To Hang on to Life / Keep on Climbing: 2 Short Stories about Holding on

To Hang on to Life

I stood there, frozen whether from fear or awe, I didn't know. The golden knob, calling out to me with its tricky golden face, was attached to the wood so twisted and gnarled that even the most down to Earth-practical man would get lost in its glorious beauty. That is, if they didn’t know what this door was used for. I struggled, for behind that door lay an immortal world. A world so perfect, so heavenly that even the poorest of men were allowed to glut themselves with the ambrosia of God. But, this door only had one knob, and it lay on this side. This door, if you enter, would never let you come back. Behind this beauty, there were no tears. There was no sorrow. Never before had anger, spite, or pride entered this door. I knew all that. I knew God's immeasurable love and His life-restoring forgiveness but- but! To enter this door, you had to leave behind the world. When God announced his decree, the edict could never be taken back. Upon entering this gate every gaping hole in a human heart would be filled, but the stories of this door had not left Earth untainted. This door had earned its name on Earth, a name striking fear and sadness into every human being to ever walk the dirt of this world, and its name was Death. As I told myself this horrible entry would never sack me of life, a surge of wind came from the door. I’ve encountered this breeze. Its purpose was to suffuse the mind with calmness. It was the air of someone lying peacefully in bed, telling their loved ones not to fall into sorrow. I held my breath, forcing myself not to breathe it in. The cool draft coiled around me like a gentle father holding their child. I would not go through that door. No! I would not fall into its trap! I took a step back. I would hold onto the brittle body I was given by God. In this body years back I felt love. In this body long ago I felt comfort. In this body, I held a passionate life with friends and family for so many years. And I couldn’t- wouldn’t let it go!

~~~

My lungs started to hurt, but I couldn't breathe that peaceful air in! Wasn't pain supposed to be nonexistent now? I guess I haven't gone through the door yet... My hand came quickly to cover my mouth (to be honest, in my panic, I might've smacked myself in the face). I was feeling dizzy. My head became light and the world seemed unbalanced. My other hand flew up and plugged my nose. No! The black void of a floor came creeping closer. I felt a hand on my back. I shut my eyes. I wouldn't look Him in the face. I heard a chuckle. "Child," He said. His voice was a calm breeze and green meadow on a sunny day. It was a warm hug of a gentle father. It was a fireplace when the world outside a raging blizzard. "You can breathe. The air isn't poisoned, and it certainly won't hypnotize you." I opened my eyes, staring at the black void below, wisps of fog lazily danced on the floor. "Some people find it calming and peaceful, so we add the effect to help ease the transition." Hesitantly, I lowered my hands. My lungs screamed their freedom as I gasped for air, but nothing changed. I still wanted to stay, my knees still knocked together, and the sharp pain in my chest was ever present. "No," I said, voice cracking. Unable to find any more words, I repeated myself, "No." My eyes became wet, and I fell to the floor. "Please, no." My life! I wanted my life! Give me back the life I loved so dearly! But the words remained stuck in my throat. The strong, yet gentle voice came again, "Do you want to see them?" I knew who he meant. I nodded. I blinked. And suddenly, we were in a white room. The floor was white. The ceiling was white. The walls were white. The bed sheets, pillows, curtains, lights, and tables were all white. I heard a faint beeping noise I was all too familiar with. As my eyes danced around the bone pale room, I found myself entranced. Was I even standing at those beautiful doors, or was it just a dream? The figure I saw laid out on the bed was my answer. Eyes going wide, it all came back to me. She was an old lady, hair white and face very wrinkled. She was calm. Her figure seemed kind, but the pictures dotting the table told the story of adventure. The time I went hiking into the Grand Canyon, my kids all muddy from the river. The time I went skydiving for my 70th birthday. I chuckled. My grandson's face was full of concern as he watched me put on my parachute. I saw a scene from when I went camping under a sea of stars, my husband pointing at a constellation while I leaned my head on his shoulder. I saw our mission trip, all the kids grinned with joy while holding their new toys. I looked down at myself. I was a teenage girl. I looked back at the lady in the bed. She was an old woman. I looked to my left. My son. His hair is grey now, and he was holding the old lady's hand. My great-granddaughter, was sitting in his lap. She stared at the lady in the bed, then looked up at my son with wide eyes, "What's going to happen to grandma?" He looked down, and smiled softly, "She's going to heaven, darling." She stared at the bed, she was always a quiet girl. "Grandma had a wonderful life." He paused, his sad eyes squinted in a comforting smile, "Remember that time you were scared to go on the roller coaster, so she went with you?" she giggled, "That was fun," He continued, comforted by his own story, "The man at the front of the line was scared to let her on." He looked back at my body and sighed, "It's time for Ma to go. I bet Pa's jumping with joy in Heaven, he loved her lots," He looked down at the little girl again, "Do you want to say goodbye to grandma?" she looked up at him, "Do we have to?" My son paused, and said to her, "How 'bout we say, 'see you later.'" she smiled, "Okay!" She turned to my body, "See you later Grandma." My son turned too, "See you later, Ma."

