You
You…
You have the best eyes
You…
You make me smile
You…
You are perfect
You…
You are my favourite subject
You are the one I can’t live without
You are the one I know everything about
I know you are going to be there
Whenever I need you
In the toughest time
We will break it through
We need five elements to live
But I don’t need those five
Because my soul resides in you
You…
You have everything I want
You…
You are sweet and strong
You…
You are just great
You…
You are the one I await
You are the one I can’t live without
You are the one I know everything about
I know you are going to be there
Whenever I need you
In the toughest time
We will break it through
We need five elements to live
But I don’t need those five
Because my soul resides in you
I want you with me
With a smile on your face
Like you always have
With a grace
I love you
And you love me
Let’s get together
And make a happy love story, cause
I know you are going to be there
Whenever I need you
In the toughest time
We will break it through
We need five elements to live
But I don’t need those five
Because my soul resides in you
By: Anshita
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
I feel like many songs that include 'you' aren't coming from your heart and true lyricists really have to let their emotions into the song. while the lyrics are clever. I believe that you as a writer could do better.
a invested supporter,
mixtape
Thank you June and JabberHut..
June - I don't really have a tune yet for this song.
Jabber - thanks for the advice, I will try and come up with different words. When I was writing this song, I was not in the mood of writing, may be that is the reason why some words sound off.
Thanks guys for reviewing my song.
- Anshita
Hey, Shia!
I'm glad to be of service here. I haven't reviewed lyrics in ages, and since my reviews have been kind of sad everywhere else, my review will probably help you and me both. xD
I'm not sure I like this line in the refrain. The "resides in you" doesn't go well with me. Because my soul... depends on you? Or another word. I think it could use some revamp there. It sounds weird.
This sounds forced and kindergarten-ish. New line or edit here would be loverly. xD
This line seems short in comparison/rhythm with the rest. Of course, I don't have the music to judge, but just by reading this, this line seems off.
----
Alrighty. ^^
I like the lyrics here. I can kind of get an idea as to what type of tune this could be.
I especially liked the "five elements" part in the refrain. It's original, another way to express your love. Genius. ^^ It does a little bit from being one of those cliche I-love-you songs. I wish you could do more with that part, though that's tough when it comes to music. XD
That's about all I can give! If you have any questions, PM me. I'm happy to help. ^^
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Hi Anshita! June here!
I can't really speak much on this song -- I'm not very good at reviewing lyrics because I can disagree with something that the lyricist wants to be that way for sound, rhythm, whatever reason. They're quite tricky to review without sounding biased and without saying so little on one song.
I think it's good so far. I would like to know how it's to be sang and such so that I can better understand it, but for now, I think it's pretty good.
Good job on writing this-- songs are the one thing I was never good at writing.
Juniper