Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.
I just wanna be with you
Even if the nights are cold and blue
Don't know if it's me or you
It could be us but it never do
Making me feel like "what to do?"
Don't wanna know "what you do?"
Or is it all, what you do
Craving you like a fool
Like it meant something to you
Playing it all cool
Cause that is what you do
This will not work now, your way
You will be all alone on the holidays
- Aria
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141,293 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
Hello! Ley here to review this amazing work for you. Today, I will be using my 'Summer Themed Review Template'! I will start with opening statements, highlight and summarize my favorite parts, note areas that could be improved, and then give you my closing statement! I hope you find this review helpful, and I hope you're having a wonderful Summer, if that's the season wherever you are in the world! Let's get into it!
A Warm Welcome
I'm obsessed with love poems, so I thought I'd give this one a read, and I was pleasantly impressed. It was short and simple yet very effective and full of emotion, and the rhyme scheme was so on point and flowed so smoothly. Let's get into the specifics, though~
Sunny Moments
So as for an introduction, we're shown how much you really love this person. How much you just wanna be there with them-- the effect they have on you, but you're unsure as to why you feel that way. These thoughts are totally valid, and it gives us some insight into the relationship. Amazing job here.
This was powerful and gave me a sense of relatability. Sometimes, the person you love won't see how much their actions effect you, and that's a risk we take as humans to trust someone. This connects me as the reader to your work and makes me remember all the times one of my ex's may have underreacted or taken no action regarding my feelings. It was truly powerful!
Heat and Haze
I don't have any recommendations to this piece, it was structured nicely. When it comes to poetry, I usually don't correct on grammar, but either way-- I don't see anything I would correct in that aspect either! Lovely job.
Overall Vibes
Overall, this poem captivated me with feelings of lust, disconnection, and betrayal. I really loved the last line, as it closed out the poem perfectly. Thank you for sharing, and I hope to read more works of yours in the future! <3333 Have a lovely day!
Thank you for feedback. I really hope that each one of my readers can connect to the piece as you did.
And a really appreciate your efforts. I liked the template that you have used for the review, really interesting and cool.
Your poem really digs into the rollercoaster of emotions we all feel in relationships. The way you repeat phrases like "what to do?" and "playing it all cool" hits home—it's like you're capturing that feeling of being torn between wanting clarity and not wanting to push too hard. The imagery of cold, blue nights sets a vivid scene of loneliness and introspection, which contrasts sharply with the intense craving and longing expressed throughout.
I especially liked how you portrayed the uncertainty and vulnerability of craving someone who might not feel the same way. That line "Craving you like a fool, like it meant something to you" really hits deep—it captures that raw, almost desperate yearning for connection and validation.
And the ending—wow. "This will not work now, your way / You will be all alone on the holidays." It's like a gut punch of realization and acceptance all rolled into one. It's bittersweet and speaks volumes about coming to terms with the reality of a situation, even if it's not what you hoped for.
Keep exploring these themes and emotions in your writing. You've tapped into something real and relatable here, and it's definitely something a lot of people can connect with. Great job capturing those feelings in words!
Thank you for your valuable feedback. I hope many people like you can relate. Really appreciate it.
Your welcome. Let's follow each other!
sure!!
Nice work done by the author.
"Craving you like a fool
Like it meant something to you
Playing it all cool"
The author is trying to find out if the other side also likes him/her (other side refers to the author's loved one).
The author still wonders why he/she plays it all cool even after knowing the truth.
While, here the author craves his/her love and affection the author craves to be his/hers.
I really liked how the author described his/her feelings.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Thank you for your valuable input!
Amazing work.
"Craving you like a fool
Like it meant something to you
Playing it all cool
Cause that is what you do
This will not work now, your way
You will be all alone on the holidays"
This is so well expressed; it's very realistic and open to many of those who are feeling the same.
Thank you!