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This is very good poem. The emotions you have described are really vivid, and in a way, I can relate to them. When you long for a person, it is one of the most painful feelings ever. I don't find anything in the poem worth changing because it is, after all your poem.
" Every night you are not there
The only thing I desire here
Is the brick wall in front of me"
It is the best ending. I love these lines. Keep writing!

Hey 567ajt,
I see here a very strong poem so full of feeling it litterally made my heart ache. The only thing I should mention is that I don't understand what you meant by "Trapped in a cage like a false article."
There's so much emotion in this poem, I can tell you were going through some pretty tough stuff when you wrote it. I hope and pray everything turns out well for you.
Write on and God bless!
DragonGirl11

Thank you for the review Take note that during the writing of this poem, I wasn't your most happiest person, so I really had no plan in my head of what it was going to be structured like. Sure I may have wanted to add extra words, but I felt a little bit offended when you wrote BAD TRANSITION under the first verse. You may not have intended that, but I did feel a tiny bit annoyed about the fact that I wrote this very personal poem and you call it's transition from first verse to next 'bad'. I am sorry if you are confused about that...but I think a better word should have been used. I also felt that it wasn't really fitting how you added an extra line in the last verse. I understand that you are only trying to be helpful, but it is my poem, and I don't appreciate it when someone adds their own line to my poem because I feel that isn't right. I am sorry if it seems I am being snappy and totally ungreatful of your review, but maybe next time suggest another line rather than actually doing it. I was hurt writing this poem. To call a simple transition bad to me makes me a little upset.

So I woke up today
And had the worst feeling
My nails are filthy
My eyes are splitting.
bad transition

Since tonight will be the night
And the heart will be the spot
All I need to do now
Is ask for the knife

Kiss me all over my face
It won't change a thing
Convicted of a crime I had to commit
Trapped in a cage like a [*]bird without wings[*]

I bleed for you and I still cry
through painful tears and tired eyes
Every night you are not there
The only thing I desire, here
Is the brick wall in front of me

Great poem. Love the imagery painted as well as the message given. It could not be more real. Keep it up.