z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Adventures of Darren Cassidy - Chapter Six, Part Six - Midweek Action

by BrumalHunter


‘Why do you look so relieved?’ Aiden asked Darren once they were back at the school’s outdoors arena for break. ‘You can take Minerva on. Remember, she traded Ember for Incinerate, so while it does more damage, it burns Berries, and not you. The only other status condition she can still inflict is confusion, but that’s non-volatile. You can paralyse her. Isn’t that how you win most of your battles?’

Darren nodded. ‘It is, but you have to remember that she has Psybeam, and not just Confusion anymore, but worse still, she has Will O’ Wisp.’

Aiden drew a sharp breath and grimaced. ‘Right! I saw her practicing it the other day… Well, at least it can miss.’

‘Not if she’s a Fire type, which she is.’

‘Why am I so forgetful today?’

Darren shrugged. ‘She also has Morning Sun.’

‘And her Ability is Drought…’

‘Yeah, precisely.’

‘Hey, at least you can win me,’ Tyler joked, punching Darren on the shoulder. (Well, as much you could punch a canine’s shoulder.) ‘I suck at Strategy & Tactics. Oh, and don’t forget Experience. I suck at that too. Why’d they have to put that at the end of the day, anyway?’

‘The “they” is Mrs Williams,’ Aiden replied. ‘She has been teaching for decades, so I think she knows by now that Battle is the most students’ favourite subject. Strict as she is, she thought we might enjoy ending the week on it.’

‘Though that’s good to know, that doesn’t exactly answer my question.’

‘If Zekday’s last period is Battle, then no other day can end it with it. Besides, I think it’s a good schedule. S&T to start off the day, Battle to apply what we learned practically, and then Experience to settle down again.’

‘I’m glad you like Experience,’ Tyler muttered. ‘I can’t work out scenarios as well as you two, and it’s hard for me to concentrate with Old Torkoal’s continuous droning. It’s all too hypothetical.’

‘Studying others’ battles or working out scenarios is actually an excellent exercise,’ Darren added. ‘If we just battled each other, we shan’t ever improve, since there would be no challenge.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Oh! I didn’t mean to be rude; I meant we’d get used to each other’s techniques and styles, so we’d never be exposed to anything else. If you don’t push your limits, you can’t grow. That’s why I said Experience is useful – it forces us to think outside our frame of reference.’

Tyler glared at Darren for a moment longer, but then the corners of his lips began to turn up. He tried to keep the expression, but failed when a full smile appeared on his lips. He laughed at himself.

‘No worries. I know you meant no offense.’

Darren smiled along, but breathed in relief mentally.

‘I think I know what Minerva’s main moves will be one day,’ Aiden declared, paging through his Pokégram Battle Handbook.

When he didn’t elaborate, Darren sighed and indulged him. ‘And what, pray tell, will they be?’

Aiden grinned mischievously. ‘How about you two guess?’

Tyler groaned. ‘Seriously? I’m not in the mood for a guessing game now.’

‘Then you can sit it out.’

‘May I–?’

‘No, Darren, you may not sit it out as well. You’re facing Minerva in an unofficially official match, so you need to know your competition. We’ll start with the easiest one: her main move, Incinerate.’

Darren looked at the page with furrowed brow. ‘Probably Flamethrower.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s damage is greater than that of Lava Plume.’

‘But she could learn Overheat if she knew Lava Plume. If she knew Flamethrower, she wouldn’t be able to learn it.’

‘While that is true, Minerva relies on her Special Attack for damage. She’s not the kind to put all of her eggs in one basket. If she were the kind to use Nasty Plot, though, she would probably choose otherwise, since then she could negate the decrease in Special Attack and still boost it.’

‘Good, good. But why didn’t she take Flame Burst instead of Incinerate?’

‘That path leads to attacks with more power, but less accuracy, and like I said, Minerva isn’t the kind to take risks.’

‘This is actually easy to understand,’ Tyler commented.

‘Not to rain on your parade–’

‘You see the irony in saying that, right?’

‘I do, but still, Fire type attacks are generally less complicated. When paging to the Grass section, however–’ Aiden flipped to the appropriate pages, ‘we have a different story.

Oh, it’s on the next page. There!

No, Darren, you aren’t supposed to look.’ Aiden closed the handbook, but kept the page with his paw. ‘Why does Minerva have Morning Sun?’

‘It’s a reliable way of recovery, in her case,’ Darren answered.

‘Any other reasons?’

‘It’s one of three Light Chains, the others being the Moonlight and Flash sequence. The Morning Sun sequence ends with Solar Beam, which is a Tier Five Grass Type move. Ordinarily, it takes two turns to use, but since Minerva’s Ability is Drought, she can use it in one. Thus, her Ability not only negates her weakness to Water, it also allows her to respond effectively.’

‘Okay, that I would not have seen…’ Tyler confessed.

‘Ah, but I wonder if Darren will get the next one.’ Aiden winked. He opened the book again and paged back to the Fire page.

‘Psybeam?’ Darren asked.

‘No! That’s obviously an alternative to Incinerate, eventually to be replaced with…?’

‘Don’t you know?’

‘You were supposed to complete the sentence.’

‘Oh! Err, Psyshock. No, wait; it’s the other one… Psychic, because it has more power and can reduce the target’s Special Defence.’

Without even confirming, Aiden motored on, ‘Now, why does she have Will O’ Wisp?’

‘To compensate for losing Ember.’

‘C’mon, Darren. You should know by now that there’s always another reason besides the most obvious. Try again.’

‘This is getting depressing,’ Tyler commented, ‘so I’m gonna go find Raymond. I’ll see you guys in Experience.’

Darren looked at Tyler go, wishing he could join him. ‘I don’t know,’ he said eventually.

‘Look here. Do you see Will O’ Wisp on it?’

‘If you’re asking, then it’s probably not.’

‘It isn’t. Why?’

‘You’re going to tell me anyway…’

‘Not with that attitude,’ Aiden said jokingly. ‘Fine, I’ll give you a hint. The two moves later in the sequence are Ominous Wind and Shadow Ball, since it’s a spectral move by nature.’

‘Ah. Then it’s to learn the latter, since the former doesn’t fit her style. Besides, Drought provides all the preparation she needs, while Shadow Ball is also an alternate attack to be used on Ghosts or Psychics.’

‘And that concludes our study session!’ Aiden declared. ‘Do you want to jog with me around the school grounds until the bell goes?’

‘Sure, but we stick to jogging.’

‘Are you afraid of losing a race?’

‘No, it’s so that you don’t have to suffer the humiliation of losing.’

‘Oh, you’re on!’

Minerva, who sat obliviously on the pavilion, summarising her work in advance, protested as a streak of red and a flash of yellow sped by her, scattering her books all around her.


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Sun Nov 29, 2015 2:35 am
EnderFlash wrote a review...



I bump Buggie's first general comment.

Kudos on those flow charts! They're nice to look at and present information in a way that would be much harder in words.

Since this is in Darren's POV, why not show a little more of his inner frustration? Be it a sense of stupidity, brainaches, or the rapid collection of possible answers, it'll help with the dialogue problem and give us what could be an amusing view into Darren.

The last line is nice, but I think its main issue is all the commas that slow its execution.

---

1. Pokemon tactics! Since we're going into move switching, does that mean the four move limit is present?

2. I... I feel like I've been cheated of an epic battle from the way the last chapter ended.



Sorry for this bare-bones review. I don't have much to say, since it's mostly dialogue and I'm terrible at subtlety, receiving or writing. See you next chapter!




BrumalHunter says...


Darn, I forgot that diacritics cause the response to disappear. Drat.

Comments:
1. Thanks! I knew creating visual aids would be worth it.
2. Sure.
3. Oh, that makes sense.

Impressions:
1. Most Pokemon (hah, remembered not to add the diacritic this time) can learn more than four moves, but the League only allows the use of four during any given battle. (Unless it's not an official/honourable battle, but we'll only get to those much later.) Thus, if you realise a move won't work against an opponent in the midst of battle, you are allowed to use a different one to the one you had prepared, as long as you haven't used the to-be-replaced move already.
2. That has been corrected. XD

On to the next part!



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Wed Nov 11, 2015 9:26 pm
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Ventomology wrote a review...



Ah, we finally get a glimpse of the move tiers... Minerva's got a nice set of options to pick from.

General Comments:

1. As much as I appreciate the more technical pieces of world-building coming through meaningful dialogue, I do worry about the sheer amount of dialogue crammed together and the amount of time characters talk. Even on serious topics (like school projects or math tutoring), it's pretty rare for one person to talk for very long without some major motion or facial expression.

I know Aiden has the book covered up, but finding ways to describe gestures and expression on a canine frame is a challenge I'm sure you'll step up to.

2. What does the outside of the school look like again? I know we've been there before, but reminders are helpful. (Now that I think of it, I should work on this too...)

Details:

1. Lovely flow charts. I'm not sure they're quite textbook material, but your textbooks probably look different from mine.

2. The last sentence could use a little boost in drama. It's a cute line, and it makes the cut, but I think you can do more.

Plot, Characterization, and Misc. Items:

1. The way you separated this from the previous section, I could almost think it was a separate chapter. I know it's still on the path to the battle, but the fact that you've changed locations and ideas calls for a thicker divide than what's already there, especially since the past couple parts blended so neatly together. Do you have some kind of separation in your draft at least?

2. I loved the subtle allusion to Tyler's temper! A++

... and that's about it. Onto the next chapter!
-Buggie




BrumalHunter says...


Yes, I am quite proud of those Move Tiers. If anyone claims I don't put in as much effort into this novel as I would in a world created entirely on my own, they'd be stating the obvious, but saying I put in little effort will get them a Leer.

Comments:
1. I love how you and Ender bring your own styles to the table. Your matter-of-fact explanations are what makes your reviews so useful.
2. Especially since I studied the behaviour and body language of wolves.
3. Actually, I haven't described it, really. XD

Details:
1. Oh, it isn't a textbook - Aiden bought it on his own. I realise "textbook" and "handbook" are often used interchangeably, but in this case, I use "handbook" to mean "a book that you can carry around with you". The name had to sound official-ish.
2. Oh, well. Not all lines can be as dramatic as one hoped.

Impressions:
1. There's an entire part between this one and part four, as we later realised. I am still embarrassed about that.
2. Thank you.

Yes, onwards again.




They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
— Kurt Cobain