1. Her pretended husband, Nate, is on there all the time! He says he must attend to chat room refrigerators, storybooks, bandwagons, and "10 reasons why Nate is afraid of."
2. Because Nate is afraid of bandwagons, storybooks, YWSers, and "10 reasons why Nate is afraid of." YWS must be full of scary things.
3. There seem to be strange creatures in YWS. She swears she saw a Stegosaurus one time.
4. One day, she found Nate having a heart attack while holding a pot of hot water. This was predicted by a YWSer. These beings must have superpowers... how does her pretended husband manage them all?
5. Ack! A Green Room! Why no Pink Room?
6. Helena has had an irrational fear of storybooks since Nate read her one including bandwagons, storybooks, YWSers, and a list called "10 reasons why Nate is afraid of."
7. There are scary ads everywhere. She can't understand them, but the majority seem to be from Gwynnie Bee, SAMMYdress, and ModCloth. Such weird names!
8. Blogs! Who needs blogs?
9. Because Review Day is so overwhelming! Nate once stayed up all night trying to give everyone a trophy for participating. She worries for her pretended husband.
10. YWSers also seem to know that she is Nate's imaginary wife. She hoped to keep her identity a secret.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Hi, here for a review!
So, some of your grammar choices seemed a bit odd, and could be edited for clarity. For instance beginning a reason with "Because" is a bit confusing (reason 2 and reason 9).
For formatting, I would suggest making the numbers bolded if you decide to do another one of these lists. It just makes it look cleaner, and is easier to read. However, other than that your formatting seemed spot on.
Some of the references were a bit obscure. Inside jokes can be really funny, but this piece seemed to have an overabundance of them. Which sacrifices some audience identification with the jokes...
I didn't think all of the jokes were particularly funny, but that could just be me. With a 10 reasons why list you want to make sure to end & start with your funniest material, rather than looking like your stretching for material at the end. So you may want to consider the order of your list.
Overall, there did not seem to be any big meaning behind this piece, but it seems to have succeeded in it's task: that is creating a list and getting "likes".
Good luck in future writing and editing!
~alliyah
We're coming for you, Helena.......
Mwahahaha.
These seem to be a daily occurrence now,
These are still happening?
Yep. Well, I continued it.
Hi Felistia here with a review.
What a hilarious piece of writing, it had me giggling the whole way through. It was a good list and had me glued to the screen all the way to the end, which is what you need in writing. I can't find anything wrong with it and I think it's the best out of all the Why Nate is Afraid of articles.
Good work and thanks for the laugh.