One cut,
Two cuts,
Three cuts,
Four,
I can't help but stare as the blood drips to the floor.
Maybe I'm crazy,
Maybe I'm suicidal,
But as I watch it drip I can't help but to smile.
My whole life's been a lie,
So maybe it's best,
To just lay here and die,
With my hands on my chest.
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Canary word: Present
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141,379 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
I very much liked this poem because it is dark and true. I think it was quick and to the point but made a very clear impression on the reader. I thought it had a very nice tone to it. The tone was dark without being frightening it was just very realistic. You also feel very bad for the speaker of the poem and all you want to do is help them. I love how it invokes emotion. Overall I thought it was a very good poem. Great job.
Hello Angelica, Cheetah here to review your poem.
First off, I want to say this is a very straightforward poem. I like the rhythm in this; it flows very well.
This poem reminds me of a poem written by xDarkHeart27x. I'm curious, did you happen to get your inspiration from her?
The most dramatic part, I think was the last four lines. They flowed the best and the rhyming was excellent.
Great work!
Ladcat here for a review!
Though short, you convey nice emotion in this poem. Great job with rhythm and rhyme scheme, both are well-developed and consistent. I appreciate that you punctuated correctly; one of my (many) pet peeves is when people don't punctuate poetry! There's my structural analysis on the poem, now here's my own personal reaction. This poem makes me remember a saying that my father uses: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I write this to everybody who writes about suicide, out of friendly concern. Most of the time I don't even need to; but I write it anyway. So welcome to YWS, where we all like to get into each others' business! Yaaaay... And of course, as always, keep writing : )
Don't give up! Only then can you truly lose!