Family 1: - Perry Kehila (Househusband)
- Marta Kehila (Manager at Standard Chartered Bank)
- Xanthe Kehila (16 year old Daughter - Blogger)
Family 2: - Daniel Kehila (Actuary at AVIVA)
- Justine Kehila (Housewife)
- Harrison Kehila (17 year old Son - Ultimate Frisbee Player)
- Sarah Kehila (18 year old Daughter - Loves Green Technology)
Family 3: - Kai Kehila (Own Start-Up Business - Lite Designs)
- Eliza Kehila (Philanthropist)
- Vincent Kehila (16 year old Son - Gamer)
(Time to wake up)
PERRY - Xanthe! Xanthe! Wake up! it's 6:30!
XANTHE - (Sleepy) Just another hour please.
PERRY - Xanthe, wake up.
XANTHE - Dad, come on.
PERRY - (To Marta) Marta!! She's not waking up!
(From the bathroom)
MARTA - Deal with it!
(Perry removes the quilt off Xanthe)
XANTHE - Dad!
PERRY - Get up!
(Meanwhile - Harrison is taking up too much time in the other bathroom. David and Sarah are waiting in line)
DAVID - Could you hurry up!
HARRISON - No promises.
(Meanwhile - Kai and Eliza are sleeping in)
ELIZA - (Wakes up) Oh god, I almost forgot. Vincent! Wake up!
(She sees Vincent sitting on a beanbag - playing a game on his phone)
ELIZA - What? W-What're you doing?
VINCENT - Pokemon Go just came out.
ELIZA - How long were you awake?
VINCENT - (While trying to download the game) I don't know, you tell me.
ELIZA - I don't know that! You were the one who's doing this.
VINCENT - 98% 99% 100% Yes!! Oh shit, god damn it! This download shit takes too long.
ELIZA - Freshen up for school. No more of this nonsense.
VINCENT - No promises.
(At the breakfast table - all three families have assembled for breakfast - Perry and Justine are helping out in setting the food and table)
MARTA - Good morning.
DAVID - Good morning.
(Back to back everyone says good morning)
KAI - What's breakfast?
PERRY - Egg's Benedict.
ELIZA - What happened to Poached Eggs?
PERRY - It's still egg, alright.
ELIZA - Okay, okay.
JUSTINE - Orange Juice, anyone up for Orange Juice?
(they all have breakfast - in the end, the children head over on the bus to school, parents go off to work - remaining people stay at home)
(Once everyone cleared the house to their respective places - Perry and Justine are left. Along with Kai, surprisingly)
PERRY - Now that's over with.
JUSTINE - Just look at this mess.
PERRY - Vincent didn't even eat breakfast.
JUSTINE - He's always gaming, forget it.
(Kai shows up in the living room)
PERRY - What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?
KAI - I should be, but I want to test my latest product.
PERRY - Oh god, please, please don't.
KAI - You're a househusband, you have no shit to do, the least you could do is try my stuff out. Free off charge! Others need to pay big bucks for this stuff.
PERRY - Oh come on, that other day. You told me to try this product for feet, what was it called again? Deep Explosion Foot Peel?
KAI - Deep Exfoliation Foot Peel.
PERRY - Right. The first time, I landed up in getting blisters.
KAI - Well, we've got to test it on someone.
PERRY - On your family member?! You're just waiting for me to die right?
KAI - Hey! Come on! Not my fault you couldn't find a decent job.
PERRY - Do we have to seriously go down that road again?
KAI - You're a man, be a man. Like my sister.
PERRY - My wife, a.k.a your sister, works at a bank!
KAI - That's what I mean, find a job like that.
PERRY - Fine, I'll test it.
KAI - (Smiles) That's great.
PERRY - Cheap ass.
KAI - What was that?
PERRY - They pay people to do such tests.
KAI - You do it for free, which is what I like about you.
PERRY - (Pissed) What do you want this time?
(Kai and Perry are in the living room - Kai's new prototype design is brought out)
PERRY - What the hell is this?
KAI - It's a bed.
PERRY - What?! This is a bed?! Looks like an over-sized jewelry box.
KAI - Hey, Hey! As a designer, I wanted to design something for girls.
PERRY - I see, and where do I come in this?
KAI - Your the one who tests it.
PERRY - Let me get this straight. This is a bed.
KAI - Yes.
PERRY - With clam shells as the rims of the bed.
KAI - Yes.
PERRY - Not to mention, there's the over-sized clam shell head on top of me, when I sleep on this.
KAI - That's the idea.
PERRY - Tell me the truth, is this an actual design for girls? Or a very pretty coffin?
KAI - Just get in, and tell me how it feels.
PERRY - Alright!
(Perry jumps right onto the bed)
KAI - Hey! Don't jump on the bed like that!
PERRY - Hey come on, nearly every child wants to do that.
KAI - How does it feel?
PERRY - Quite good. Though my legs don't fit here, but that's fine. It's for children.
KAI - Exactly.
PERRY - Apart from that-
(The Clam Shell head closes Perry into the bed)
PERRY - Ah!! (in Pain).
KAI - (Cringing) Ouch. Y-You uh, you okay there?
