Published August 20, 2011
JUST THE FIVE OF US
WRITTEN BY ADAM
We start off as we fade in to a cd player. The song Help! by The Beatles plays. The opening credits roll over a montage of empty parts of a city. When the song ends, the camera pans over to JERRY KEATON unconscious. He wakes up. He scratches his head. The camera pans over to the landscape and back to him.
What the hell?
Suddenly, someone jumps up on him from behind. The person is roaring, and showing it’s teeth. Jerry pushes it off. He looks over. Another one is running towards him. But then, the zombie running flies back. Jerry looks confused. Cut to the other zombie. It is stumbling to it’s feet. A foot goes on it’s body. The camera pans up. LEE BENNET is holding a gun. We hear a gunshot. He turns. Cut to Jerry. He stands up. Lee approaches him.
Name?
Jerry Keaton. Yours?
Lee Bennet. Have you been bitten or scratched?
No. I don’t think so.
We dissolve into them walking down a path.
Why are you here? In this park?
I don’t know anything. I just blacked out.
You didn’t know?! How- Ok. Let’s get this straight. You can remember only BEFORE the events?
I already told you, Lee. Besides what were those things?
Zombies. You know, Left 4 Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, “They’re coming to get you Barbara”, nothing?
I know what a zombie is. I thought they were only myth.
Well, technically they're not zombies, but they very much act like them. This is how it all started. In 2011, Barack Obama announced that scientists would reanimate body parts that were either removed or forcefully taken off. It backfired. The things that they used contained a new type of super bug, some kind of bacteria. It didn’t do the trick, but it did have a deadly effect. It passed on through one of the scientists. They passed it onto Obama. Then to here in the cities in England. The only part that is safe is the countryside.
Really? How many left?
Including you and me, 5.
Oh.
Just the five of us, I guess.
We dissolve into them meeting with FRED MANN.
Fred, this is Jerry. A survivor we found.
Nice to meet you. I guess.
Why is he, um, depressed?
His best friend had to be killed. Turned into a zombie.
It’s ok, he won’t make the same mistake, you know?
Well, where’s the house?
Across the road. We’ll need some supplies. And perhaps sooner than we thought.
Yep, and Jerry, you can talk with Dean who leads the operation and even Harvey.
Harvey hates people who can’t fire guns.
Regardless, he has to come. He’s not safe here. None of us are.
ZOMBIE!
Cut to the other side of the field. Another zombie is running towards them. Cut to Lee. He whips out his gun and fires. Cut to the zombie. It falls down. Cut back to them. Jerry wipes his head.
What things do we need?
Ammo. And a lot of it. Luckily, the military failed to take them down, so we took some guns. See if there is more ammo, Fred. Particularly machine gun.
Why?
I just want to pump them full of lead before I shoot their heads. Only way to kill them by the way, Jerry.
I know. From movies.
Lets not waste time, let’s go.
We dissolve into them approaching a house. Fred is carrying a machine gun, a scythe and 2 pistols.
Can someone help me, please? This is WAY too heavy.
Sorry, man. Can’t do anything about that.
He knocks the door. Out steps DEAN COLE.
Hey Lee, Fred, and you must be Jerry. Lee’s my step brother; he told me about you on the phone on the way here.
Where’s Harvey?
Inside, I’ll call him. HARVEY!
Out steps HARVEY TAYLOR.
Who’s this?
Jerry. A new guy.
Hello.
I don’t like him.
He goes inside. They others sigh and roll their eyes.
Is he ok?
He’s always like that. Friends murdered at the same time. They were zombies.
What’s the situation?
It’s gone critical. They’ve gotten smarter. We need to move. To the countryside.
How? Just-
Harvey swings the door open.
Ok, newbie, you got what it takes?
Cut to the outside. He is practising his shooting.
Fire!
Jerry shoots. Harvey laughs and claps.
Good, in less than 3 minutes, you now know how to use a gun. You need that in close combat, so aim for the head. As well as using blunt objects like bats.
Well, thanks Harvey. Very much. What about using hands? They say you know how to.
That’s coming up.
Cut to inside. Lee is putting crisps in bowls and Dean is cutting some vegetables.
What should we do, when the food runs out?
I may be smart, but I ain’t that smart.
