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Young Writers Society


by Apricity

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113 Reviews

Points: 181
Reviews: 113

Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:13 pm
Bellarke wrote a review...

Why does it look like a picture??? But I like the name, it grabbed my attention.
Good job on this you did amazing. You are really good at this, so congratulations.

MY fave part is:

"We will always
want to weather the storms
build create safe houses nails the boards in
bit by bit in the slow
mythological rhythm of reamers dancing
to an ageless sun........"

Fantastic Wisteria.

From the Weirdo Liz.

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396 Reviews

Points: 27
Reviews: 396

Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:28 pm
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Pompadour says...

i have missed you and your poetry

Apricity says...

Same to you Pomp, same to you

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351 Reviews

Points: 11482
Reviews: 351

Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:42 am
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Kanome wrote a review...

Hello there, Kanome here with a review!

Let's see, I really enjoyed the flow of the poem. It creates imagery for the readers and the flow of words makes the poem interesting to read. I am assuming here that this is a free verse poem, so I am not going to point out the capitalization and all that. There is one thing I would like to point out, but this is usually me when I write poetry.

years minted in bittersweet
smiles as we tear down house - scraping - the past off

I believe there should be a comma between BITTERSWEET and SMILES.

Other than that, amazing poem! Keep on writing!

Apricity says...

Hi Kanome, thanks for the review! As for the comma, it was an intentional stylistic choice on my part I wanted the sentence to run out and into the next line, it creates a slightly off and somewhat jagged rhythm (I hope) that reflects the content of those lines. But I can understand why you%u2019d have pointed it out.

Thanks again!

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20 Reviews

Points: 349
Reviews: 20

Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:08 pm
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leleparadise wrote a review...

I enjoyed reading this poem. It had a very nice flow.

This line in particular intrigued me the most:

"we're a religion dedicated to aftermaths..."
This really hit home because anything can happen and because of this, we are all made to prepare for the worst scenarios. But for some, it has become a routine to always prepare, face the worst and start over. Which all in all, can be a painful experience.

So I love the fact that you captured that essence in this poem. It's real and it's simply put with a great meaning. I love it. Great job. Keep writing

Apricity says...

Thanks for the review lele, I%u2019m glad you liked the poem.

Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe