The Adventures of Darren Cassidy - Chapter Seven, Part One - Not so Great Expectations

Chapter Seven – Not so Great Expectations

Sometimes, Darren wished something interesting would happen in Dalton Village. Well, okay, often. Then again, “interesting” could be anything out of the ordinary, no matter how fleeting… Fine, he wished that something extraordinary would happen – something that would affect the village for years to come.

Of course, extraordinary events rarely occurred, even in the cities. The odds of them occurring in an insignificant village were slim, and the odds of said events occurring within his lifetime were slimmer still. Many nights, Darren would pray to Arceus that he would be granted a fate other than that of local energy supplier, but ultimately, he wouldn’t know if his prayers had been answered (or even heard in the first place) until later in life. Darren could only hope (and pray, which he already did) that he would get to see the outside of the forest.

Until then, it was a variation on the same theme each day, every day. His mother at least noticed he was in an existential mood again, so she didn’t try to give him any pep talks, motherly lectures, or anything along the lines of a motivational speech. Besides, he knew that she knew that he could easily become irritated when in such a mood, and he appreciated that she understood and gave him some space.

Of course, if he was still that way after school, then she would let him have it. Darren had pointed this out to Aiden once, but the Growlithe had simply replied that even when expressing her anger, Audrey Cassidy was one of the coolest moms ever. Darren was naturally obliged to ask why, to which Aiden replied that her idea of punishment was firing a Thunderbolt off at her son. Considering that it would actually invigorate Darren, thereby ending his mood, it’s not a bad tactic, if a bit unorthodox. He added that it probably acted as a great stress reliever too.

Sadly, said bolt would only be delivered after the cruel torture that was school, and only if Aiden failed to cheer him up (which solely a rare combination of pending homework, exhaustion and bugging from a certain duo could accomplish). Whether he liked it or not – and he did not – he would simply have to endure the boring day ahead.

‘Hey, Darren!’ Aiden exclaimed once the concerned Electrike left for school. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m in that mood again…’ Darren replied dejectedly.

‘Reshdays tend to have that effect on you. Or was it a dream this time?’

‘No, I’m pretty sure it’s the day,’ Darren replied, setting off down the path.

‘But did you have a dream?’

Darren eyed Aiden suspiciously. ‘If you were Duncan, I’d be worried. But yes, I had a nonsensical dream about lampshades.’

Aiden nodded, as if that made perfect sense. ‘I’m no Psychic, but it probably was the dream.’

Darren frowned. ‘How do you figure?’

‘Well, one of Pokémon’s primal fears is what some journalist of a magazine I once read calls “Existential Dread”: people wonder what will happen in the afterlife. We want our lives to mean something, but we don’t want to disappear into nothingness once they’re over. Ghosts like Lampent and Chandelure are therefore feared and shunned by many.’

‘You think I had a dream about a Lampent?’

‘Hey, hospitals hire Dark Pokémon as security for good reasons. Are you experiencing any life-weariness or inexplicable fatigue?’

Darren chuckled, despite himself. ‘No, Doctor Karman, I have none of the described symptoms. Unless thinking in more parentheses and italics than usual counts.’

Aiden sniggered. ‘Ah, then we have a completely different diagnosis on our hands! You are showing indicators of hippomonstrosesquipedalimania; the next phase will be verbosity.’

‘Are you sure you aren’t suffering from it, doctor?’ Darren asked, now openly laughing.

Up ahead, Tyler was leaning against a wall while waiting for the two canines to get closer. ‘Could you repeat the joke?’ he asked, falling in step beside them. ‘I’m almost always in the mood for laughing.’

‘It’s a long story,’ Aiden said, still smiling brightly. ‘But where’d that “almost” come from?’

‘What, am I not allowed to experience emotions other than happiness too? Wouldn’t it be creepy if I was laughing at a funeral?’

‘Actually, yes,’ Aiden said, raising his eyebrows. ‘Very. By the way, did you have any weird slash interesting slash awesome dreams yesterday?’

‘Is that what the joke was about?’

‘Sort of. Darren had a dream about lampshades, so I suggested it might have been about Lampents.’

The Axew’s eyes grew wide. ‘Those have a creep factor of eight, and that’s pretty high.’

‘No duh,’ Aiden said, rolling his eyes and bumping his friend. The trio stepped onto the school ground and headed for Mrs Williams’ class. ‘What’s higher?’

‘Gengar and Cubone, but Banette’s obviously at the top. Seriously, ever since I heard the fairy-tale, I’ve donated all my old toys to charity people that stop by every now and then.’

‘You’d be more likely to get trapped in the forest by a wild Trevenant,’ Aiden pointed out. He tried to keep a straight face, but when Darren, who had only just stopped smiling, burst out in laughter, so too did he.

‘I might have to bump its rating, come to think of it.’