Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
My hand trembled as I finished writing the last few words of the letter. I inclosed it into a white envelope, and wrote the address in blue pen.
Helena Penrod
285 West Broadway Suite 450
New York, N.y. 10013
I carried the envelope through the crisp fall air, and out to the mailbox. I slipped the envelope into the mailbox, and ran back inside my house without another word.
Hmm, I never thought you could start of a super suspenseful scene with some as simple as a mailbox, but you've managed to prove me very wrong there with this particular gem of a scene. This is very well constructed here I think. You've managed to pull of a very interesting situation here with this one and I find myself very interested in what's going on here with this letter. Great start I think.
Helena opened the letter with great care. It did not say were or who it had came from, and Helena did not have any guesses. The first words of the letter took her by surprise.
Helena,
I know who you are, but you probably don't remember me, but I remembered you. Through the long years of being apart, I still remembered. I dwelled on the thought of never seeing you again.
I probably know you better than anyone else. But you just saw me as, well, I might put it as a spy. I saw you as heaven. But now I know that you are anything but heaven.
As strange as it seams, I still love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I always will.
If you know who this is, then please write back. If you don't, than I don't want to hear from you. Expect another letter.
Love,
Nobody
Helena didn't get it.
She read the letter over and over again. Who could it be, she thought. Who would have send her this letter?
Oooh, well this letter is certainly extra mysterious here. Its not what I'd expected to see at all, and I love this all the more for that. I think you've managed to create a really neat mystery around this whole situation and build this up in a very unique way here. It isn't the longest of chapter ones here but I think it still manages to be very effective at being a chapter one. You've created a lovely start here and I can say that at the very least I'm certainly hooked at this point and would certainly read on to see what chapter two holds here. Great job.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4107
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