Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
We'll dance to the backdrop
Of a thousand skinned bodies
Let the good times roll
Let the good times take hold
We'll dance to the sound
Of gun shots in Gaza
Let the good times make you glee
Let the gold times make you feel bold
We're moving to the beat
Of militant drums
Marching into No Man's Land
With the blaring radio
We're adding to fanfare
Trumpets soaked in child's blood
Footprints on a few victims
Who had nowhere else to go
We're consolidating
The powers of the powers that be
Preserving their blood
For another millennia
Let the fun times grip you
Hook you in with no release
Don't think- just do
It's either that or failure
I'd rather be an apostate
Than still in shackles and chains
Free will without freedom
What kind of sense is that?
Money's the new religion
Makes a suit and tie squeal
No transaction?
Time to make our enemies go splat!
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I think you have quite the song here. I like how it is political, and brutally honest. The last stanza is really rebellious, kinda saying no to the norm and doing it your own way.
This makes me think of something Green day would write. The only thing I thought it was missing was a chorus. Otherwise, amazing job!!
I think you have some good lyrics here. It points out a lot of political problems in our world, and it's kind of heart-breaking to read. The casualness of the speaker adds depth. I loved the repetition. You put this in lyrical, so I'm wondering if you're planning on making this into a song. If you end up posting a recording, please share it with me, because I'm very interested in listening to it.
I think it's interesting that even though these are lyrics, you don't have a chorus. I think it flows well without one, because of the repetition in the stanzas. Also, in the first stanza, in the last two lines. You use good in one and gold in the other. Was that intentional or was it a typo? It works well either way.
All the way around I really liked this.
Hegggggggggggggggggggo! XD
(Just spotted another blood reference too) XD
Fiancee here to review da work.
So...
'We'll dance to the backdrop
Of a thousand skinned bodies' #icky imagery. XD
No, I really like the way you open with such strong structure and statements. As usual you are dealing with a big issue in your work and you handle it in a very respectful way.
The repetition at certain points:
Eg. ‘Let the good times roll
Let the good times take hold’
You’ve the irony of the devil here to put this in amongst your subject matter. But you do this ad it’s what makes your works stand out.
The imagery of dancing: ‘We’re moving to the beat, Of militant drums…’ again is a stark contrast, and works strangely well (as in, still respectful.)
All great writers have a motif in their work. You have two here:
1. Trumpets soaked in child’s blood – blood is your thing
2. I’d rather be an apostate – this is also your thing.
‘Money's the new religion
Makes a suit and tie squeal
No transaction?
Time to make our enemies go splat!’
These are my favourite lines from the whole piece. I also believe they are some of (if not THE) best lines you have EVER written. You are basically commenting on how selfish society has become to value money so highly; and how that would upset the business basics. And if how there is no deal it’s basically war.
This is a great comment on modern people. Despite showing humankind in a bad light, it’s accurate and honest and I love that about your writing.
I also love you. Immensely.
-hugs-