Oh really? You were a lawyer, before this whole thing happened
Well, since Melissa and that, I’ve-
Come on, Lee. That was 2 years ago. You did the right thing.
Kill my own child?!
It was gonna become a zombie! She was bitten whilst in labour at the evacuation site. That’s when I found you. Remember?
She was left for dead! BY ME! And my- my stupid ways.
Fred enters.
There’s some heading this way.
Well, let’s go.
Cut to outside. Harvey turns and runs into the house. Jerry stands there. Harvey turns back to Jerry.
What are you waiting for?!
Jerry runs inside. Cut to outside. Jerry goes out of the house. Lee is shooting a zombie with a machine gun, Fred gives Jerry a gun, and Jerry starts shooting, Fred goes back to what he was doing which was hitting one of the zombies, Harvey picks up a pistol and shoots some zombies and Dean is having a fight with one of them. Cut to Dean. He kicks the zombie, and punches it repeatedly. When done, he spits on the body. Cut to Harvey. He fights off two zombies and shoots them both back to back. Cut to Jerry. He almost gets bitten, but shoots it up through it’s mouth. Cut to the zombie. Blood is all over it’s face. Cut to Lee. 3 zombies corner him. He shoots away until they both fall down. Individually, he kicks their heads in. Cut to Fred. He’s beating down on a zombie. He turns, and a zombie bites his neck. Cut to Jerry. He turns, and looks ahead.
Fred!
Cut to Fred. He falls down, blood all over his neck. Jerry runs to him, and shoots the zombie in the head. Lee runs to them. A zombie goes in his way, but he shoots it and when it goes on the floor he shoots it in the head. He picks Fred up. Cut to Harvey & Dean. As they finish of the remainder of the zombies, they look ahead. They run off screen. Cut to inside. Fred is on the sofa, sweating. Harvey is pacing.
You alright, Fred?
I think I’m gonna be sick.
Harvey sighs. He goes into the kitchen. Cut to the kitchen. Lee is loading a gun. Harvey bangs the table. Lee goes inside. Cut to Jerry. We hear a gunshot off screen. Jerry sighs. Lee goes in. He sighs as well. Harvey breathes heavily. Dean goes inside.
He’s in a better place now.
Harvey turns and punches him. Lee holds him back.
Did you even know him as long as I did?!
Calm down, Harvey! If I can control my anger, you could. Did you have a child? Which at just a few minutes old was killed because of a stupid virus?! NO! So shut up.
He pushes him away into the wall. Lee storms in. Cut to the garden. Dean is putting soil onto the ground. He looks down.
Goodbye, my friend.
The song Fifty On Our Foreheads by White Lies plays over a montage of them sitting around, boarding up windows and packing bags. When the song ends, they sit down.
Well, the car’s on full petrol. We’ll make it to Norfolk. Easy.
You sure?
When he says we are moving, we really are moving.
When shall we set off?
In the morning.
That’ll be good, they won’t see us.
Besides, they’ll go hungry.
They could eat themselves.
The flesh would be rotten.
I’ll get some supplies, from over the road. I’ll bring a gun.
Cut to outside. He is walking down the street. He looks over. A zombie runs over to him. He shoots it. Another one comes, but he punches it and shoots it while on the ground. Cut back to the house. Harvey is looking out of the window.
He’s good with a gun, that’s for sure.
He’d better be careful. Those things are deadly.
Don’t worry. He’ll be alright.
He smiles. Cut to Harvey. He looks confused.
He was there a minute ago.
Cut to Dean. A zombie is mauling him. Another set of zombies approach. Cut back to the house. Lee looks shocked.
Dean!
Cut back to Dean. More zombies approach him. He presses his gun. It’s out. He screams. Lee runs towards them and shoots them off.
You ok?
Yeah.
He turns and faces the house. He gives a thumbs up towards it. He looks down. Dean is gone. We hear screaming and rustling of the bushes. He looks through the bushes but he can’t find anything. Cut back to the house. He closes the door and rushes in. He puts more stuff in the bags.
We’ll have to leave quicker than I thought!
Why? Where’s Dean?
He was taken, I know he was.
Probably, yes.
Come on, we’ll set off at, like, 7am in the morning.
No. No. I want revenge. We have to kill them.
