Animist: introduction by Animist1 — Novel / Chapter

kaitlyn

Review

Stickied · kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Apr 12, 2024

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

This is a story i want to write about a boy who got kidnapped by a scientist when looking for his lost sister. ----------------An unknown experiment was carried out on him but since there was no proof that it worked, he was dumped into a forest and found out that the experiment worked out. ----------------He made friend with an Eagle, he also found out that he was not the only one that was kidnapped by the scientist. ----------------He and his sister started looking for a way to get out of the forest and reveng.

Oooh it seems we have a bit of a synopsis on our hands here. This is quite the interesting set of escapades that we've got right here. I think it seems like a really good groundwork for a story. I don't know how much of the world this is taking place in has been built but it seems you've definitely but in quite a bit of thought to several parts here.

I love the premise here of someone just out looking for a missing sister there and then getting kidnapped. Definitely opens up a good opportunity for the person to have been in a sketchy place and the way it seems that the sister is part of the kidnapped is a lovely detail I think. It opens up a good possibility there for that original mission to mean a lot more and I think it'll be a lovely addition to the story.

The eagle being a friend is another detail I find interesting. The way it is phrased there makes it seem like the experiment being successful is how this is possible an I'm excited for that prospect. It seems like it will be quite a cool duo. Eagles aren't seen too often in the animal companion style.

Overall this seems like a lovely little idea here. It definitely has all the elements in there for a pretty good story. I can't wait to see what you end up creating here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate

Animist1

Animist1 replied · Apr 12, 2024

Thanks for the review, still looking for points.

NadyaStatham

Review

Stickied · NadyaStatham wrote a review Review · Apr 12, 2024

Hey there! Amaya here to speak my thoughts about your brilliant idea for your story.

First of all, I love the concept. The fact that the experiment will have worked is a great point and I like the revenge pattern.

The following questions/suggestions are merely to help you think more about your story in a bigger picture way and from the perspective of a reader. These are not to offend you in any way, feel free to skip these suggestions, if these are not what you aim for.

So if I get it right, that means that the brother and the sister are actually going to turn in the bad guys? That way they turn into the bad guys and the role’s change, the scientist is now the “good guys.”

Or do they want to stop the evil scientist from experimenting on other children too? This makes them the Hero in another way.

Another smart twist to consider would be to make the boy think this is all real, but in fact he’s still sitting in the experiment chair and it was all in his mind. (this is a pretty common, but effective twist, so I can understand if you don’t want that.)

Overall, I hope my suggestions helped you in some way, I wanted to say I would definitely recommend you to go for it if this is what you want. You have a brilliant idea which can grow out to an engaging and amazing story, perhaps a novel. Who knows. All the best!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Amaya– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