Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, Ardensfax. In the name of the Knights of the Green Room and our Most Sacred and Tireless Quest to ensure that no works go unreviewed in the realm of the Literary Area, here I have come to free your long unreviewed piece from its state of reviewlessness on this fine Review Day. I hope you don’t mind. :3
First things first, I'm puzzled as to why this entire poem is italicized. Italics are best used to emphasize particular words or phrases or scenes, and they can be quite tiring for a reader to read, especially on a screen. As it is, I really don't see a purpose to having the entire poem italicized, aside from making it look "prettier", which really isn't a good enough reason to do anything in a poem.
This line didn't make much sense to me on my first read through, and it still doesn't make much sense to me now. Did you perhaps mean "where I stand" instead?
This line read quite awkwardly. I would recommend rephrasing it to something more like "he only lived today" or "he just lived for today".
And then the ending just fell apart for me because I couldn't see the connections between the ideas in the different stanzas. Part of this has to do with the introduction of a third person, "you", when the poem up until that point only had two characters: the narrator and the wicker man. The other part has to do with the lack of focus at the end. What is it precisely that you were trying to say with this piece? It should become evident by the end of the poem, rather than being introduced at the end of the piece, and I feel that that is what happened. And because it was introduced at the end, there's no lead up to it, which makes it much weaker than it could be, if you lead into it from earlier in the poem.
You had a nice start too, with some very nice images. If you could just focus the poem overall, it would be much stronger for it.