Relax, will ya?! He’s dead and gone, okay?! Like Fred, like Melissa, like my soul!
Your soul, ain’t my problem!
Lee punches him. Harvey falls down. Harvey runs upstairs. Cut to Harvey. He goes inside and locks the door. Cut back to the two.
Anything I could-
Tomorrow……we’ll kill those little suckers.
We dissolve into a bedroom, the lights are on, the curtains are drawn and Jerry is reading a book. Lee enters the room.
What are you reading?
A comic book.
Which one?
Sin City.
Is it good?
I could read it to you.
Knock yourself out.
Ok. “I feel lousy in a lousy part in a lousy town. In deep thought, I look into the eyes of a goddess. Her name was Goldie.”
While saying this, Lee drifts off to sleep. We dissolve into Lee sitting around in a house. There is a knock on the door. A man sits up and opens it. Suddenly, zombies jump on him. Another zombie approaches Lee. He screams. Cut to the bedroom. He wakes up. Jerry puts down his comic book.
You ok?
I had a nightmare.
A zombie jumps up from the bed and grabs Jerry. Lee screams. Cut to the bedroom again. He wakes up. He looks around. Jerry is asleep. He sighs.
Tomorrow it is.
He goes back to sleep. We fade out. Fade in to the street. We cut to several empty parts. We cut to inside. Harvey is sitting in a chair. There’s a thump. He stands up. He looks over. He gulps. He rushes off screen. Cut to the bedroom. He enters. He shakes both of them.
Harvey?
What is it?
They’ve completely broken the lock. They’re-they-they’re coming in.
Crap! Ok, lets go.
I’ll get the machine gun this time.
I’ll get the bat from the garden.
And I’ll get the pistol.
Cut to outside. Zombies are banging the door. Cut to the garden. Harvey is looking around. He looks up. He gulps. Cut to the other side. Dean is there, panting. Cut back to Harvey.
Crap.
Cut to inside. Jerry runs out with the machine gun. A zombie gets in. He shoots it. Cut to lee. He is shooting from the window. Cut to outside. A zombie falls down. Cut to the garden. Harvey is trying to fight off Dean. He dodges Dean. He pushes him off.
So, you tried to kill me, huh? You were always as pathetic as-
Another zombie jumps on him. Dean gets up. Suddenly, more come for him. They proceed to eat him. Blood comes out of his mouth. Cut to the zombies. They are ferociously eating parts of him. Cut back to Harvey. He closes his eyes. Lee runs out, and shoots them. He looks at Harvey’s body. Then at Dean.
I’m sorry, Dean.
He shoots Dean. Dean falls down. Cut to his face. Blood is coming from his forehead. Cut to Jerry. He is still shooting a couple of zombies trying to get in. He reloads.
Lee?! I need your help!
Lee enters the room. He shoots a couple of the zombies. When he tries to reload, he drops to the floor. He is rolling across the floor. Cut to the living room. He stumbles to his feet. Cut to Jerry. He picks up the pistol and shoots one in the head. He goes into the living room. Cut to the living room. Jerry is helping Lee up.
Come on, Lee. Still some fight to go. We’re gonna fight them off and- Lee?
Lee roars. He pushes him away. Jerry locks the door. He picks up his machine gun. He pulls the trigger. It is out. He picks up the pistol. He busts the door open. He accidentally puts the safety on. Lee collides into him. They both struggle. Jerry reaches out for the gun. He hits Lee with the butt of the gun. He gets up, and puts the safety off. He shoots Lee. He puts it down.
I’m-so…sorry.
Suddenly, the door busts open. 2 more zombies go in. He shoots them both. He runs into the garden. Cut to the garden. He looks down at Harvey’s body and then Dean’s.
That’s where you went.
He runs to the end of the garden. Cut to the street. A zombie approaches him, but he shoots it. He approaches a car. He puts the key in. He turns. More zombies are approaching him.
Come on!
He eventually opens it. He shoots the zombies. Cut to inside the car. The song Death by White Lies plays. He starts it up. Cut to the windscreen. It is driving down the road. The car drives away. Cut to the inside of the car.
I’ll…be…ok-
But then, he brakes. We go into darkness. The credits roll.