PERRY - Let's remind ourselves that I'm in a freaking clam!!
KAI - I take that as a no. I think the back hinges aren't tight enough.
PERRY - What kind of shit idea is this?
KAI - I'm trying to understand whether or not we could sleep properly in the dark as such. It feels good, you know.
PERRY - Apart from the fact that this head is trying to cut my shins in half. If I were a kid like you, I'd say I'm still in my mother's womb.
KAI - Hey! No joking around!
PERRY - I'm just being honest here! You're getting first hand data from a guy inside a clam.
(At Standard Chartered Bank - Marta's Office)
MARTA - (Typing away on her computer - now attending a call) Marta Kehila....yes? Do send those cheques by evening....okay...right, thank you (drops the call).
(Marta goes downstairs to the canteen for lunch - she's eating lunch at her table. She's dialing to contact her husband)
KAI - Hey, your wife is calling (hands over the phone to Perry, who resting his injured shins on the sofa).
PERRY - (On the phone) Hey Honey!
MARTA - (On the phone) Hi! How are things going with you?
PERRY - Let's just say I was in a clam, (to Kai) for how long?
KAI - An hour.
PERRY - (To Marta) Yes, an hour.
MARTA - Is this a part of Kai's testing?
PERRY - Yes.
MARTA - Are you okay? You don't sound too good.
PERRY - The clam couldn't eat me whole.
MARTA - What?
PERRY - Forget it, how's work?
MARTA - Just the usual, nothing much. Xanthe has her finals coming up soon.
PERRY - Honey, school just started last week.
MARTA - Yes, but I want you to ensure she's back on track with straightening her stuff.
PERRY - Honey, I'm sure she can do that.
MARTA - Otherwise she's just doing what not on her laptop.
PERRY - Blogging, dear.
MARTA - Same thing.
PERRY - Okay, I got it. (drops the call).
KAI - How are your shins hanging in there?
PERRY - (Looking straight at Kai) Does it bother you?
KAI - No I mean, after lunch I'll be making some extra modifications to it. Maybe tonight?
PERRY - Give me the phone.
KAI - Why?
PERRY - I'm calling your brother.
KAI - David? Now why call-
PERRY - (Grabs the phone from Kai and contacts David) Hello? David? Yes, it's me Perry. If you could prepare an AVIVA insurance claim on my behalf, that would be great (drops the call).
(At Eliza's work place - discussing future projects)
ELIZA - (On the phone) Yes, my husband's personal assistant, please come in.
(Kai's personal assistant enters the office)
PA - Yes ma'am?
ELIZA - Husband is out testing the first prototype. How are the other designers doing?
PA - Going good, ma'am.
ELIZA - Yes, like said, I'm just covering for today.
PA - What did you call for?
ELIZA - Yes, just the analysis of profits made off our sales.
PA - (Whips out her iPad to show statistics) This quarter we made nearly 10 million sales in this country alone.
ELIZA - That's great.
PA - As of now we've made 2.5% profit off our sales.
ELIZA - How much does that account for?
PA - About $5 Million.
ELIZA - Okay. We'll do the usual - simply keep half for ourselves, and the other half for charity business.
PA - Ma'am, what's the hot news?
ELIZA - You remember the earthquake in Haiti?
PA - Yes, quite long ago.
ELIZA - Red Cross made tons of money to donate for the relief. It turns it out in the end, that this money was misspent.
PA - How?
ELIZA - A promise to restore homes of millions in the country, resulted in six homes being built.
PA - That's ridiculous.
ELIZA - I heard big names like Shaun Penn who helped build more homes. Apart from that, nothing much is happening.
PA - So you say we donate half our profits for home constructions in Haiti.
ELIZA - Exactly, but this is quite little. We'll keep a target of $10 Million, for relief to Haiti. I'll let my personal assistant know about these extra plans. For now, if you could split the profits, that would be great.
PA - Sure ma'am.
(After school - the bus has dropped the children at their house)
XANTHE - Can you believe Jack? That guy is such a duck.
HARRISON - What's with you and calling people ducks?
SARAH - I kind of like it. It's funny.
HARRISON - Since when does a duck make people laugh?
SARAH - Quack! Quack!
HARRISON - So immature, can't believe you're about to graduate.
SARAH - That's rude. At least I don't fling ducks!
HARRISON - Frisbee.
SARAH - Whatever. Where's Vinnie?
(Vincent is busy looking for Pokemon on his game)
HARRISON - Vinnie!
XANTHE - I got this. Oh look!! I found a Turtwig!
VINCENT - (Following his game) Where?! Where?!
ALL - Hahaha!!
VINCENT - Be fat and be quiet.
XANTHE - What?
HARRISON - Better than ducks!
(Now inside the house)
JUSTINE - How was your day guys?
SARAH - Good.
HARRISON - Same old, same old.
XANTHE - Nothing special.
(Vincent is silent)
JUSTINE - Vinnie? How was your day?
(Vincent doesn't respond)
JUSTINE - Still playing the game?
XANTHE - Looks like.
PERRY - Hey guys!
XANTHE - Hey dad!
PERRY - You better hit the books from today, your mom told me.
