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Paraphrase.

by Arpanekka


(Phase 1)

Be born, play, and grow old.

Earn and live till being dizzy,

For eternity,

So life is too easy.

No ups no downs.

Your loved ones always support you.

The smile is scripted.

The tears are dead.

Too easy to live good,

The seat in heaven is booked.

The coordinates of coffin pre- decided,

Time is limited and date is reserved.

No one to hate,

No one hates you.

Every one is lovable, sigh,

Not all to fall in love.

No stabbed hearts,

No two faced people.

No meaning of being down,

No meaning of words.

Making mistakes to apologize,

It's all right.

No anger, no misunderstandings,

So easy and so ironical.

(Phase 2)

As the words make no sense,

So does life.

It is existence and not living.

But the truth is never right.

No one was bad to me.

No one was good either.

The war is within oneself,

The lose is inevitable.

Forbidden Faces, Closed Chapters,

The words on a red canvas,

Doesn't matter anymore,

But are still attached to the core.

Called with various names,

The real name has no value.

Creation is appreciated by some,

Support has no value.

Many people around till pockets were full,

Few around when eyes were full.

The fake appears real,

And the real is never present.

And yes, life is easy,

Till sheets are filled wonderfully.

Words have no value, only numbers do,

And the convention is being followed blindly.


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51 Reviews


Points: 161
Reviews: 51

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Sun Aug 05, 2018 8:42 am
Ishan212 wrote a review...



Arpanekaa
This is Ishan212 and I'm here to review your literary work Paraphrase.
So here we go.

First of all, your title is great. "Paraphrase".
Secondly, what you wrote about the basic structure, being born, growing old, so ironic , is so true.

Well you also write about numbers having all vlaue and words being of worthless, you are partially right, as these are not always true.

A great poem!!




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16 Reviews


Points: 568
Reviews: 16

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Sat Aug 04, 2018 3:48 pm
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Aranya wrote a review...



Hi Arpanekha!

Glad to meet you. There exists a spectrum of poems on young writers society. And I appreciate its diversity. Your poem stands as a testimony to it.

Review

The title is unique, but I am still not sure whether or how is it connected to the poem.?

Rhyme scheme is solid and the basic one. I am assuming, and it's just me saying is you should indulge in a bit more thoughtful poems.

It lacks flavor or vigor to it. And is kind of jagged, lacking a decent flow.

I hope you're getting what I am trying to say, right.
Your painting is beautiful but painted with very broad brush strokes. And the colors too are aren't too vibrant. I'd recommend you to read more pretty poetry, novella, stories etc. Etc...

I know you have potential to deliver better.
I am hoping to see another piece of yours sooner.

Lose->loss

"The lose is inevitable.

Forbidden Faces, Closed Chapters,

The words on a red canvas,

Doesn't matter anymore,"

Keep working and keep experimenting.




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9 Reviews


Points: 541
Reviews: 9

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Sat Aug 04, 2018 8:17 am
Arpanekka says...







Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
— Holden Caulfield