THE END
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F@ck me. This is like the longest piece I have read on here ever. I haven't seen many scripts and I certainly didn't expect one from you. LOL
I know you think Media is a Mickey Mouse subject, but I can critique you in A* terms here, so brace yourself...
1. The dialogue is good. Could do with being made a bit more dramatic in places. Such as: 'That’s where you went.' Hmmm.... Doesn't exactly entice the viewer if you get my drift?
2. You 'cut' an awful lot in your script. Kind of funny actually. XD Anyway... no, you seem to have understand how you would move around from shot to shot and scene to scene and the ordering is good.
As for the content of the script as well, I think there are already plenty of this sort of film out there, so no marks for originality unfortunately, but I don't think that's what we're aiming for here.
I liked it overall... but I wouldn't expect an Oscar any time soon.
~Bloodink
Oh I love zombie films! My first advice, before reading this though is to organise it like a script. The name of each speaker should be aligned on the left and followed by a colon which looks like this : It just makes it easier to follow and is good practice for the future as schools and agents expect scripts to be in standard formatting ^^
Here Lee jumps to conclusions too quickly! The guy only said that he doesn't remember why he was on the bench, he hasn't said that he doesn't remember anything at all. Don't build on dialogue that isn't there.Specific Comments
Alright, first you get a quick lesson in grammar. You've used it's in a lot of places where it should have been its. Now normally, apostrophe s can be used in two ways, both for possession and as a conjunction. So it is becomes it's and the leg belonged to it becomes it's leg. Except that doesn't happen. It's leg is actually wrong as, to avoid confusion, the grammar experts decided it's should just be used to mean it is.
Noooo! Avoid long, boring monologue explanations wherever possible. This is an action script, by now there should be some more zombies on screen chasing after them. This guy can not just stand there and talk about bacteria and scientists. Also, maybe add some more stage directions so that we know how these people are saying their lines, how they look and what they're doing. A script without stage directions is very static.
I must say, I love how matter of fact they are and I love the movie knowledge and stuff. Films and books forget about that too often and have people screaming and being stupid. I like how your characters are handling the situation.
This is a lot of action all in one big chunk! Is there no dialogue during this part? It would be pretty boring to watch on screen if there's not at least some screaming or someone crying out for help, or just little pieces. Remember that you with scripts, you need to intersperse the dialogue and the action so that you have a good level of each and there's always both sound and action.
Overall
Alright so you had some good action here but I didn't really get a chance to care for your characters or to hear their back-stories before they died. So if you were planning to re-write this, you might want to work that in more. But there was some good dialogue going on here, a few funny moments and some nice zombie destroying actions. All in all, not a bad attempt. Thanks for the read,
Heather xxx
I'll be honest I'm not into zombie films, or games. The closest to zombie I get is I Am Legend, which this reminds me a lot of.
Question:Where do they get ammo from? It seems like they just kinda get it from no where.Anyway, I have a lot to point out, but overall I want to say it wasn't a bad script. I don't know too much about scripts, but I'm assuming they wouldn't include a lot of details. However, I feel like there should be some details especially when describing city scapes and the house and what not. But that's a minute opinion of mine that doesn't really matter. Anyway, here's what I found.
Question: Harvey was randomly out praciticing shooting and Jerry just kinda goes out back with him? Or is it Jerry out practicing originally and Harvey just sort of yelling? What's he shooting at?
This happens a lot. "It" refers to zombie in this case, but try to watch your pronouns some, because with such a fast moving script it's easy to mistake "it"s for something they aren't.
This a good spot to include some imagery. I mean, it's a script, so like I said before there shouldn't be too much detail, but little words of it wouldn't hurt at all.
Okay in this scene, did Harvey actually land his punch and Lee held him back before he did more damage? I got confused here.
What's Dean putting soil on the ground for? I'm assuming it's for the death of his friend, but I wasn't sure...
Empty parts of the city/town? Or the forest? That little sentence is slightly confusing.
I think it's a pretty good script. I mean, it is three years old so I know you've probably come a long way from this. It's very fast movingy; one second Jerry is completely and unexplainably unconcious, the next he's killing the last of his living friends. Who'd have thought?
Don't worry- it's posted now
Ummm...mind you but...I don't see anything here. I just tried to post a photgraph and all my points just went up in smokes!!! Holy! What script again???