Paris

Hello there, @Arryn! There is little chance that you will ever see this, but I am here to review your poem.

I think you've done a fantastic job of describing Paris, a place I have never seen in person and rarely seen in books / movies / games / etc. I think that your ending is especially descriptive, and I like how you've snuck some French into your third stanza.

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Hi there Arryn!

I decide to click on this because I like poetry and I've been to Paris, a lovely city.

I'm rather impressed at first - I've not seen any of your poetry before and this is really nice. Your imagery is intriguing and where one might describe Paris as the City of Light and Love so stunningly, some of what you write ("Paris, / where afternoons disappear / dark and crippled / at the bottoms of wine bottles") doesn't always seem to represent this city as always beautiful and it isn't. I liked how you used your words; there was little that seemed a little pretentious or boastful of language.

Nevertheless, I didn't much care for the repetition of Paris at each stanza. It became dull and I really think it took away from how simple and lovely the poem was. The repetition was just blah and I don't understand how it contributed in any positive way to the poem. You could easily do with removing a few of the repetitions which may then leave the reader guessing to what you're alluding to (though it's rather obvious with the mention of the Seine and La Rotonde). Secondly:

and where some golden light
still shimmers,
green and yellow,
on the dark pathways
and plain lines
of the ground.