It's Tough to Be a Teenager

Hi,

I thought you did a great poem that really expresses your feelings in the flowing lines.
I totally agree with you on most accounts of this poem and you showed your feelings by writing it in a smooth poem that thoroughly kept me reading.
With the ryming lines,it creates a smooth flowing piece that I enjoyed because it has a rhythm in it.
I don't know about you but I really felt the feeling behind it all.

One nitpick though,(sorry) is that I thought it would lay more suspense or just better structure if you could separate the lines so it was one after the other? Just a suggestion.

Thanks for posting and I think you did an excellent job!

Hello, April! I'm Rose, and I'm here to review this piece today.

First off, welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here as much as I do. If you have any questions about the site or there's anything at all I can help you with, feel free to contact me and I'll help you out in any way that I can. Now, on to the review!

There are some very nice elements to this piece. The emotions you were trying to portray in this piece came through loud and clear; I understand that you're different than your friends and that you're frustrated with your current position in life. I do have a few suggestions, the first dealing with how you've formatted this piece.

How you organize poetry is very important. I don't claim to be a master poet - there are certainly quite a few on this site alone that outdo me by leaps and bounds - but I do know a little bit about it. If I were going to organize this piece, I would do the following:

"It's tough to be a teenager today.
No one really knows
what the pressure is like in school;
this is how it goes.

I wake up every morning,
and stare into this face.
I wanna be good lookin',
but I feel like a disgrace.

My friends they seem to like me
if I follow through with their dare,
but when I try to be myself,
they never seem to care."

See how much more your writing stands out when it's organized in this way? You already have an awesome piece of work here, but it can shine even more if you display it in a way that allows each word to be recognized.

This is my favorite part:

"I wake up every morning,
and stare into this face.
I wanna be good lookin',
but I feel like a disgrace."

The reason I chose this as my favorite part of the poem is because you've established a rhythm in this stanza. It's smooth and easy to read. The feelings you're explaining are ones I can identify with, which makes me like them. I would've liked to see more of the same rhythm throughout the rest of the poem; again, if you focus on organizing your poem a little more, you'll be able to detect the rhythm much easier and thus improve.

Overall, very nice! Remember, if you disagree with anything I say, feel free to disregard it. My opinion is just that: my opinion. If you like your piece the way it is, stick with it. Your unique views are what will set you apart from other writers. Do not sacrifice them if you believe strongly in them.

Always keep writing!

-Rosie

I don't really have any suggestions to make so I won't mark this as a review, but this is amazing. I loved it and honestly a lot of it was like how I feel right now. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. You're really talented and I like the whole beat of the writing amazing job.