Hi, I enjoyed reading this. Great wording with the description of self-discovery, and with realizing what you are afraid of. (And I like the picture, too)
You have also done a great job with grammar and punctuation, which is good.
Couple of things though... First of all, you could extend this piece. It seemed just too short to me. This piece has a lot of potential, and within a few more paragraphs you can talk more about how your fear of commitment affects you and the people around you. That way, the reader can understand your emotions and what you are addressing better.
Also, you should never end a piece with a question, especially when it is an article or an essay, even if it is a very short one like this. Written pieces are there to answer the reader's or the self's questions. When you end a piece with a question, you will still things unanswered, which is a big turn off for the readers. (This applies to academic piece written for school, too.)
Other than those two things I mentioned, it is an amazing work. With a few tweaks this piece would be just perfect. I hope that is helpful.
Keep up the great work
~mb1221
Points: 39
Reviews: 55
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