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This is very good poem. The emotions you have described are really vivid, and in a way, I can relate to them. When you long for a person, it is one of the most painful feelings ever. I don't find anything in the poem worth changing because it is, after all your poem.
" Every night you are not there
The only thing I desire here
Is the brick wall in front of me"
It is the best ending. I love these lines. Keep writing!

Hey 567ajt,
I see here a very strong poem so full of feeling it litterally made my heart ache. The only thing I should mention is that I don't understand what you meant by "Trapped in a cage like a false article."
There's so much emotion in this poem, I can tell you were going through some pretty tough stuff when you wrote it. I hope and pray everything turns out well for you.
Write on and God bless!
DragonGirl11

Thank you for the review Take note that during the writing of this poem, I wasn't your most happiest person, so I really had no plan in my head of what it was going to be structured like. Sure I may have wanted to add extra words, but I felt a little bit offended when you wrote BAD TRANSITION under the first verse. You may not have intended that, but I did feel a tiny bit annoyed about the fact that I wrote this very personal poem and you call it's transition from first verse to next 'bad'. I am sorry if you are confused about that...but I think a better word should have been used. I also felt that it wasn't really fitting how you added an extra line in the last verse. I understand that you are only trying to be helpful, but it is my poem, and I don't appreciate it when someone adds their own line to my poem because I feel that isn't right. I am sorry if it seems I am being snappy and totally ungreatful of your review, but maybe next time suggest another line rather than actually doing it. I was hurt writing this poem. To call a simple transition bad to me makes me a little upset.

So I woke up today
#FF00FF ">And had the worst feeling
My nails are filthy
My eyes are splitting#FF0000 ">.
#008000 ">bad transition

#FF0000 ">Since tonight will be the night
And the heart will be the spot
All I need to do now
Is ask for the knife

Kiss me all over my face
It won't change a thing
Convicted of a crime I had to commit
Trapped in a cage like a [*]#FF0000 ">bird without wings[*]

I bleed for you and I still cry
#FF0000 ">through painful tears and tired eyes
Every night you are not there
The only thing I desire#FF0000 ">, here
Is the brick wall in front of me

Great poem. Love the imagery painted as well as the message given. It could not be more real. Keep it up.