Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.
Summer time, I'm all alone again
What to do with no shred of authority
Childhood games, run and hide?
Stabbing mannequins; 2005
My parents left a note
With some contrived apology
They wish me well in future endeavours
Whatever they may be
Tried so hard to define myself
But only found an empty unfinished CV
Application for the world
Gotta remain and stir up teenage resistance
Clench a fist to honour human pity
Defend a commune- how shitty
Our borders stretch to the East
To you and I; them and we
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that (a cause that)
Will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that (a cause that)
Will end in tears
All these house parties
Don't lift my spirits
Nothing spirits can do
To equate this sour taste
By laws of nature
And methods of anguish
Persuasion halted
Ideals stumped and raped
I will not move with haste
(By laws of nature)
(By laws of nature)
(By laws of nature)
(by laws of nature)
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that (a cause that)
Will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that will end in tears
Gonna be a martyr
For a cause that (a cause that)
Will end in tears
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Hello ^^ Seb here for a review
Reviewing songs most definitely isn't my strong suit, but I'll give it a shot.
When I was reading this piece, I was a little confused. I had trouble getting a grasp on what was going on, but that may not be a fault on your part; I'm a little tired, so I'm having a little trouble comprehending, well, anything
I liked these two lines. The rhyming was good, and I like the fact that you chose to use a semi-colon to separate "mannequins" and "2005." Granted, you wouldn't be able to notice that if this was sung, but still.
Like I said earlier, I'm a little confused--but here more so than anywhere else. The "future endeavors" thing threw me off.
Since these are lyrics, I don't think simply reading them on a screen does them justice. There would be a lot more power to them if I heard them sung, so it's a shame that this is the only format you're able to present it in. I enjoyed the lyrics, and I especially liked the chorus. Good job with this, and keep writing!
Hello ^^ Seb here for a review
Reviewing songs most definitely isn't my strong suit, but I'll give it a shot.
When I was reading this piece, I was a little confused. I had trouble getting a grasp on what was going on, but that may not be a fault on your part; I'm a little tired, so I'm having a little trouble comprehending, well, anything
I liked these two lines. The rhyming was good, and I like the fact that you chose to use a semi-colon to separate "mannequins" and "2005." Granted, you wouldn't be able to notice that if this was sung, but still.
Like I said earlier, I'm a little confused--but here more so than anywhere else. The "future endeavors" thing threw me off.
Since these are lyrics, I don't think simply reading them on a screen does them justice. There would be a lot more power to them if I heard them sung, so it's a shame that this is the only format you're able to present it in. I enjoyed the lyrics, and I especially liked the chorus. Good job with this, and keep writing!
Hi! I don't know much about lyrics but here we go!
I really enjoy this. It sounds like a song that has a lot of teenage angst in it. I would love to know the inspiration behind this piece, as it seems to have a lot of deep meaning.
I can't really say I have a critique for this piece. It's uniform in meaning, and doesn't skip around to different things. It's very strictly to the main idea, and can't really confuse people. I'd love to hear this as a song, as I can't really imagine what it would sound like, although I'm sure there's a nice catchy rhythm that goes with it.
To me, this song really signifies teenage freedom. When parents are absent and there is nothing left for the kid but their own thoughts and the idea that they are against the whole of society. It sounds like this kid is troubled by the normal way kids rebel; parties and drinking. It's almost as if they feel it's all so old and there needs to be a bigger, much more intense resistance. Like they're dedicated to the cause more than others and want to make a change. Am I thinking in the right direction?
Anyways, keep writing lyrics. Or poems or short stories or novels, whatever you like. I'd live to see more from you in the future, as this was very well done.
Hello!
Emilykay10144 here...
Well first off, this lyrical piece is really deep and I love all the words that you used to capture it.
I really like these lines. I was wondering if maybe "whatever" was supposed to be "wherever". I don't know, I'm just wondering.
This is a really good piece and I like it a lot. I think there could be some commas here and there, but that's only a suggestion.
Keep up the great work!
-Emilykay10144