Published September 21, 2008
All right, all. This poem is based on the song, "Closer," by the Corrs. Hope you all like it!
Warmth beneath the ice,
A smile under the frown.
Hidden signs call out to me
To only look closer.
Laughter peeking from solemn eyes,
Joy from the dark mood.
Could there be more to you than I can see
If I only look closer?
Fluidity flowing from tense nervousness,
Calm grace amid chaos.
You beckon me with a smile
To come and look closer.
But what will you see under me,
If I dare come near?
What will it mean, what will we see
If we both look just a little closer?
A bond between two strangers,
A new discovery of life.
Two lives connect in love
Because we looked just a little closer.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,579 Literary Works • 673,526 Reviews
Now this was a great poem. Your use of those words made a great change in the poem. The deep hidden meaning in poem was also great. It was so convincing.
The beggining was just too great. Very well done.
Put a comma after 'Calm' and the this stanza was great.
This was great ending for this poem. But I think it should be 'with love' and at the end it should be 'Because we just looked a little closer.
So, I think this was great. Well done.
And good luck.
I liked it.It was nice i loved the rhythm.But i saw 1 or 2 mistakes.
But it didn't harm the poem and next time make the poem a bit more realistic.
The poem was catchy and so that's what i think
Hidden signs call out to me,
To only look closer.
You beckon me with a smile,
To come and look closer.
so then that's it.
maby there are more mistakes but that is the mistakes i saw
and i think it was fabulous!!!
hope you continue.
good luck
I like it. The picture that it paints is...wow! And the discriptive words are also really nice! I like the
rhythm it has and the beat it keeps and the song it sings! It is very nice and interesting!
Warmth beneath the ice,
A smile under the frown.
Hidden signs call out to me
To only look closer.
The vibe this stansa creates is..........to good for words!It makes you not want to look away from the
poem at all!
A bond between two strangers,
A new discovery of life.
Two lives connect in love
Because we looked just a little closer.
this stansa is the last one and is very good! I wanted to keep reading but there was no more to read!
So very good!Keep it up!