Young Writers Society

The vivid descriptions of the too-bright lights, suffocating darknesstunnel rush, insufferable noise, and unsettling stillness effectively convey a sense of dissonance and discomfort that many readers can relate to. The use of contrasting imagery, such as sinking into a couch and the depths of the Earth, adds a layer of metaphorical depth to the overall theme.

Heyy, it's izzy reiview this work of art.

It seems like i've been finding a lot of connecting pieces on this website recently lol. Everyone i've clicked on so far has connected ot how i've felt on a deeper level anyways let's get into it,

Your tittle was defentily one of the things that pulled me in. I thought, uncomfortable, hm? what could that be about? I wasn't quite sure but it pulled me in for some reason.

I really liked this piece. I feel like this alot as i've grown out of my loud feral young teenager years it's like I like my peace and quiet now but it's also somehow too quiet. I tend to get overstimulated by things and it'll piss me off and i'll end of throwing things if im by myself. I hate sleeping in darkness but the computer on is too bright and so is my phone, I need noise but it's also too loud and distracting.
Wanting one end of things and then the total opposite at the same time is really hard to get through.

The one line I really liked and related to was , "Does sinking into your couch feel like you’re sinking slowly but surely to the depths

of the Earth where the worms and carcasses of past lives now live?"
because i've had moments where i've finally layed down in bed and it just feels like i'm sinking. I'm sinking into a hole and the world around me is falling apart, that feeling is extremely uncomfortable and all i want is the comfort of another person, but that wont help will it?

Thank you for the oppurtunity to read such a relatable piece.

This is the most honest piece of poetry I've ever read.

Hi! It's Serrurie, here to review. Let's get into it:

The world is full of everyday things that with a slight alternation in perspective, can still be studied and confusing. You perfectly captured that. And even though this piece is in first-person perspective, it doesn't give off the feeling that oit was made by someone inexperienced, but rather someone who knows how to be incredibly insightful whilst capturing it in a simple way that others understand. That's very applaudable. I also like how the ethos of this slowly goes from one emotion to another. It's subtle and beautiful.

But I tend to disagree with the whole 'couch sinking' thing. I simply find it cozy.

Happy writing, and be blessed!

-Serrurie.

Wow. I felt your words on such a level that I felt deeply uncomfortable. It's like nothing's right; the contradiction in every line offered a very interesting voice.

My favourite lines were probably these:
"What do you do when every light in your house is too bright, no matter how small,

but the darkness of your bedroom is suffocatingly dark."

I felt every word of this poem, and I shifted on my seat every few seconds at the mere THOUGHT of being uncomfortable.

Bravo!

Goodness. I felt that. I can't wait to see what you write next.

I love the constant opposition. It gives it contrast whilst also concentrating on the feeling of uneasyness. The metaphors accentuate the idea of being doomed to live this way constantly. Not being able to really express the source of the problem but knowing that something is terribly wrong. I would love to read more about your take on this issue, I think you can get closer to the subject.