Young Writers Society

This is the most honest piece of poetry I've ever read.

Hi! It's Serrurie, here to review. Let's get into it:

The world is full of everyday things that with a slight alternation in perspective, can still be studied and confusing. You perfectly captured that. And even though this piece is in first-person perspective, it doesn't give off the feeling that oit was made by someone inexperienced, but rather someone who knows how to be incredibly insightful whilst capturing it in a simple way that others understand. That's very applaudable. I also like how the ethos of this slowly goes from one emotion to another. It's subtle and beautiful.

But I tend to disagree with the whole 'couch sinking' thing. I simply find it cozy.

Happy writing, and be blessed!

-Serrurie.

Wow. I felt your words on such a level that I felt deeply uncomfortable. It's like nothing's right; the contradiction in every line offered a very interesting voice.

My favourite lines were probably these:
"What do you do when every light in your house is too bright, no matter how small,

but the darkness of your bedroom is suffocatingly dark."

I felt every word of this poem, and I shifted on my seat every few seconds at the mere THOUGHT of being uncomfortable.

Bravo!

Goodness. I felt that. I can't wait to see what you write next.

I love the constant opposition. It gives it contrast whilst also concentrating on the feeling of uneasyness. The metaphors accentuate the idea of being doomed to live this way constantly. Not being able to really express the source of the problem but knowing that something is terribly wrong. I would love to read more about your take on this issue, I think you can get closer to the subject.