Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
Do you want a coffee?
No.
What do you want then?
The best steak in the house. Medium rare, slightly bloody, no brown inside.
This is a café.
As I expected; I see etiquette isn't on your menu.
Why have you come here then?
To explore this region, one of desolation, to see if I can scrape any gold from the bottom of this most treacherous of barrels.
Well, if you're gonna be like that, I will have to ask you to leave.
But darling- I'm Lord Rothschild, third cousin to Her Majesty!
Don't care; get out.
Oh. I see how it is. You peasants wouldn't know what privilege was if it smacked you in the face.
Well? Go.
Before I leave, I want everyone's attention to let them know I'm going!
I think you've had your fair share, you dick.
No. It's Lord Rothschild.
Whatever. Fuck off.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
You've got such a wonderfully creative mind, Adam. ^^
I see you were going for a humorous touch here, which in that case, I applaud you. This was very interesting to read.
Works with only dialogue can be rather daring, as you can bounce from boring to interesting in a second if you use the right words. The cool thing about doing this is that what your work lacks in imagery, you can make up by weaving poetry into your words. You didn't necessarily do that here, but you did make up for it by the humor, which is a nice switch.
I do think the waiter went from nonchalant to rude in a second, especially since this is a lord. If you were going for a fantasy/royal setting, then that was rather out of place, since a peasant wouldn't dare speak to a lord like that.
Lastly, while it was nice to read, I think it fell rather short, especially with the length. I was hoping the fight/argument would drag out a bit more, and I doubt that such a lord would just walk out after a peasant insults him such. He should have him beheaded or something of the sort. I suggest making it longer and adding a bit more to it, so it's juicier and there's more to critique. Plus, I know you could make it escalate more and give us a good laugh.
-Iggy
I am not quite sure what this is (in terms of type of work), which makes reviewing kinda hard, not knowing what to write about. But this is woefully under reviewed, so I shall do my best. Firstly I would like to say well done. It flows well, and it does seem to have a feeling of realism to the dialogue. There is only one point I can criticize, and that is that I don't think that any shop attendants, waiters/waitresses or employees of any kind would resort to swearing, as this might give them a repetition, and put them on a legal low ground. This is just a hunch however, I have no experience in the matter.
Keep up the good work,
Take That You Fiend!
intresting.