I really liked this. I'm not an overly big fan of poetry, but I really liked this one. There was just something about it that I can't quite put my finger on. Keep up the good work! I can't wait for more of your poems! :D
I think it was
around this time
years ago
or so it seems
late September
early November
no we met
upon a bitter
sweet November
how I remember
seems like
one of those yesterdays
the kind that never
really wear away
deep inside it resides
knows no bounds of time
as days go by
I find it hard to belive
that luck smiled on me
what would I do
without you
and lately it seems
the more things change
they remain the same
Im caught in between
two parallel realities
Scream and scream
Nobody hears my pleas
At times its as if
your the air
I breath
your the sun
that shines down on me
everything is what you are
today more than any other day
I want to thank God
for putting you in my way
Happy Birthday...
I really liked this. I'm not an overly big fan of poetry, but I really liked this one. There was just something about it that I can't quite put my finger on. Keep up the good work! I can't wait for more of your poems! :D
You know what? I have decided that when I do get around to publishing I will pay someone to do it for me lol thanks for the advice I appreciate it 
I quite like this. Very nice.
However; the lack of punctuation and excessive spacing, in my opinion, made it quite hard to read. I tried to put the correct punctuation in but I don't know how you talk so I couldn't get it right. I think what you need to do is either make the lines longer and break them in more logical places OR keep the line breaks (which, although unusual, I actually quite like) and put the correct punctuation, or at least some of it.
Just a couple of little things also
I breathe
you're the sun
the more things change
they remain the same
Right I will bear that in mind hahah I remember this one time I changed my whole poem because my friend wanted me to I ended up almost killing her for making me kill my poem lol I get what youre saying though to each his own
Thanks
Lol! Don't be sorry, it really isn't important what I or anyone else on this site (for that matter) thinks about your poetry. You are the only one who can really judge your work properly.
All I am here for is to help you notice things that you might not.
I did enjoy it very much though.
Love
Kris
x
Right sorry about that lol will take your advice in consideration ahhh just copied it of my notes lol to lazy to edit the spaces lol thanks for the review.
Well done. 
This poem was pretty well executed. All I would say didn't work was the formatting. It was far too blockey... This made for a very stilted read; somewhat like riding a bike down a cobbled road - a little uncomfortable.
However, everything else was fine. Your thoughts were defined and your imagery was very emotive without straying into the depths of purple prose ( A trend that seems to be becoming more and more common).
Kudos.
Love
Kris
x
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