Young Writers Society

Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that this poem is descriptive since i can imagine most of the uses for a lip in this poem since the reader could imagine (imagery if you want to see here) also how you used some uses of the lip as a metaphorical term for something else which is spot on for anyone who chooses to write like that. Also i enjoyed that there are snippets of poetry and some could be the beginning of a short story or could theme for something. Plus I enjoyed the ways you describe what one lip can go through, without even moving (besides talking).

Most poems that i read, there are nitpicks or mistakes that would need to be fixed (or mostly due to the fact, that they take in the reviewers thought on how to change whatever they must change within their poem) however, this poem and the reviews i have seen, i would say that you have fixed anything that would need to be fixed. there are many ways of using a lip or a mouth, and they go through so much without anyone to realize it and i find it awesome that you wrote these ways in a poem like form.

Overall, from what i have said, i would say that this is a well-written poem and the imagery within this poem is breathtaking since someone could imagine what you have wrote or could use these ideas your wrote and put them into a story that someone could read.

Farewell,
Tuesday

First hands and now lips...perhaps next noses? I liked it.
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich causing sticky lips to smack, while humming the itsy bitsy spider. The purple imprint of those grape jelly lips, left on the carnation pink shirt that the blonde haired toddler used as a napkin.
I liked this line the most, probably because I have younger siblings with which this can relate. That's the joy of writing though. When people can relate to your words, it's a beautiful thing. A complement to our skills as authors and writers.
Lips swollen, bloodied, and throbbing. "Meet me at the play ground after school" were the words that I was not able to avoid.
Indeed many kids today experience this feeling if dread. It's really too bad it happens at all. I didn't see any grammar errors,others might but I didn't. I thought this was good. Very good. Looking forward to reading more of your works, feel free to read/review mine

Hello!

Having just reviewed Widdershins' hand poem, I decided to check out your viewings of lips.

I really liked some of your descriptions that you use, especially when they're not actually about lips.

That being said, there are a few things that could be changed for the better.

A lot of the snippets didn't really feel like poetry. They felt more like microfictions. Like the drunk one, and the plastic surgery. Oh, and they use botox for that, not silicone.

What's brilliant about these kinds of poems is the pure observational nature of them. I didn't get that from this one. I felt biases here, and it made it less enjoyable. I would go back, maybe after you've let it sit for a while, as it's difficult to pick up on our own biases, and try to make this purely observational. Enjoy the moment, even if you might think it disgusting. Everything can be fascinating, even beautiful, if you look close enough.

I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy YWSing!