AN: the poem is uncapitalised as a stylistic choice.
Hello! I’ve come to review your poem. First thing I want to say is WOW. I love how it feels like the girl is lost and trying to find her place. Hence, letting the light in, ”Swallowing the sun”. But what is her pain? Why is she taking this great leap in life? I have no idea what her motives are. Are they up for us, the readers, to decide?Other than that, I find this to be a VERY underrated poem. Great job! I wish you a wonderful day/night.
Just a tiny side comment, though I'm not sure if anyone will agree: Maybe have the text itself which can be copy-pasted in a separate section below the poem proper for easier reviewing (comments, quotes, finding text). Probably not necessary 'cause poems are mostly short 😅, and I know formatting and whatnot can take unnecessary amounts of extra time.Nice poem~ :3 And it's relatable; I remember writing a similar one ages ago. 😆
Apricity I miss your poetry <3 please keep writing! :] Just a short comment here for the comment bonanzaI really love the metaphor of the "radio static" as a metaphor for loosing your voice/words - it's very creative but makes total sense, and each of the images you use are just so beautifully described and laced together. It's hard to make the topic of "writer's block" seem new, but you certainly succeed and paint some beautiful pictures and emotions while doing so. If I was writing this I'd probably accidentally go on for 5 paragraphs about the sun; but your brevity of each of the descriptions make this even more impactful, I finish the poem and wish I could read more. Also like the repetition of "the moon / on a sunless plane" at the end there - leaves this longing / lost feeling.
Wow, this is really good! I kind of see it as writer's block, and it's a really interesting way of describing it.I honestly can't think of any criticisms at the moment (though that might be since I don't specialize in poetry, ahaha).I absolutely love the "frequency of my voice" section, it's so descriptive and lovely! And I love how it loops, with "sunless plane", it's so good. Also "a susurrus of indecipherable static in the air" is such a fun sentence to say.Anyway yeah!! this was awesome, keep up the good work
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