Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
Dear friend,
How can i explain this feeling? The dictionary seems to let me down as it does do not have the word to capture my exact expressions.
I met one of Britain’s greatest painters, writers, poets, graphic designers. One greater than William Shakespeare and Da Vinci put together. Awesome!
Simply said, he is a highly talented genius to me. From the portraits I saw, I knew that he could paint large portraits and comics that could cover the ground wholly, create typographical letters that could cover every edge of the wall.
He is a person of such cordial sympathy, a great sense of humour and a man of remarkable benevolence.
He is extremely tall, lean, handsome, dark-haired Caucasian who possesses not only physical but abstract qualities.
Guess what? One lesson I have learnt is: never fall in love with a man nature and hard work has endowed and over-dosed with artistic qualities. This I never shall especially when it is a would -be first love.
On our first meeting, I associated his character and name with politeness when he said: `pardon me, you are a stunner and I the exact antithesis of what you find attractive in men’
`I obtained my PHD at the age of 13 he went on. I am 23 years old. I am also a computer wizard. You are into I.T . I know that I don’t possess stupendous wealth, but I can see the future with I.T. I can predict our future together with I.T like a psychic work in a renowned british I.T company. You’ve got the title, and the wealth but I am an aspiring millionaire as poor as a struggling artist’
As if his qualities weren’t remarkable enough, I was over all, impressed by his experience, display of high intelligence and his enlightened manners.
He was so direct and went on to describe intimacy thus:’ sexual appetite daily if I am really into you’ he suggested it knew i had no experience i was a natural he had a dog spirit i was his prey didn’t mind to have it with me in public he didn’t fucking care he turned me to his sexpot i loved missionary style
I never understood what mum meant when she said ‘who knows what could become of an aspiring millionaire?’ I now understand. He made it crystal clear when I meant him.
Then there was this other British Aristocratic stupendously wealthy, tall, handsome dark-haired man who had a great sense of humour and also possesses not only physical but also abstract qualities greater than William Shakespeare and Da Vinci. Expectedly, his family background was also wealthy and posh.
Bryan Ferry song ‘Slave to love’ contains some lyrics that guide me daily. It goes thus:
‘To need a woman
You’ve got to know
How the strong get weak
And how the rich get poor`
My mother is right. Thanks to her for intervening: ‘I can’t predict a poor aspiring millionaire’s future’
He fell in love with me and so did I.
Our love, his love, care and his desire to always protect me can’t be compared to that of Jack and Rose in Titanic or with Noah and Allie in The Notebook or any other.
I call my own love, our love, our own love story is: ‘The Art of Love but with a happy ending.’
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138,969 Literary Works • 672,378 Reviews
*squints at description*
*rereads work*
what.
The Beginning
what.
The Ending
Is this supposed to be a love triangle? Is this actually the man from before, but transformed sometime in the future? It's very unclear. In fact, most of the story is very unclear. It's a mesh of grammatical and spelling errors, but even if you fixed those grammatical and spelling errors, I don't know if there's anything to see beneath all of that. It's just a structural mess, and I have no idea what the central conflict is, where the story rises and falls, what it's moral message might be, etc..
-Voice. Can we talk about your voice here? I know it's the least important thing, considering I just mentioned conflict and characters, the two most important elements, but your voice here is also a mess. You mentioned 'awesomeness' in the beginning, while the rest of the text seemed relatively refined, almost archaic. Of course, you also mentioned IT, so I have no idea what you were going for. Eitherway, its not a good look, and I can't assign a good voic for it. But it's hard to assign anything to this, really.
Main Praises
-I know I've been cruel to you, up until now. I don't want to be. I think everybody can write well. Who knows, maybe you were actually thinking of something more ambitious and I just couldn't see it through the muddle. But eitherway, I just don't think this was the best work. My main praise would be that it at least had an interesting story description--I actually do want to see a non-aristocratic British person fall in love with an African princess. That sounds very interesting. It's just not what I got, in my opinion.
Take care,
--Elliot.
Hello!
This is wonderful! The very idea is soul tingling. I would look back through for spelling errors and punctuation mishaps. The only real problem I have is that i thought this was suppose to be from a past perspective, someone from a different era than our own, but they are using modern vocabulary, sometimes?
Also, there is no ending to your letter. How does this Princess want to conclude her love story? Who is she talking to? A real friend or the general public?
thanks for the beautiful read,
<3 Rascalover