XANTHE - Dad, the exam is in 9 months.
PERRY - Still smaller than 365!
XANTHE - Wow.
PERRY - Begin to hit the books, or you're going to end up jobless.
KAI - (Walks in) Yes, like you.
VINCENT - (On his game) Hey dad.
KAI - Still playing that game of yours?
PERRY - Now, why does he get all the attention?
KAI - I have a job.
PERRY - Vinnie, your dad tried killing me, again!!
VINCENT - (Emotionless and on his game) That's great.
PERRY - Heh?!
KAI - It always works (smiles).
JUSTINE - Leave that aside, Perry.
PERRY - I'm still waiting on that insurance claim from your husband.
JUSTINE - O-Okay then?
VINCENT - (On his game) Oh wait! I-I found a Piplup!! (Looks ahead to see where it actually is - it's where Xanthe is)
XANTHE - W-What're you looking at me for?
VINCENT - (Begins to fling pokeballs at the direction where Xanthe) Come to me Piplup!!
HARRISON - No joke, this isn't Alaska!
SARAH - She sure looks like one.
XANTHE - Rude.
VINCENT - (Capture Piplup) Aha!! I got you!! I got you! (Looking at Xanthe) I got you!! You Duck!!! Hahaha!!!
(Xanthe is lost for words)
HARRISON - What does the duck say!! Quack Quack Quack Quack! (Parading around Xanthe like a Duck).
(Study Time Now)
XANTHE - (Peaks to check if his dad's gone) Not in the room! Not my problem! (Opens up Facebook).
(Vincent walks into the room - roaming with his Pokemon GO game)
XANTHE - (Notices him) What're you doing?
VINCENT - (Looking at his game) If I'm right, Psyduck must be around.....here!
XANTHE - How many ducks do we have in this place?!
VINCENT - Caught you!! Again!! (Rushes out of the room).
SARAH - (Walks in) I heard you were studying, your dad told me to bring you some water.
XANTHE - Thanks.
SARAH - Answer this joke correctly if you want water.
XANTHE - What's the joke?
SARAH - (Smile) Why did the duck explode?
XANTHE - (Pissed) Sarah, I-I'm through that.
SARAH - (Holding her laughter) Tell me, w-why did it explode?
XANTHE - I don't know, it ate bread with Habanero Sauce?
SARAH - No!
XANTHE - Then?
SARAH - Because it was in Michael's Bay!! Hahaha!! (runs out of the room).
XANTHE - You've been waiting ever since to pull that one, didn't you.
(Kai and Perry are in the living room - Kai is preparing for his second product test)
JUSTINE - Finished preparing dinner.
PERRY - That's great.
JUSTINE - What's happening here?
PERRY - Another test run.
JUSTINE - Careful, you just recovered from injuring your shins.
PERRY - Your husband should be coming with an isurance claim (smiles).
JUSTINE - I don't know how to respond to that.
KAI - Alright, it's all set up!
PERRY - Hinges are tight?
KAI - Yes.
PERRY - Bed is still comfy?
KAI - Yes.
PERRY - If that thing closes me in like a coffin!!
KAI - Then?
PERRY - Nothing, I-I'm out of counters.
KAI - Weak.
PERRY - I have a better idea. Why not, try it first hand, on an actual female! Since this is targeting female children!
JUSTINE - Girls, you mean.
PERRY - Same thing!
KAI - Fine then, Justine. Plop yourself in.
JUSTINE - This is going to be fun! (excited and plops herself on the bed).
PERRY - What? No warning for her?
KAI - She's a lady, she knows what she's doing.
(Perry is pissed)
JUSTINE - Nice and comfy, I like it. Don't I look like Ariel?
PERRY - Sure, except Ariel was a red-head.
JUSTINE - Sure, Perry. What's with this over-sized ceiling here?
KAI - That's just the clamhead top. With a mirror.
JUSTINE - Oh nice! So like, when we wake up. We can see how we look like.
KAI - Exactly! Now you get it.
JUSTINE - I love it, Kai. It's great for the girls.
PERRY - This is why you need to starting doing tests on women!
KAI - If I had known this earlier, I would've approached her before.
JUSTINE - Anytime, Kai.
PERRY - I guess, I'm no longer going to be your testing agent.
KAI - Oh you will be.
PERRY - You've got her!
KAI - Yes, but for the manly stuff. You need to come in.
PERRY - I'm not liking where this is going.
KAI - No, I'm taking it easy this time. A designer of ours, not exactly, came up with a book to sell.
PERRY - Oh you sell books too?
KAI - We just need to test the book on someone.
PERRY - Who tests books?
KAI - Just read the book and get back to me.
PERRY - What's the book called?
KAI - Here (takes out his phone) I have the book cover image on my phone.
(Kai shows the book cover image to Perry)
PERRY - Let's see (reading the book's title) How To Live With A Huge Penis (pissed) What?!
KAI - There's more, check the blurb.
PERRY - Oh! (Sarcastic) This has a blurb! (reads the blurb) Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for men who have too much (pissed reaction).
KAI - What do you think?
PERRY - Shove this up your ass.
END OF EPISODE 1