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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
567Ajt,
Certainly, this is a piece that is fraught with emotion, and even if I didn't know the back-story, I definitely get the sense of the speaker's inner turmoil. The voice here is strong, there's this sense of a sad and bitter tone, one that is contemplative too, and reflecting back to past moments, trying to find possible answers.
I like the "if only she spoke to me" part. Sometimes there are no answers, and I like how this doesn't try to give us any answers. We'll just always keep wondering and yearning for them.
I do like the rhythm and sounds throughout this piece. Sounds like mourning, I like how there's this sort of helplessness behind it. I like also the chorus-y parts - and the repetition of Kristina's name.
That second line runs a bit too long, I would perhaps break it at "friend", and have the next part omitted or as a new line of its own. I might try to implement a bit more imagery, maybe portray Kristina's life more, or the impact Kristina has on the speaker. Just possible suggestions.
I hope this helps. And I hope everything is okay.
~ as always, Audy