Young Writers Society

I love this poem, the idea, and it flows nicely. However, there are a few things I'd like to point out,
First of all, the use of 'old, you had gold, told, old, hold, mold, listed so many times, in almost every section. I wish you'd use a bit more word choice.
Second, you separated some ideas, and you didn't for others. For example, you didn't separate pencil bag and eraser, but you did for the sticky note and the paper clip.
Finally, there were several sentences that didn't make much since to me, for example, "Every little passion that I know so will." I think you meant Well. I'm not going to go through, and point everything out, that's not really my style. But you should probably go through one more time, or read it out loud to catch these sneaky errors.

Of course, other than that, I loved this poem, and it's most certainly getting a like!

As always, keep writing, even when others talk you down!

Hey there, AutumnDawn, MaybeInk here for a review. (Just wanted to say that your name reminds me of my oc, Autumn, okay, on to the review, oops)

This is one of the best poems I've recently read on the Young Writer's Society, and I'm really tempted to print this off and hang it on my wall...are you okay with that? This is just really aesthetic and beautiful and 15/10 would definitely recommend.

I noticed a couple grammar and other small mistakes, so I'll go point those out now.

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"That makes such beautiful stroke" In this line, you might want to change it to "strokes" or "such a beautiful stroke." Of course, maybe this is part of your writing style, so these are just suggestions.

"I am notebook that holds and molds" is a beautiful line, it really stood out to me. But, like the line about the pen's strokes, you might want to change it to "the notebook."

"I am almost as heavy as bar of gold" could be "heavy as a bar of gold."

I've noticed that in a couple lines, you've written "erazer," my auto correct is telling me to replace that 'Z' with an 'S.' Also, who gave you the right to make me feel empathetic towards an eraser??? T-T

"Where pencils come to once again relive," could be "to once again revive."

The part about the earbuds is so true, I can't function without them.

The word writer is capitalised in some lines, but in others, left small.

The last section, told from the view of the writer, is really amazing and empowering, and it's my favourite part.

All in all, this is really beautiful and incredible, I love it so much, keep up the great work,
~Ink

(Seriously though, can I print this off and stick it on my wall???XD)

Hi AutumnDawn!

Liberty500 is here to drop of a review for you! Let's get right into it! I really loved your poem! Especially that second last paragraph! It's wondrous! I love how you chose to make all the items 'speak', I would never in a million years, thought of that. It's amazing! But, i saw a few mistakes that I wanted you to check.

So, this line in very elegant: "That makes such beautiful stroke" but you may have forgotten to add the 'a' in between 'such' and 'beautiful'. If you DID add the 'a' this is how it would've sounded like: "That makes such a beautiful stroke".

Then, you had this line: "That it such a beautiful mission". I loved that you used the word 'mission', it makes it sound... awesome. There IS just one thing I noticed. You wrote 'it' and it doesn't really fit in properly you know what I mean? There's two different ways (that I can think of) you could have written it:

- "That it's such a beautiful mission"
- "That is such a beautiful mission"

Also in this line: "I am notebook that holds and molds" there's two things that I spotted. 1. You wrote 'notebook' and it make sit sound like a notebook is a name, of a person, am I making sense? You might just wanna add 'a' in front of notebook so it sounds more like this: "I am a notebook that hold and molds." 2. You spelt the word 'molds' incorrectly. It's supposed to be like this: 'moulds'.

I also found something here in this line: "Where ideas flow so beautifully elegantly". You made it 'beautifully elegantly' and it doesn't sound right if I say it aloud. You might wanna delete one of the 'ly'.

Here "I am almost as heavy as bar of gold" it would sound better (not that it's not already better) if you added 'a' in between 'as' and 'bar'.

Spelling mistake! "I am the erazer" This is how 'erazer' is spelt: eraser. All you need to do is change the 'z' into a 's'.

This line in general doesn't make sense to me: "Oh how can say may I sorry". it doesn't oud right. Maybe you could explain?

The word 'Than' here "Than the writer must start all over again" is supposed to be spelt as 'then'. As in, "Finish your dinner, THEN you my go." But if you used 'than', then it'd be used in a sentence like this, "Your sister is older THAN you."

What can I say I work with all my might

I am find in crumbled and broken state in jean pocket

All that the writers writes and hopes for

You wrote, 'nevered' in this line: "Who has nevered to stop" and it kinda confused me because 'nevered' is not a word. I even searched it up, in case.

The 'Never' does not need to be capitalised in "And I will Never stop writing"

These are all the things that I noticed were not sounding right, or not looking right. Overall, I really loved to read this poem! It was really fun to read! I'll hope to see more from you soon!

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500