Hope

The little kid smiles,
The little kid cries,
The little kid doesn't know what she is up for next.

Looking at her,
I know I can't break down,
No matter what,
No matter when.

Each of her smiles bring a tear,
a heartless weep,
a rip in me.

How can she smile,
Be so naive and hope
that things will be better?

How can she keep that hopeless faith,
knowing what lays ahead?

How can she fight back,
knowing who she is up against?

How can she make me believe,
that she within me,
Is not just a memory?

Comments & reviews · 7
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User avatar
FruityBickel
Review

Like said before, the rythm is slightly off. However, the message that is overall conveyed is nice. Also said before, I felt myself searching for a rhyme, and when there wasn't one it made the poem itself feel a bit off. It sorta messed with the flow and made the poem feel choppy, as though you were sorta stumbling along. All in all though, great poem. Keep writing!

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:08 pm

This was a really sweet nice poem. I can tell you put effort into it and the message is really nice. It connects with the english lesson I had today which makes me feel all the more better about reading it. I think it was all pretty clear. I couldn't see any grammatical mistakes which is good. :) Great Job angel!

Deanie x

User avatar
shloka19
Review

I really like this poem and it reminded me of the little girl we saw in Gandhi Ashram- I know you don't rememebr her but here's my impression of her from my diary...
After visiting Gandhiji's house, we went to the back of the ashram and kept walking till we reached Manav Sadhna sanstha. Outside, we saw some children working on arts and crafts and thought it was a workshop to stimulate their creativity.
We went inside. There was a meeting going on. A man, on asking told us that the children were making bags and cards so that they could sustain themselves.
It was really nice to see that someone was taking an initative. I was touched, but not enough to make me change my thinking.
And then while we were talking to that man, a few children came up to us and put paper flowers which had petals on them that said 'peace, love, hope' around our necks.
A girl put the flower around my neck with a smile on her face. Her smile was so pure, genuine, innocent and sweet that all my previous doubts went away.
That girl, a girl from the slums, looked so beautiful to me at that moment. She was something pure and innocent, untouched by anything. And she was something that deserved much more. Much, much more than than the slums that she lived in, much more than anything she ever had.

Do you see how i interpreted it? Novels are their authors' but the poem truly belongs to their readers. To each his own interpretation.

I loved it anyways... as always :D

Random avatar
TylynRae
Review

I really liked the idea of this poem. I would have portrayed it slightly different. The rhythm seemed to be a bit off. The first two lines hinted that it may rhyme, but then it didn't, which sort of gave me a strange feeling and left me really searching for the rhythm.
But, the message of the poem was wonderful, and I like how you had it all centered around innocence and childhood.

This is my first review in a loong time, so I'm a bit rusty at this. Hope I helped a little =]

i think that the title is very relevant..and the plot the poem tells is indeed interesting. but still if you want to come up with a new title..you can have "never grow up" or "the kid in me" or "kid's lesson" or somewhat like that.but i really appreciate your poem..,it is very touching.!! good work...keep going on!!:)

User avatar
Angelreader77
Comment

Can someone help me with the name? I'm stuck. :(



If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
— Woodrow Wilson