Time passes by, faster and faster
The clock on the wall, it shows disaster
Two more pages, fifteen minutes to go
Paper blank and clean as white snow
Type some words, doesn’t matter what
Use bad sources, find a shortcut
The essay is done, three minutes remain
Be quick or the effort is down the drain
Help, the web page, it isn’t loading
Wait while the file takes forever uploading
Finally it loads and I submit on the website,
The work is submitted one minute to midnight
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Canary word: Present
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138,220 Literary Works • 672,084 Reviews
AHH the rhymes! They're so good! My favorite lines were: "The clock on the wall, it shows disaster," and "Type some words, doesn't matter what." I think they both rang true to me and my struggles with procrastination. This poem got me thinking about how procrastination is almost like an addiction, and may seem okay, but will eventually harm you. I liked the line, "Use bad sources, find a shortcut," because of this. Basically, I loved this whole poem. I just thought that the lines, "Wait while the file takes forever uploading," and "Finally it loads and I submit in on the website," messed with the rhythm the tiniest bit because they were so many syllables compared to the rest of the poem. I'd suggest saying "Wait as the file takes forever uploading, but I probably don't know what I'm doing.
Otherwise, it was great. Thanks for this wonderful poem.
Thanks for sharing this interesting poem. As a writer searching for ideas at unholy hours of the night I certainly understand the mental frustration of staring at an empty page with an empty mind. But I don’t sense frustration in the poem. It comes across simply as a casual observation. Which is good since we should take things calmly. I liked the rhyming.
“ .... is going down the drain....” “....it just isn’t loading.” seems to make it flow better.
Hey, LittleLee here for a review!
I just love the jovial tone you have taken fur this hilarious poem! It's this about review day, by any chance?
Second line : you could have said "impending disaster", it sounds funnier.
The last line is really funny to read, I don't know why!!
I'd have liked to have seen more of this poem, Arfy! It is really unique in it's style as well.
Maybe you could have used stanzas? It would have made it seem easier to the eyes!!
There are absolutely no grammatical mistakes! Well done!
All in all, it was a very enjoyable read!
Hullo Arfydogs7! Cat here to review this super relateable poem! Okay then, here we go!
Time passes by, faster and faster
First, let's go through your poem together (Anything in bold is my comments/suggestions/grammar help):
Spoiler
The clock on the wall, it shows disaster
Two more pages, fifteen minutes to go
Paper blank and clean as
whitesnowType some words, doesn’t matter what
Use bad sources, find a shortcut
The essay is done, three minutes remain
Be quick or the effort is down the drain
Help!
,the web page, it isn’t loading!Now I Wait while the file takes forever uploading
Finally it loads and I submit on the website,
The work is submitted one minute to midnight
What I liked: I loved how this poem made me laugh, my favorite line was most likely "Help, the web page, it isn't loading". I know the feeling of the slow, super important, website!
What to fix grammar/spelling wise: I didn't see anything! Good work!
Plot holes/confusing stuff: The title, "Procrastination At Its Greatest", may be less confusing if you replace 'greatest' with 'finest'.
Other random comments: For me, the line "Time passes by, faster and faster" always occurs the opposite for me, with the time going slower, but I guess if you are in a time crunch, the time will seem to go way too fast.
Well anyways, love the poem! Good job and keep writing!