouble with tenses. One or twice you use the wrong tense. (Now you might want someone to double check this because tenses used to be my fatal flaw in everything I wrote) In the first paragraph you say, "thought that it is unbearable, that I cannot handle"
'Thought' is past tense (Which is correct for what you are writing) but 'cannot' is present; It should be 'could not'. There was one other place where the tenses were a bit off but of course, now that I'm looking for it, I can't find it.
You end the first paragraph with an unneeded ellipsis. (Did I spell that right?) It doesn't look or read well. It would be best to just change it to a period. On the topic of punctuation, you had a few commas here and there that weren't really needed. Just take a minute or two to look over for that.
I'm still getting the hang of reviewing so I hope this helps. The meaning and story in this piece was great. I would love to see some more writing from you soon.
-ChocolateCello