Published November 17, 2008
Seems like just about every other day
she's breaking down
nowhere to be found
pushed up against the wall
slowly losing it all
she wonder's what else is there left to fear
Tells herself she's not here
commanded to dance
she plunges further
round and round go her strings
In an endless waltz she'll spin
Further into her oblivion...
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,264 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
Great job Arashi! This was a very nice piece and I liked it very much. I loved the subject that it was pushing towards. Once again, great job. Keep writing!
I could kiss you hahaha its nice to be appreciated lol
ahh, my favourite subject...
first up, awsome!
you changed the pace a fair bit that's probably why it seems a bit... mmm... jumbled... is that a good word for it?
though bravo on your efforts i really liked it
keep on writing,
-grimy
Its lacking something that I cant quite put my finger on any suggestions? Much thanks
Arashi