~~~

I blinked and I was back in the void. There was a hand on my shoulder, the gates stood above me. I looked above me to the right. His eyes were- and this doesn't justify what I felt in that moment- so kind. His eyes, oh His eyes! They were kind and loving, I was filled with emotion. He stood tall, strong, yet humble and kind. This was Jesus. I fell to my knees. Joy and emotion filled my heart. Who was I, a person such as I, to be in His presence? How? "Lord," I whispered, tears now streaming down my face. He held out His hand, and I could see the scars on His wrist. "Why don't we leave this darkness?" He asked. I took His hand and looked at the glorious, beautiful gates. My arm raised, my hands didn't shake, and I grasped the cool, golden knob. With a childish grin on my face, I opened the gate.

The End

Keep on Climbing

The snow stung my face in a way I've never encountered before. My fingers were growing numb. But this wasn’t new, all I can remember was this mountain. Climbing this mountain for who knows why. God knows how long. The only thing I could do was to keep climbing. The rocks dug into my fingers, not that I could feel it. My short breaths came out in little white puffs, quickly taken away by the wind. The only think I could do was to keep climbing-

"You already said that!"

I whipped my head around. What was that?! I saw only the swirling snow flying past the icy rocks. I shivered, unable to tell if it was from the cold or from fear. Only able to climb about 50 feet a day, the distance I did climb barely made a difference. 50 feet a day… A day? How many days have I been out here? I'm barely able to move. I didn't even know what still kept me going, maybe the hope of seeing the sun or the hope of seeing another person laugh again…

"Why do you keep trying anyways? There's no solution in sight!"

My heart almost stopped, and I slid about 2 feet down before catching myself. A wet warmth consumed my hands and legs. Heart now pounding, I listened intently while frozen in place. I needed to put it out of my mind. If I kept thinking like this… I don't even want to think about the conclusion I'd come to.

I ached. I ached deep into my bones, and deep in my soul. I ached for warmth, I ached from time without sleep and I could barely breathe and all I could do was keep climbing. I'd cry but my eyes were frozen. I'd scream if my throat wasn't icy.

"You need to let it go, why is this so important to you?"

Let it go? Let go of the mountain? The thought of leaving the mountain was so relieving, my grip started to loosen. But I caught myself just in time. Why did I want to do this? I don't know. But… I don't need to know. I just wanted to. And so I climbed with a newfound strength. A strength that wasn't my own. My arms and legs burned. The thin air and ice stung my throat, but I only thought about climbing. Ignore the pain. I let out a scream that ripped my throat and echoed around me. Just keep climbing. Only getting higher. One handhold, one foothold, one pull at a time.

After what seemed like forever compacted into a minute, I reached the top. I lay there, soaking in the marvelous view, too beautiful for a proper description. Only existing in one's imagination could one fully perceive its glory. I lay there, the atmosphere becoming heavy. My breath began to slow. I slumped towards the ground. My eyes slowly shut…

"How long will he stay in the coma, Doctor?"

"It's hard to say. It could be minutes, days, or even years. The car accident was bad."

"Are you really willing to tend to him for years?"

"I don't know. I think this has turned into a personal battle for me…"

"Doc, if it doesn't work, don't take it hard. Promise me?"

"It's… complicated."

I opened my eyes to a blinding light and a chemical, almost sterile smell flooded my nose. Two dark silhouettes stood above me. What is this strange place? Where am I laying?