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The End of Summer; The Stoic Meditation of a Flower in a Field of Flowers

by AnotherMoses


I slept on dead earth all summer.

Dirt soiled my pressed suit, and I was made anew, I'm sure.


Sun baked my naked skin, and I knew the day was different,

Rain rained and soaked me through, and I blessed the sky.


Through now my eyes are gone,

And the tongue that tasted,

And the skin that felt both rough and smooth.


And my sightless brain,

That thought with the limits of thought,

And knew only the limits of it's knowledge,

Made claims of all the world,

And at times wished to die.


***


A wildflower sprouts,

It grows from the shacks of my skin,

And thinks its first thoughts.


It knows neither rain, nor sky, nor sun, nor death,

And reaches for nothing,

But says:


Life is a gift.

Who among us wins this gift?


We are but flowers in a field of flowers,

In the late autumn chill.

As each day grows colder than the last,

Our petals fall together.


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20 Reviews

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Reviews: 20

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Mon May 06, 2024 10:05 pm
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Inferno wrote a review...



Hello, my fellow writing friend!



A Little Skimming - First Impressions
Wow! This was a truly deep and poetic piece. Even the title could be a poem of it's own! This wonderous writing is about the care-free way of flowers, and how united they are. Your poem can really serve as a lesson on how to view the world. On how to view life, but more importantly death.



Love it! - Parts That I Like
There are so many likable things about this free-verse.

And my sightless brain,

That thought with the limits of thought,

And knew only the limits of it's knowledge,

Made claims of all the world,

And at times wished to die.

This is a rather bitter-sweet stanza, but I thought it is really well written. I think this explains the unwanted wits and talent that some people have. Sometimes, people are so smart, yet they have no spark for life. I love the depth and meaning of these lines.
It knows neither rain, nor sky, nor sun, nor death,

And reaches for nothing,

But says:


Life is a gift.

Who among us wins this gift?

This part I enjoyed, because it hints that even flowers can teach us a little something. The optimistic yet ignorance of them. Very well done on that part!



Just A Tad Off... - Errors and Corrections
So. This one thing threw me off a bit. You boldened all the first letters of each stanza, so it made me think it was an acrostic. Then I tried to put it together, and it spelt ISTA AILW . Probably not an acrostic. I get it that it looks fancy, but it can be a little flummoxing at first look. Maybe if you just kept it without the emphasized letters, it would be more correct structure-wise.
Rain rained and soaked me through, and I blessed the sky

"Rain rained". That's a bit repetitive, don't you think? Maybe change it to "Rain poured..." or "rain dampened..." or, if you want to be fancy, "Millions of tiny droplets rained..." These ways might make it sound a tad better.



Salutations! - Final Thoughts and Goodbyes
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. It had both poetry, and prose. Good job, and keep writing!
Inferno :smt023





In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien