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Suicide

by Anma


Suicide

You start your life young

Were you think life’s all unicorns, and roses

You believe everything easy

And you just run courses

Your heart is perfect

While others are broken

But you hit a dead end

And don’t know where you're going

You choose your easy way out

Without your thinking.’

No Life No Feeling

No Life No Responsibility

No Life No Hate

No Life is just Great….

But what you didn’t know

Is what you left behind

Your family, your friend, your love

But most of all your pain

Now your love turns to hate

Your happiness turns to sorrow

And your pain…. Never goes away

It grows in your loved one's hearts

But didn’t you think this would make it better?

It only made it worse!

Now it will never be the same….

You left a hole in everyone heart

Now you only stand in the dark

Watching as everyone falls apart….


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User avatar
41 Reviews


Points: 57
Reviews: 41

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Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:24 pm
starryknightt wrote a review...



Hey, Anma.

Breathless. That's what I am. This is absolutely tragic. It's incredibly written, and you put what I believe into words almost perfectly. I'm feeling "Neon Gravestones" in this poem, and that's great, because that means it resonates. In the readers' minds, your mind, and anyone who has struggled like this before, on both sides of the coin.

I saw a few spelling errors, but when you're pouring your heart onto a page it's bound to be a little messy. That's not what the poem's about, anyway.

I can't wait to read more of your art.

-M




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161 Reviews


Points: 8560
Reviews: 161

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Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:02 pm
Liberty500 says...



Is this for real? Does this poem mean you're sister committed suicide...?




Anma says...


Not my sister my sisters boyfriend but yes



Liberty500 says...


Okay, makes sense. That's sad...



Anma says...


Ya..



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27 Reviews


Points: 257
Reviews: 27

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Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:40 am
Morgan wrote a review...



Hey Morgan here.
This was such a well written poem, and I’m pretty sure that this the first work I’ve ever reviewed for you and let me just say.....you made a great first impression with your writing.
You just have a few careless mistakes that isn;t really that big of a deal. I’ll show them to you after I’m done with my review.

anyway, I think you starred in almost all the things that a poem would require. The reader (me) knows what the point of the poem is about, there is some rhyming, and you put in some some effort that shows emotion as well. So...if I were a teacher, I would deffinetely give you an A+ on this. This was really good.

Now, I just have one suggestion. The name of your poem is “Suicide” so maybe in your poem, talk about something relating to suicide. Like since she did all these things, She is surrounded with bad thoughts and ideas of suicide. I’m not sure how to put it, but then again, I’m not the best at explaining things. Ask me if you’re not sure.

so.....you just have some minor mistakes. Don’t worry about them, though.

“You belive everything easey.”

I think this is supposed to say, “You think everything is easey.”

plus, I think maybe adding some punctuation would help too. It would help with the readying and for it to flow more easily.


Okay..so that’s pretty much about it. I think you did phenomenal with this and I absolutely loved it. I can’t wait to read/ review more of your work. Good job!!!!!

~Morgan :)





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