Published September 28, 2009
I wrote this forever ago.... but I forgot about it, but here it is.
We weren't always like this,
Pulled apart,
Broken.
We were perfect,
We were in love.
We made mistakes,
And we gave up.
I have no regrets,
But what about you?
It wasn't your fault,
It wasn't my fault,
It was our fault.
Or there was no one to blame.
I still love you,
But now,
Now,
We're broken.
Not the best, and it's rythem is off. But yeah, there it is. How do you put spaces between the lines? It doesn't make any sense without them.
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141,293 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
Hello. So, I thought this poem was alright, but needs a bit of work. First off, the third and fourth stanza don't follow the same rhythm as the other ones. It was also very short, which I personally thought worked against this particular poem. Still, it has potential.
This was really good. "We were perfect,We were this poem. in love.We made mistakes, And we gave up.I have no regrets,But what about you?" those are great and relatible lines. one little nit-pic: ed when only sentences need to be. i really enjoyed
I love it!!!
The lines: "We were perfect,We were in love.We made mistakes, And we gave up" really spoke to me and I almost got goosebumps! It just shows how fast things can change for the worst.
Hey, it is nice poem you've written. i liked it.
your poem is simple, concise, to the point, yet very captivating.
this was a start good enough for the poem... you never lost your rhythm and went off the track...this para very well describes the significance of the title of your poem...
this is an nice and vivid ending you've given to the poem. it fully concludes it and brings a refined touch to the poem...
Do write some more poems. And welcome to YWS!
Sounds like my last relationship
It was hard to read it without connecting the lines which made it off beat in my head but other than that very short and to the point. good job